Author Topic: Can't Stand It - by nosunlight (Read 21691 times)

Brown Eyes · « **on:** September 14, 2007, 12:07:03 am »

Heya,

I just started this story tonight and I really like it so far so I thought I'd start a thread. I've only read 3 chapters of the existing 40, so I have a long way to go still. It's an au that picks up the story at the divorce scene and re-imagines different decisions and scenarios from that point.

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/?tag=can%27t+stand+it

Penthesilea · « **Reply #1 on:** September 14, 2007, 12:43:20 am »

Hey bud,
I wanted to start a thread for this story, too. You beat me to it

. I second your recommendation.
This story had me hooked from the beginning and has managed to continue to do so to chap 40. Sometimes stories need a a while to develop a grip on me, sometimes stories are captivating from the beginning, but get weaker later, when the first original idea of the set-up wears down. Not this one. Highly recommended

.

belbbmfan · « **Reply #2 on:** September 14, 2007, 01:49:49 am »

Thanks Chrissi and Amanda.

I'm always interesting in a new story. I've started reading White Picket Fences and Apple Trees after you recommended it Chrissi and i sure wasn't disappointed. I really miss this story and I hope that the author hasn't given up on this one... $:-\$

Penthesilea · « **Reply #3 on:** September 14, 2007, 05:05:52 am »

Quote from: belbbmfan on September 14, 2007, 01:49:49 am

I really miss this story and I hope that the author hasn't given up on this one... $:-\$

Re: WPFAAT
It's been almost half a year since the last update $:-\$
Recently I read in a comment over at LJ that midget had no plans of updating it. But the comment wasn't by midget herself, so I have no idea how reliable the source is.

I'll bump the WPFAAT thread here at BM and ask if anybody knows something about it.

mariez · « **Reply #4 on:** September 14, 2007, 12:55:25 pm »

How did this one fly under my radar, I wonder? Adding it to the list......

Thanks for the rec Amanda and Chrissi.

Marie

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #5 on:** September 14, 2007, 04:15:14 pm »

Yeah, somehow Can't Stand It was under my radar too. I really love the first several chapters so far. I can't wait for the weekend to really start so I can read more. It's a happy thing to realize that there are 40 chapters of this one already available.

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #6 on:** September 17, 2007, 11:17:23 pm »

Yeehaw! Chapter 41 is up.

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1459035.html#cutid1

Penthesilea · « **Reply #7 on:** September 21, 2007, 03:41:05 pm »

chapter 42 is up:

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1470480.html#cutid1

I love the frequent updating

.

mariez · « **Reply #8 on:** September 21, 2007, 04:00:44 pm »

Quote from: Penthesilea on September 21, 2007, 03:41:05 pm

chapter 42 is up:

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1470480.html#cutid1

I love the frequent updating .

Wow - frequent updating, for sure! I'm just about caught up on this story and enjoying it very much. A nice combination of humor and serious subject matter. Thanks again for the recs!

Marie

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #9 on:** September 21, 2007, 07:24:16 pm »

I just finished reading chapter 41 last night!

So, this most recent update is very timely. I'm planning on reading the new chapter tonight.

I am still really liking this story. The writing style is really charming I think. I especially like the way the kids' characters are written... I think their dialogue, etc. seems really realistic.

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #10 on:** September 25, 2007, 12:14:54 am »

Update!

Chapter 43

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1483473.html#cutid1

mariez · « **Reply #11 on:** September 25, 2007, 11:22:11 am »

Thanks, Amanda!

I'm all caught up and loving this story. That was such a sweet, funny, loving, hopeful chapter (and a welcome relief - wow, there must have been an angry angst gremlin running around in the fandom this weekend)!

Marie

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #12 on:** October 02, 2007, 11:03:50 pm »

There are so many exciting updates lately... and here's another that I'm really, really happy to see

.

Here's Chapter 44 (it's a 2 part update)!

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1509467.html#cutid1

Penthesilea · « **Reply #13 on:** October 03, 2007, 05:38:36 am »

Quote from: atz75 on October 02, 2007, 11:03:50 pm

There are so many exciting updates lately... and here's another that I'm really, really happy to see .

Here's Chapter 44 (it's a 2 part update)!

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1509467.html#cutid1

Thanks Amanda

Wow, even a two parter

Off to read....

mariez · « **Reply #14 on:** October 03, 2007, 12:14:22 pm »

Thanks, Amanda!

SPOILERS

I always enjoy stories written in letter or diary form, and I thought it was great to get Junior's perspective on everything. She's a sharp young woman. It cracked me up how she kept telling Alma to stop reading. LOL!

