Sunday's Messages

[Daniel]

I know that I have already posted some spiritual material on this board, in my effort to reveal that Brokeback Mountain continues to remain a force of spiritual manifestation in our everyday lives, and that we can continue to experience benefit by understanding that fact.  Meditations, Spiritual Nonsense amd other threads which have since sunk into the lower depths of this board have all attempted to bring the spiritual focus to the forefront.

In many ways, this is what Brokeback Mountain did for me. It brought the realm of the spirit, the mind, and the heart that much closer to my perceptions and I could grasp their intensity and their infinite depth of meaning.  Sometimes I have felt very alone in this understanding, and I wonder why no one has been able (or perhaps willing) to address the same things that I have seen. If that sounds selfish or self-absorbed, I apologize.... My thoughts are my own, though... and although I would not expect everyone to have the same thoughts as myself, I feel very lonely and sometimes depressed when no one near me seems to understand me, let alone experience any spiritual understanding when I feel as though I am revealing the heart of the universe.

It is not so difficult for me to imagine myself, in one way, as a mad prophet who sees truths that no one else can perceive. I am the lone voice in the wilderness, the caller in the crowd. But my words sometimes seem to fall on deaf ears, although those who had ears to hear I am extremely grateful for your friendship and acquaintance.  I realize this preamble is quite long, but it is somewhat necessary I think.

As beautiful as it is to wonder about the many ramifications of the film, without an understanding of how to spiritually apply that knowledge in our lives, I feel that we are merely scratching the surface. It has long been my intention to introduce a radio program to Radio BBM that could air once a week to help aid our spiritual development and maturation, and our greater understandings of the metaphysical realities laid out in the film. No teacher in Brokeback Mountain led us by the hand to experience, remember, and recall the ultimate reality of the Universe.... but perhaps that is because the true searcher must discover this for himself. I am not even saying that the film is the only way to experience this type of reflection of infinity, the crystalization of all, the seed at the core of the heart of man, but merely one of many.... But my voice is imperfect and ill-suited for such a program, I think, and I would not wish the ill effects of my rasping, lisping syllables to scratch your sensitivities.

Nevertheless, this idea has been growing in my mind, and I feel it almost necessary to do what I can to make this message clear. And to be clear, I do not think I have the ideal plan for man firmly in my mind, nor any other such monstrosity. I am merely saying what I feel called to say, and expect no one to hearken to these words too deeply. It is offered with all of the simplicity, love, hope, and beauty that I can muster and if one of you is touched by it, then let it fill your life with the light of truth, so that you may shine freely in the presence of others.  This has always been my most fervent of prayers. I know that some people think that I think I am special, that I have a special purpose or a destiny on this planet, and this is not necessarily my truth. What I have been called to tell you is that we are all special, and that we all have a special purpose or a destiny. It is me, but not merely me. The Cosmos is the union of all spirits, whose perfect imperfections have clarified the mind's eye. The mote that floats before us endangers all eyes, and sometimes our own fallibilities are the very weaknesses we need to recognize what we most need to do next.

So as an introduction to this thread, I would like to present my thanks for the opportunities that both the film and this community have provided for my own spiritual and personal growth... my life is significantly better than it was, my eye more clear, the mirror no longer tarnished but cleansed of sooty residue.  If my language is too symbolic, I apologize; it is the only way that I can express myself as I most need to be expressed. And if we have learned nothing else from the film of Brokeback Mountain, I hope it is to listen to our hearts' own calling and respond to it, even when it would not make sense to do so.

Parts of this thread are excerpts from Caterina Rando's Learn to Power Think: A Practical Guide to Positive and Effective Decision Making.

[Daniel]

Shuffling in the Gravel

Nothing reflects your quality of life more than your thinking. Every waking moment the thoughts keep on coming, no matter what else you are doing. Thinking - the way your mind responds to the world - shapes your beliefs and makes you decide how to act, or not to act. What you think can also feed your fears and fill you with reasons for not making the changes you desire.

The first thing it is important for you to do is break any bad habits of thinking you might have at the moment. It is time to think differently, to think about what is possible, to expand your mind, and then to transform your life.

We begin by looking at how you think now, and building on it. This is the key to determining what course to follow in the future. The more awareness you have about your thinking, the easier it will be for you to turn around that thinking so that it will serve you and your dreams for life. You can't reach the stars if you are holding on top the railing.

Before their fateful meeting with one another, Jack and Ennis lived very separate lives. Ennis resigned and resolved to the daily fate he had faced since the death of his parents, perhaps. Jack a little more carefree, but still a mental product of his life. Both had habits of being and thinking which in some ways drove them to their natural desires, and in other ways drove them away from them. Perhaps their self perception had been narrowed by the lack of choices available to them before this point. In any case, as Ennis and Jack stood apart and contemplated their own existences, it is perhaps with a firm knowledge of who they were and where they had come from... perhaps even a limited self perception that was uncertain or unready to incorporate the other.

