Singles R Us

[opinionista]

Are intimate relationships necessary?

Well, not really but they can be fun! 

Although a few friends with benefits doesn't hurt.

No, it doesn't! 

[Front-Ranger]

Reading thru all these posts it seems like all the Ennises can get along pretty well by themselves, but the Jacks are a different story!!

[Front-Ranger]

Sort of related...new research that shows that geeks make the best mates!!

http://www.livescience.com/health/080212-dating-success.html

I wish I'd known this before choosing my mate!!

[min]

I spend at least $60 a week on groceries, but I also spend at least that much eating out.

Interesting posts on this thread and I'm in agreement with a lot of the posts - I like to be on my own and have my own space.  Relationships are way too complicated for me.  I don't want to compromise and I like a LOT of downtime.  I guess I sound very selfish and self-centered.   

[Kelda]

I spend at least $60 a week on groceries, but I also spend at least that much eating out.

Interesting posts on this thread and I'm in agreement with a lot of the posts - I like to be on my own and have my own space.  Relationships are way too complicated for me.  I don't want to compromise and I like a LOT of downtime.  I guess I sound very selfish and self-centered.   

Not at all! You've got to be selfish some times!

[ZK]

Not at all! You've got to be selfish some times!

I don't think its selfish either. I have always enjoyed some time to myself. I guess thats why I like shift work so much. Some time with a partner and some time for myself too

[CellarDweller]

Time alone isn't a bad or selfish thing.

My parents have been married for over 40 years, and they still go out without each other occasionally, dad with his brothers, and mom with her friends.

[KristinDaBomb]

I'm single, but I'm 18 and still in school so my parents pay for the groceries lol.
[/quote

heee enjoy it when you can Krisitn - and welcome to bettermost and the How We Live Forum 

Just saw this post, thank you.

Well I am 19 now (20 next month) and my parents still pay for the groceries! And I am still single. Hopefully the right girl will come along someday.

[Kelda]

She will hun, she will!

[delalluvia]

Some notes from the front lines:

1) A bisexual friend was trying men this time around again, and had met a nice guy at one of her Dining Out groups.  Things were moving along and she was letting me know they were finally getting to know each other better.

Went to visit her this last weekend and when I asked after her guy, she reported she had now blocked him from her Facebook/MySpace and phone.  Apparently, the guy had a borderline personality disorder and was a bit of a stalker. 

2) A friend fell for a soon-to-be-divorced man.  They had been friends for a while.  The guy had been separated for a long time, so she reasoned he wouldn't be the shocky-needing-a-transitional-woman type.  She waited through his emotional ups and downs, got assurances from him that he wanted a serious relationship with her, they dated some - or as much as his and her schedule and his child custody days would allow - but he always seemed to be holding back.  He'd been married most of his adult life, so his  friends cautioned her that he just needed to be "officially" divorced and things would be different.  So, she waited that out as well.  Finally, he gets divorced, they have a 'first' date post-divorce and things went swimmingly.  He went out of his way to go visit her while she was out of town working and they had official 'date #2' where they finally got fully intimate. 

And...he doesn't call her again.  She has to call him and though he's pleasant and happy to chat and gossip, suddenly the intimacy is gone, he's ambivalent about when he can see her again.   

His friends are disappointed in him and are telling her that he's treating her like she's 'convenient'.

Needless to say, it's apparently over before it even began.  My friend is heartbroken because she waited for this, believed what he was telling her, was patient with him and this guy seemed to like her whole package - for once in her dating life - so she had serious hopes for their future together.  And now she has no clue what went wrong between date 1 and date 2 and she ain't likely to ever know.  Now, I would call the guy and throw his lies and ambivalency in his face and see what he has to say for himself, but my friend is extremely non-confrontational, so that's not going to happen.

Just some reasons I gave up on dating and I'm happy that it's just me and my cats.