Worried about how Ennis is feeling, though...it had to be obvious to Jack, as well, and I"m anxious to get this chapter from Ennis's or Jack's perspective.

And Bobby - oh, my. I know Jack said he was aware of the bad influence L.D. had on him, but I think he should know about what went on. That was really ugly and disturbing.

I'm glad she said she was already working on the next chapter!

Marie

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #15 on:** October 10, 2007, 11:32:04 pm »

Yeehaw, there's a 3 part update!

Here's a link to chapter 45.1

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1536864.html#cutid1

mariez · « **Reply #16 on:** October 11, 2007, 01:02:05 pm »

Quote from: atz75 on October 10, 2007, 11:32:04 pm

Yeehaw, there's a 3 part update!

Here's a link to chapter 45.1

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1536864.html#cutid1

This was great - I really appreciate getting so many points of view because it gives us a better understanding of each character and we're not always wondering what someone's really thinking. These chapters are just like real life - a little (or a lot) of everything.

Marie

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #17 on:** October 14, 2007, 09:08:20 pm »

Another update!

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1548336.html#cutid1

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #18 on:** October 18, 2007, 09:05:09 pm »

Here's chapter 47!

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1561212.html#cutid1

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #19 on:** October 24, 2007, 07:37:02 pm »

And Chapter 48...

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1578122.html#cutid1

mariez · « **Reply #20 on:** October 25, 2007, 03:19:03 pm »

Have to say again what an enjoyable story this is. The writer doesn't shy away from the hard stuff, but she always manages to make me laugh, too.

Marie

Penthesilea · « **Reply #21 on:** October 31, 2007, 02:41:47 am »

chapter 50 is up:

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1599513.html#cutid1

*** Spoiler ***

I love this story, it's well thought-out and very good written. But at the moment, I'm not happy at all with Jack. I think the more Ennis grows and changes and is willing to make even more steps forward, the more egoistic Jack gets and the more Jacks moves backwards. I think the conditions he sets for a hypothetical move (if he had the benevolence to agree to it at all

) would be not fair and make them unequal from the beginning on.
He wants to have everything: his (and only his!) farm, the Petersons, a good, respected position in the community, a close relationship to Bobby, lots of money and the good feeling of being generous with it. And Ennis would be the icing on the cake.
But Ennis would have to give up everything and would have nothing except Jack: his job (job-wise he would gain nothing with a move) and his close relationship with his daughters, he would lose the possibility to see them as often as they want. Additionally, Jack would have the say about everything, would be his boss and would (theoretically) always be able to dump and fire him from one day to the next.

Not fair in my book. I hope they will be able to work out something fairer once they get to that point of getting specific about a move.

mariez · « **Reply #22 on:** October 31, 2007, 01:11:45 pm »

Quote from: Penthesilea on October 31, 2007, 02:41:47 am

chapter 50 is up:

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1599513.html#cutid1

*** Spoiler ***

I love this story, it's well thought-out and very good written. But at the moment, I'm not happy at all with Jack. I think the more Ennis grows and changes and is willing to make even more steps forward, the more egoistic Jack gets and the more Jacks moves backwards. I think the conditions he sets for a hypothetical move (if he had the benevolence to agree to it at all ) would be not fair and make them unequal from the beginning on.
He wants to have everything: his (and only his!) farm, the Petersons, a good, respected position in the community, a close relationship to Bobby, lots of money and the good feeling of being generous with it. And Ennis would be the icing on the cake.
But Ennis would have to give up everything and would have nothing except Jack: his job (job-wise he would gain nothing with a move) and his close relationship with his daughters, he would lose the possibility to see them as often as they want. Additionally, Jack would have the say about everything, would be his boss and would (theoretically) always be able to dump and fire him from one day to the next.

Not fair in my book. I hope they will be able to work out something fairer once they get to that point of getting specific about a move.

OMG, Chrissi - I'm relieved to see your post - I thought I was the only who was starting to feel a little uncomfortable about the last few chapters. I, too, love the story and agree that it's well thought out and very well written. But......I guess I have a "thing" about authors "favoring" one character over the other and maybe I'm too sensitive about it, but a few of the chapters have given me an unsettled feeling that that may be what's going on here. And then, last night, I was reading the thread over at ennisjack about this story, looking for some opinions, and I see this one post where someone who's just started the story asked whether she should continue because of a reply the author made to a comment in an early chapter. The author's reply being: "It's fun to make Ennis suffer a little." Yikes. I went back and looked and the comment was indeed there after Chapter 2.