A narrow self perception limits our thinking, our actions, and our life. It makes us think that some things are so definitely beyond our reach that we shouldn't even try to grab them.

We expect to do well in certain situations but miserably in others. Have you ever refused to sing, even among friends, because you thought you would makde a fool of yourself as the notes came out all wrong? Declined a chance to go horse riding, because you didn't see yourself staying on the saddle for more than a few moments? Balked from giving a speech on some special occasion, because you felt a hurricane of butterflies in your stomach at the very thought of it?

Like Jack and Ennis in the first fateful moments of encounter, we often have a tendency to stand in one place..... uncertain of what we want, uncertain of how to get there, uncertain of where we are... The very first basic spiritual or mental acknowledgement is to know where we stand. Once we have that full knowledge in hand, then we can begin to understand how to move from one place, rather than simply shuffling our boots in the gravel.

[Daniel]

Sprouting painfully

Aside from what we think, our personal submersion beneath and into the gravel around us, we also have deep roots which enliven and define much of the way we think. This perspective influences our thoughts, opinions, choices, actions, and ability to make changes.

The very first words of the film are spoken by neither Jack nor Ennis, but by a third character introduced disturbingly. As we are waiting for something to occur, waiting to create something out of nothing, we must deal with the mental and spiritual invasion of the "real world", a world outside our influence. How we respond to this invasion determines much of our reality. With Aguirre present in the trailer, we now have the basic architectural form. A triangle. Within this triangle is the interaction between three root perspectives: the idealist, the stoic, and the realist.

The idealist has faith that things can happen just by believing they can happen. They see the world as a good place, and they are convinced that they can make a contribution to the planet and the lives they touch. However, Idealists tend to believe what they are told and may easily be taken advantage of. They can act before asking questions and gathering all the facts or considering the consequences. They are big dreamers, sometimes too big - meaning that they hope that things will happen rather than having to make them happen. They often stay in unappealing situations for too long because they believe that "things will work out". The idealist has the challenges of asking more questions, examining feelings and pausing more often to consider possible outcomes of actions and beliefs, and thinking about opportunities before seizing them.

The stoic shows fortitude but neither perceives nor expresses much emotion. Their feelings are difficult to read and generally perceived as "strong, silent" types. However, other people find it difficult to hard to know them or get close to them. The stoic has the challenges of seeking to be more aware of his feelings and developing ways to express them. The stoic also needs to observe the positive effects of reaching out to others emotionally.

The realist sugar coats nothing. He is persuaded by facts and evidence rather than by hypothetical visions or emotional pleas. Realists prefer to be sure of success before they take action. They do not act on faith or work things out as they go along, limiting their openness to opportunities. The realists faces the challenges of willing to act without trying to predict to the last detail how things will go and allowing themselves to be surprised.

Other root perspectives include the pragmatist, the questioner, the visionary, and the dissenter, who face their own difficulties and challenges in response to the world around them.

The greatest desire that any person comes into contact with in any conflict with the real world is not to change. Overcoming that desire and embracing the challenges that would enable him or her to defeat the difficulties of their traditional lives is part of the spiritual and psychological transformation at the root of Brokeback Mountain and is the basis of an ever-expanding reality.

[moremojo]

Thanks for all these great insights, Daniel. When I was breakfasting with Karen yesterday, we were discussing what exactly it was about this film that created such a hold, such an overwhelming emotional effect on us, and I returned to the feeling that the root of it all is spiritual in nature--this has been a spiritual experience for many of us, even those who wouldn't necessarily define it in those terms. I think the story taps into an archetypal level of reality (which you support by your invocation of different 'types', such as idealist, stoic, and so on), and thus speaks directly to a core component of our subconscious. The impulse for these subconscious recognitions to rise to consciousness constitutes, I think, so much of our continuing grappling for meaning and understanding for this phenomenon. There is a certainly a great gift here for those receptive to it, and we are still just beginning to realize all the latent implications of this gift.

I hope you do not think it inopportune of me to cite here on this Sunday morning a Saturday message of mine, which I was remembering while driving out to the gay rodeo yesterday, with our friend Eric following me: Love is always welcome. It is always appropriate to respond with love to any given situation; it is never inappropriate to respond with love, no matter what the situation may be. As love wears many different faces, it is one of our ongoing challenges to understand what form of love may or may not be fitting for any particular set of circumstances, but sincere love freely given and received is always a blessing and a spiritual attainment of the highest order. This truth has the power to transform our world and ourselves.

[LauraGigs]

I really love this thread, Daniel. 

I feel like Ennis after he's given the bag with the shirts...  "Thanks for this!"

[Daniel]

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Any unhappiness or the occasional feeling of being "stuck" in our lives often come from an underlying belief that it is somehow not good or right to want what we want, and especially to want more than we have. We think that we should not have strong desires. Pay attention when you hear yourself say "should". This word implies judgment. When you tell yourself you should buy new clothes, clean your kitchen, go to that party, or ask someone over for dinner, it is as if you are responding to what you think is expected of you by society, your parents, your partner, or some other entity, real or imagined.