I know she was probably joking but that doesn't sit right with me and, frankly, it's colored my view of the story now. So....when the author has Jack saying that it's not about "punishment" - well.......hmmmmm. In theory, I guess I can understand the rationale, but viscerally it doesn't feel right at all - and now that you've pointed out a few more things, I feel even more unsettled about it. You're right - there doesn't seem to be much in the way of compromise in the plan. And plus, that damn comment keeps running through my mind. I almost wish I hadn't read it now - but it's like unringing a bell - can't be done! LOL!

Well, anyways, enough rambling. Thanks for sharing your insightful thoughts.

Marie

cwby30 · « **Reply #23 on:** October 31, 2007, 04:08:53 pm »

Afternoon, Penthesilia and Marie.

*** Spoiler ***

Well, after reading your comments, I have to agree with you on some of the points. For so long Ennis held the reins, seeing Jack when he could make it. Then, when Ennis turned him away after the divorce, Jack decided to take the reins and cut Ennis out of his life. Then, when Ennis showed up unexpectedly, Jack lets Ennis back into his life, and practically begs him to move down. Then, Jack has second thoughts because of what people would think/say, and the possibility of losing Bobby because of what Bobby would think and say, and is paranoid enough to be squirreling money in a Swiss bank account and other 'secret' accounts. Reverse OS, anyone?

So, I don't like the fact that Jack wants to have his cake and eat it too, so to speak, and force Ennis into a situation that he is entirely beholding to Jack. Would rather see Ennis move down somewhere close, and establish himself separate from Jack, and they meet whenever they want to, whether outside of Kansas or in one or the other's place.

Maybe Ennis should buy a Super Lotto ticket at a convenience store on his way back to Wyoming, and hit it big, and have enough money not to be beholding to Jack. Where would that lead them? Would Ennis want to buy a half-interest in EJ's? Would Jack be willing to sell a half-interest to Ennis if he offered? That would be a real turning point in their relationship. If Jack refused, then Ennis could leave like Jack did, and find his own way even though broken-hearted, and see whether Jack ever backs down.

Guess all this means that I too think something's gotta give here, something rather monumental, something to make Jack reassess his 'terms and conditions', and Ennis to reassess them, too. Just seems like Jack's terms are a recipe for disaster, and that Ennis may be putting too much trust in Jack despite Jack's professed promise to be a good employer.

Also, just my personal tastes I guess, but Jack is pushing the sex a tad bit too kinky. Don't really think OS Ennis would go along with all of that, unless Jack was willing to do the same, and even then... Ennis has come a long way over the past months in the story, but even then... But this is AU, so...

Thanks again.

frantic65 · « **Reply #24 on:** November 01, 2007, 10:37:58 pm »

These last few chapters have really made me think hard about where J&E are truly heading right now. The no way you can ever be my biz partner statement threw me for a loop. I understand Jack's reasoning, but it seems to be a very cold almost calculating decision, where I would expect a more emotional reaction from him, leaving that possibility there-this just struck me as harsh. Ennis' reaction was just as disturbing-he kind of rolled over and said "ok, no problem" Add this to the money discussion & I'm starting to think of Jack as Mack Daddy Twist-

It is getting difficult to see them obtaining an "equal" footing to allow that sweet life to succeed. Then when Jack is thinking about how he doesn't want to jeopardize his new "family" (Brenda & Sam), I am getting real concerned. I see Ennis in danger of becoming a dirty little secret that Jack will prefer keeping in Wyoming, with great vacations with the kids to Disney (etc) and monthly visits to some nice hotel for a weekend of hot kinky sex. (Not that I'm complaining about that part!) Am I reading more into this than I should be??

I know Ennis still has his own pride issues that are by no means easily overcome, but how could he ever exist as a foreman at EJ's & expect to be taken seriously if he is openly living with Jack? Of course, his being a biz partner gives them the same issues, but I feel the fact that Jack accepted him as a partner not an employee would make it a better situation. After all, if they were a het couple that got married, the woman would automatically obtain a vested interest in the business.

This is a very tangled mess right now & I can't wait to see how NS resolves things.

mariez · « **Reply #25 on:** November 02, 2007, 01:25:43 pm »

cwby and Fran - some very thoughtful comments. Thanks for sharing - I always like to hear lots of perspectives.

cwby - at this point it doesn't appear to me that Jack would even want Ennis to buy into a partnership - and you're right that that would be an acid test - but I don't think there's any chance of him winnng the lotto. I'm not bothered that the sex is too kinky and I don't have a problem with Ennis liking it - but I do sometimes find myself confused as to, err, specifics, when they're hanging upside down from closet rods and such -

- sometimes my imagination isn't up to the task!

Fran - "Mack Daddy Twist" made me LOL! Yeah, it does seem a little like that, doesn't it? I realize Jack has been hurt by a lot of people, including Ennis. But the hurt that Ennis caused Jack in the past was never intentional, it was only born from his own considerable pain and self-loathing. So I don't think it's quite accurate for Jack to lump Ennis in with Lureen and L.D. as people who have controlled and hurt him - the issues he had with them, as hurtful as they have been, are not Ennis's fault. The author refers to Jack as finding an "inner strength" - and I like that a lot - that's always a good thing for anyone. But inner strength has nothing to do with money or power or how much stuff we own or how many people we think we "control." And that's something I don't think this Jack has learned yet.

Yes, a very tangled mess, with a lot of complex issues (and I don't even think we've seen all of them yet!). It will be interesting to see how it all plays out and if, indeed, everything can be resolved.

Thanks,
Marie

frantic65 · « **Reply #26 on:** November 02, 2007, 04:35:04 pm »

Hi Marie,

Yes-complex issues sums it up very well & your musing that there may be more to come in that department sounds pretty accurate to me. One of the things I love most about this story is that she is not predictable & always keeps me off balance though.

Jack's "inner strength" seems to be coming out in that kinky sex though-don't you think?? He's been acting a little on the dom side. Hmmm.

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #27 on:** November 04, 2007, 08:12:19 pm »

**Spoilers, questions, etc... **

I agree with many of you that this sudden idea from Jack that he would not be willing to share EJ with Ennis in co-ownership/ management seemed like a very odd gesture from a typical-Jack-character. I always thought that the reason that he named the farm EJ was because he was dreaming that Ennis would someday be co-owner. I do understand his desire for control and for calling the shots in the relationship for a while... especially following Ennis's divorce fiasco, but I think he's definitely going too far at the moment.

And, I have another somewhat related question... Do you think Jack is being paranoid about Bobby's potential reaction to Jack being gay and/or to his relationship with Ennis? I find it a tad hard to believe that a kid could do as much damage as Jack seems to think he could. And, I find it upsetting that Jack thinks that being outed really could mean the end to his success as a farmer and cause so much overall damage to his life. Is this situation about Jack being as paranoid/ overly worried as Ennis usually is in other fanfics, etc.?

mariez · « **Reply #28 on:** November 04, 2007, 08:49:08 pm »

SPOILERS

Hi, Amanda!

Yep, I was nodding my head while reading your post, I think you stated that perfectly.

Yes, the Bobby thing is confusing to me, too! I'm not clear on exactly what it is that Jack thinks will, or could, happen. From what I gather he thinks that Bobby might want to go back to Lureen and L.D. and then he'd have to run off with Bobby to keep that from happening? I don't know ....that sounds a little extreme to me. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I think Jack has to start being more pro-active in having talks with Bobby and not just wait for Bobby to act up and say hateful things and then try to correct them. I totally understand that Jack is walking on eggshells when it comes to Bobby - the poor child has been through a lot - but I don't think he's doing Bobby any favors by pampering him and, in fact, he's probably hurting him in the long-run.

I'm also not sure about what he thinks will happen to the farm - does he think he'll lose all his customers and everyone he does business with? Is this where that creepy Scott comes into the picture - there's been a lot of foreshadowing about him for awhile. Yeah, it is ironic - Ennis has completely opened up to him - and now Jack is the paranoid one! I know Jack has a lot invested in the farm and a lot to lose - but if that's Jack's rationale, then weren't Ennis's fears all those years equally valid? Why does having money and propery make it ok to be fearful?

Well, as I said, a very complex set of issues!

Thanks,
Marie

Penthesilea · « **Reply #29 on:** November 05, 2007, 06:19:36 am »

***Spoilers***

Quote from: atz75 on November 04, 2007, 08:12:19 pm

..., but I think he's definitely going too far at the moment.

Yup.

Quote

And, I have another somewhat related question... Do you think Jack is being paranoid about Bobby's potential reaction to Jack being gay and/or to his relationship with Ennis? I find it a tad hard to believe that a kid could do as much damage as Jack seems to think he could. And, I find it upsetting that Jack thinks that being outed really could mean the end to his success as a farmer and cause so much overall damage to his life. Is this situation about Jack being as paranoid/ overly worried as Ennis usually is in other fanfics, etc.?

Quote

From Mariez:
Yes, the Bobby thing is confusing to me, too! I'm not clear on exactly what it is that Jack thinks will, or could, happen. From what I gather he thinks that Bobby might want to go back to Lureen and L.D. and then he'd have to run off with Bobby to keep that from happening? I don't know ....that sounds a little extreme to me.

No, I don't think Jack fears Bobby would want to go back to Lureen and LD. But what he fears is that Bobby, in a first (?) angry, hateful, exaggerated reaction would run for the phone - first chance he'd get

- and tell Lureen/LD everything straightaway. And LD/Lureen wouldn't stand for their son/grandson growing up in the household of a queer (let alone two, if Ennis moved in). So Jack fears LD/Lureen would take some kind of action against him (from fighting for custody to send out hired killers).

I think this setting is illogical for two reasons: first of all, Bobby is ten years old. Kids of that age are not *that* hateful. He may have been influenced by LD and have prejudices against people who are "different" in any way - but he's too young to hate in an adult manner. And kids of this age are so influenceable. Especially by a parent who they love and trust (what Bobby obviously does with Jack). My girls are 9 and 11. If I told them the earth is flat, and everything I've told them before about this subject and everything they've learned at school or ever heard about the earth being round had recently proven wrong by newest scientific research - they would believe me.
If Jack told Bobby there's nothing wrong with loving and living with another man and explained it, Bobby would believe him. He's ten!

The other reason I find the setting not thoroughly logical is that the author completely ignores what is much more likely to be the case: If he knew, Bobby would sooner or later blab about it to Lureen/LD. Even if he has no contact w/ them at the moment, this won't last for eternity.

Of course the author writes the story the way she likes to (and rightfully so). So if she wants Bobby to be truly hateful, she'll just write it this way. But I, as a reader, have the choice to find it realistic or unrealistic.

But even when/if I find the Bobby subplot not very realistic, it doesn't take away from the story for me. I can overlook this.
What bothers me more is Jack's egoistic attitude.
And yeah, I think it is about punishment and it is about money. Just imagine Jack would have bought a much smaller property had managed to get by the last two years, but hadn't made much profit. How welcome Ennis' skills and willingness for hard work would be.

belbbmfan · « **Reply #30 on:** November 05, 2007, 09:09:51 am »

$:-\$ $:-\$

I'm not caught up on this story. I've only read about 20 or so chapter. But after reading all the comments here (very good and insightful ones - thanks for that!), I'm debatting whether I should continue...

Penthesilea · « **Reply #31 on:** November 05, 2007, 11:27:57 am »

Quote from: belbbmfan on November 05, 2007, 09:09:51 am

$:-\$ $:-\$

I'm not caught up on this story. I've only read about 20 or so chapter. But after reading all the comments here (very good and insightful ones - thanks for that!), I'm debatting whether I should continue...

You should!

Criticizing a story does not mean it's not a good story, at least not in this case. I still like the story very much and recommend it. Try to see it as a positive sign, that we are so taken in by the story overall, that we care to debate details back and forth. We wouldn't do this if we didn't like the story.
But I have to admit that I'm frustrated by Jack's actions and talk the last few chapters and I hope things will get a twist for the better soonish.

If you are at chapter 20 now, and the story is already up to chap 51, there's a good chance that the things we're discussing right now are not a topic anymore at the point when you will reach chap 51

.
And you would cut yourself off almost 30 very good chapters.

frantic65 · « **Reply #32 on:** November 05, 2007, 01:29:06 pm »

bellbbmfan please keep on reading. I love that this story gives us so much to debate about. In between where you are & the current chapters is a whole lot of really terrific stuff. There were a few times earlier in the story where Ennis was the one that had us shaking our heads wondering what was up. I think the title says it all-it's just sometimes its the characters who can't stand it & sometimes it's the readers!

The author always comes through, even if it's in surprising ways.

The guys are taking baby steps to happiness, but they still have a long way to go & they'll just have to tackle one thing at a time. Jack's paranoia is not logical, but that's the nature of paranoia. I always thought Ennis' fear of the tire iron in the OS was the same. Now we have Jack giving way too much power to what the outcome of Bobby finding out would be. He needs to realize that Bobby would more than likely not want to lose the new family he has either (Brenda & Sam & company) & go back to Lureen & LD. Brenda might be our key here, but I don't think she knows how seriously freaked out Jack is about Bobby finding out yet.

There remains throughout the whole story the truth that J&E love each other & want to be together & I have never gotten to the point where I ever thought otherwise.

Anyway, this is one story that I highly recommend & I think everyone who has been commenting on it here feels the same way.

cwby30 · « **Reply #33 on:** November 05, 2007, 01:32:36 pm »

Mornin'.

Well, keep on reading!!! Don't let our discussion dissuade you. You may have a completely different feeling by the time you get to the end of the current chapter. And, everyone has an opinion, which is one of the great things about this forum, ennisjack and BrokebackSlash... we can discuss without making personal attacks which have nothing to do with the topic.

When you've caught up, return with your insights. We'll be interested to read them.

Thanks again.

mariez · « **Reply #34 on:** November 05, 2007, 01:36:03 pm »

Amanda - Something I forgot in my last post - I believe the farm already had the name when Jack bought it - kind of an ironic, bittersweet sign, I guess!

Quote from: Penthesilea on November 05, 2007, 06:19:36 am

No, I don't think Jack fears Bobby would want to go back to Lureen and LD. But what he fears is that Bobby, in a first (?) angry, hateful, exaggerated reaction would run for the phone - first chance he'd get - and tell Lureen/LD everything straightaway. And LD/Lureen wouldn't stand for their son/grandson growing up in the household of a queer (let alone two, if Ennis moved in). So Jack fears LD/Lureen would take some kind of action against him (from fighting for custody to send out hired killers).

Yeah, I remember Jack saying something like that now, Chrissi. But it still doesn't make sense to me. Why call Lureen and L.D. if he doesn't want to go back there? What's the point? Just to get Jack in trouble or make him "change his ways?" I don't get it. And I think you make a good point that Bobby is still a child - the impressions he's been given by L.D. are not yet set in stone - he's still at an age when he can be influenced for the better. And as much as I realize that Jack is falling into the trap that many divorced parents do and that it's understandable - he's got all kinds of guilt going, he's still letting Bobby control him. And you just can't let a ten year old control you. Someone has to be in charge and that someone has to be the parent. If Bobby has such serious issues that Jack can't handle - if he's full of that much hate - well, I don't know what to say. He needs some kind of professional help. Besides, doesn't Jack have the fact that L.D. abused Bobby as something he can hold over him? That's how he forced Lureen and L.D. to give him up in the first place. And you're right - sooner or later L.D. and Lureen are going to find out - then what?

Fran - you're right, paranoia isn't logical! But as much as Jack told Ennis that he's not making the fear of losing Bobby more important than Ennis's fear of losing his girls - well, when it comes right down to it - he is. There is no difference. If Jack's fears are valid and understandable - then so were Ennis's all those years. Ennis didn't know how Alma would react if he had moved in with Jack after the divorce- at that point she very well could have made it so that he never saw the girls. And it's this lack of understanding on Jack's part that is bothering me. Ennis will forever have his paranoia held over his head - he's so guilty about what he did to Jack now that he wouldn't dare call Jack on anything he's doing that doesn't make sense. And that's the part that bothers me. There's no equal footing here. But, maybe we'll get to the point where Jack admits this, I don't know...... he doesn't seem to be seeing that right now, but, of course, things change all the time!

Fabienne - Please continue reading. Everyone is right - it's a great story! And I would love to hear your insights!

Marie

frantic65 · « **Reply #35 on:** November 05, 2007, 04:08:41 pm »

Quote from: mariez on November 05, 2007, 01:36:03 pm

Amanda - Something I forgot in my last post - I believe the farm already had the name when Jack bought it - kind of an ironic, bittersweet sign, I guess!

Yeah, I remember Jack saying something like that now, Chrissi. But it still doesn't make sense to me. Why call Lureen and L.D. if he doesn't want to go back there? What's the point? Just to get Jack in trouble or make him "change his ways?" I don't get it. And I think you make a good point that Bobby is still a child - the impressions he's been given by L.D. are not yet set in stone - he's still at an age when he can be influenced for the better. And as much as I realize that Jack is falling into the trap that many divorced parents do and that it's understandable - he's got all kinds of guilt going, he's still letting Bobby control him. And you just can't let a ten year old control you. Someone has to be in charge and that someone has to be the parent. If Bobby has such serious issues that Jack can't handle - if he's full of that much hate - well, I don't know what to say. He needs some kind of professional help. Besides, doesn't Jack have the fact that L.D. abused Bobby as something he can hold over him? That's how he forced Lureen and L.D. to give him up in the first place. And you're right - sooner or later L.D. and Lureen are going to find out - then what?

Fran - you're right, paranoia isn't logical! But as much as Jack told Ennis that he's not making the fear of losing Bobby more important than Ennis's fear of losing his girls - well, when it comes right down to it - he is. There is no difference. If Jack's fears are valid and understandable - then so were Ennis's all those years. Ennis didn't know how Alma would react if he had moved in with Jack after the divorce- at that point she very well could have made it so that he never saw the girls. And it's this lack of understanding on Jack's part that is bothering me. Ennis will forever have his paranoia held over his head - he's so guilty about what he did to Jack now that he wouldn't dare call Jack on anything he's doing that doesn't make sense. And that's the part that bothers me. There's no equal footing here. But, maybe we'll get to the point where Jack admits this, I don't know...... he doesn't seem to be seeing that right now, but, of course, things change all the time!

Fabienne - Please continue reading. Everyone is right - it's a great story! And I would love to hear your insights!

Marie

Here's the perfect example of why these discussions are so terrific. Marie, I didn't even consider what was causing Ennis to kind of accept everything Jack is dishing out to him. Ennis with a case of the guilts is worse than Ennis with his tire iron phobia!! Now tell me this because you've thrown me for a loop here-do you think Jack is aware of this & sort of counting on this guilty conscience to get the best of both worlds until he feels Bobby is old enough to hear the truth??? That would be harsh-maybe its just kind of a subconscious thing. Anybody else out there have thoughts on this point?? Agree/disagree?

Oh yeah-EJ's was already the name when Jack bought the farm-the previous owners were Ed & Janice or something like that & Jack almost choked when he heard the name.

mariez · « **Reply #36 on:** November 05, 2007, 04:41:22 pm »

Quote from: frantic65 on November 05, 2007, 04:08:41 pm

Here's the perfect example of why these discussions are so terrific. Marie, I didn't even consider what was causing Ennis to kind of accept everything Jack is dishing out to him. Ennis with a case of the guilts is worse than Ennis with his tire iron phobia!! Now tell me this because you've thrown me for a loop here-do you think Jack is aware of this & sort of counting on this guilty conscience to get the best of both worlds until he feels Bobby is old enough to hear the truth??? That would be harsh-maybe its just kind of a subconscious thing. Anybody else out there have thoughts on this point?? Agree/disagree?

Hi Fran,

Oh, no! I don't think Jack is consciously trying to lord the past over Ennis's head. Jack could never be that cruel intentionally and he loves Ennis with all his heart, that's obvious !

But Ennis and guilt go hand in hand - and I think Jack should realize that by now! Jack isn't purposely trying to keep Ennis feeling guilty, but as the cliche goes - it is what it is. Jack cut Ennis out of his life because Ennis couldn't let go of his fear and paranoia. That's a fact. And Ennis is going to regret that always. He's made that clear. And when Ennis had that relapse of sorts when he was scared about the girls finding out and their reaction - well, Jack was pretty clear then, too. My way or the highway. He considered that almost unforgivable and we went through the whole thing again - Ennis is stubborn and fearful, yada yada, we even had Alma get in on the act, telling Ennis he didn't deserve Jack! So.... I guess what I'm saying is, if Ennis was so awful for being fearful and paranoid - and no one cut him any slack, why is it different when Jack is the one being paranoid? I just don't buy into the idea that it's different somehow. It isn't. But I don't think Jack realizes this.

So, I don't think Jack is doing this purposely - but I do think he has some subconscious resentment lingering, which I guess is natural. And I think Ennis senses this somehow and that makes him fearful of speaking up (Ennis may not be educated in the traditional way - but he's very smart!) I think they both have to get past those kinds of things if they're going to have a chance. They're not equals right now (and I'm not talking about money). And until they can be equals, there are going to be subconscious resentments on both sides - a very bad thing in any relationship. Just mho, anyway!

Thanks,
Marie

Penthesilea · « **Reply #37 on:** November 05, 2007, 05:08:13 pm »

Quote from: mariez on November 05, 2007, 04:41:22 pm

Hi Fran,

Oh, no! I don't think Jack is consciously trying to lord the past over Ennis's head. Jack could never be that cruel intentionally and he loves Ennis with all his heart, that's obvious !

But Ennis and guilt go hand in hand - and I think Jack should realize that by now! Jack isn't purposely trying to keep Ennis feeling guilty, but as the cliche goes - it is what it is. Jack cut Ennis out of his life because Ennis couldn't let go of his fear and paranoia. That's a fact. And Ennis is going to regret that always. He's made that clear. And when Ennis had that relapse of sorts when he was scared about the girls finding out and their reaction - well, Jack was pretty clear then, too. My way or the highway. He considered that almost unforgivable and we went through the whole thing again - Ennis is stubborn and fearful, yada yada, we even had Alma get in on the act, telling Ennis he didn't deserve Jack! So.... I guess what I'm saying is, if Ennis was so awful for being fearful and paranoid - and no one cut him any slack, why is it different when Jack is the one being paranoid? I just don't buy into the idea that it's different somehow. It isn't. But I don't think Jack realizes this.

So, I don't think Jack is doing this purposely - but I do think he has some subconscious resentment lingering, which I guess is natural. And I think Ennis senses this somehow and that makes him fearful of speaking up (Ennis may not be educated in the traditional way - but he's very smart!) I think they both have to get past those kinds of things if they're going to have a chance. They're not equals right now (and I'm not talking about money). And until they can be equals, there are going to be subconscious resentments on both sides - a very bad thing in any relationship. Just mho, anyway!

Thanks,
Marie

Wow, Marie. This is some insightful post. And so well said. I agree with everything you've said.

frantic65 · « **Reply #38 on:** November 05, 2007, 07:29:52 pm »

Thanks Marie-that all makes perfect sense now & I think you are dead right. ok-now I need a new chapter!!

mariez · « **Reply #39 on:** November 10, 2007, 05:47:40 pm »

Update! Chapter 52:

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1638719.html?#cutid1

SPOILERS

A very sweet and funny chapter, and the beginnings of some nice communication between the boys. But the real world awaits. I hope Alma agrees to let the girls go with Ennis to Kansas for Thanksgiving, and Bobby and Jack coming up to Ennis's for Christmas should be very interesting .......

And Arnie the alligator cracked me up! LOL!

Marie

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #40 on:** November 10, 2007, 09:59:43 pm »

Yeehaw! Off to read... and I'm not reading your spoilers yet!

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #41 on:** November 13, 2007, 09:31:57 pm »

Another update!

Here's Chapter 53!

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1651280.html#cutid1

mariez · « **Reply #42 on:** November 19, 2007, 01:57:15 pm »

And Chapter 54 is up, too! Love the fast updates:

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1665067.html?view=15657515

SPOILERS

I'm glad Ennis and Jenny cleared the air. And I love how Jack and Ennis can be a support system to each other regarding these parenting issues. But, as Jack pointed out, it's a lot easier to give advice than to deal with your own issues - and we still have a lot of Bobby issues to deal with. I wonder if and how they will manifest themselves during the Thanksgiving trip. Should be very interesting!

Marie

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #43 on:** November 19, 2007, 04:23:39 pm »

**Spoilers**

I thought the conversation between Ennis and Jenny was fantastic! And, it is true that this story is interesting in how much it revolves around Ennis and Jack's roles as fathers... and how they're growing more and more comfortable supporting one another in their efforts to be good Dads.

I agree that the upcoming Thanksgiving and trip will be really great!

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #44 on:** December 14, 2007, 01:27:56 am »

A two-part update!

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/1744132.html#cutid1

RouxB · « **Reply #45 on:** December 15, 2007, 12:25:59 am »

I always feel so good after reading a chapter of this story-even when it is angsty. I like the portrayal of Ennis-he has his fears and weirdnesses but he is verbal and emotionally generous which makes it easy to understand why Jack loves him. In some stories he written as such a dick it doesn't make any kind of sense why anyone would care about him much less hang around for 20 years.

cwby30 · « **Reply #46 on:** July 01, 2008, 07:46:56 pm »

Afternoon.

Just a 'bump' on this great story. Chapter 98 is up, and it's a doozie!! The link is below, but recommend that you back up and read the previous chapters first.

http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/2236013.html#cutid1

Thanks again.

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #47 on:** July 01, 2008, 08:51:55 pm »

Thanks Bud.

I still read this story regularly, but it's been quite a while since I've posted in this thread. It really is a good story. It's amazing how long it's become! But, I always look forward to it.

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #48 on:** July 01, 2008, 11:34:19 pm »

Wow!!! That was quite a dramatic update! I just finished reading it. I definitely didn't see that turn of events coming!

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #49 on:** April 12, 2009, 12:13:14 pm »

Bumping because this story has come up as a topic of discussion again recently in the General Recommendations thread!

Brown Eyes · « **Reply #50 on:** April 23, 2009, 01:01:22 pm »

Another new "vignette" (number 31) was just posted for this epic story recently! Of course, this is on top of the 100+ chapters of the main story. I really wonder how long this story is in terms of page numbers at this point. Really impressive.

http://nosunlight.livejournal.com/46802.html

News:

Author Topic: Can't Stand It - by nosunlight (Read 21691 times)