The first encounters of Brokeback Mountain reveal Aguirre giving rules of expectation and behavior to Jack and Ennis. But Ennis and Jack had previously arrived with their own rules, their own upbringing, their own past as the basis for what behaviors are "good" and "acceptable" This belief that we shouold do certain things and not others is shaped by our birth, upbringing, and environment. Other people have moulded our sense of what is right and what is wrong. It is from our parents that we learn that we shouldn't walk on the carpet in our muddy shows. It is from observing the customs of society in general that we learn to tip in a restaurant, to say "hello" when introduced.

But much of the American western ideal, part of the process that allows survival in a harsh and rugged landscape, is based in individualism. An important step in the process from a mundane state to a spiritually active state is the decision that you will live your life according to your own standards, not those of other people - although the two will probably coincide to some extent. If you buy something from a store, you are free to try it out and return it (unless you bought it from Target or Wal-Mart) if it does not work for you at home. Similarly, you have the right to test the standards you have acquired from other people, including your parents, since childhood.

The next time you think "I really should do this" or "Oh, I can't do that....", pause and ask yourself "Why should I?" or "Why not?" Sometimes the answers will be clear, but other times less so. It is obvious why you do not walk on a carpet with muddy shoes, because this means someone - and there is a good chance it will be you - has to spend time, energy, and maybe money to clean or even replace the carpet. But what is the reason that you shouldn't talk to your boss as an equal? Why shouldn't you remind him of the good work that you have done recently in your job? Why shouldn't you ask him for a raise? It is very unlikely that your answer to these questions will be "Because he will get angry and shout at me and maybe threaten to fire me." Even if this did happen, remember that you have the right to ask another question: "Why should I work for someone like that?"

The point I am trying to make, people, is that Jack and Ennis, even though they had been raised to believe and think in one way, even though they were told to do something, felt it was important to challenge themselves and their socially-bound existence by thinking about, considering, and trying new things and new experiences that society had already labeled. In their very first moments of encounter, their existence was partially defined by a preconscious awareness of each other. In this later scenes this preconscious awareness included on more than one occasion a type of mutual admiration and sexual attraction that most likely went against everything they had ever been taught to them.

If Jack and Ennis can challenge social standards, their own parents and society's binding laws and mores, then why can't we? If you want something that feels right for you and does not harm or upset anyone else, then go for it. Believe that you are the author of your own future. If there are things in your life that you are not totally happy about, you are free to look for ways to change them. It is OK to want what you want. Now choose to go get it.

[Daniel]

I cannot think of a message today... so I will respectfully bow out of the picture and let someone else take the podium if they like.

[Artiste]

Most gay men feel like you do... it seems to me Daniel.

I know that I do. Somehow, each one of us must try to reach to another gay man.
That can be done in many wondrous ways. And maybe such could be mentionned here by us all.

I remember my past partner/lover/pal (now deceased) nearly everyday. At first, it was i who repeated my efforts to get to know him, but I know that he did not and, I got from him eventually that I was what he needed! That was a happy surprise!

And now, I am lost again. I am trying to find another buddy. How? Any ways you and others can suggest??

Hugs!!

[Daniel]

Looking Back and Moving Forward

I do not think it is a mere coincidence that Jack and Ennis, as part of their second encounter, looked back at their own pasts, as a way of describing where they had come from. Jack described his relationship with his father, to some extent, and allowed Ennis a glimpse into his personal life. Ennis described the events that fundamentally changed his relationships with his family.  But in addition to their parental or familial imprinting, both Ennis and Jack had their own ancestral imprinting - the specific models of the Western ideal, for example, as continual reminders of their requirements.

But what does that mean for us? How can we learn from this look into the past?

These ideas, passed down by words, by example, and by psychic energy are imprinting. Imprinting is when outside influences have printed their ideas onto your mind like a spilled glass of red wine on a white tablecloth. You can wash it over and over and it will fade, although a trace of the wine will always remain, forever part of the cloth. Consider your ancestral imprinting. Does your family descend from factory-workers or farmers, slaves or soldiers, bankers or bakers? Ask yourself which aspects of your character and beliefs might be inherited from your forebears. This exercise is a useful kind of self analysis that gets you starting to think about who you are, where you come from, and what makes you different.

Aside from ancestral imprinting, there are other kinds. Parental imprinting often reinforces ancestral imprinting; but, of course, most of us know more about our parents' lives then we could ever discover about our grandparents'. If you saw your parents fighting all the time, you might absorb the idea that marriage and relationships are hurtful. If your father was over-anxious, or your mother domineering, these things too enter your mindscape as you live.

Gender imprinting - the messages you have received about relations between the sexes - is also very influential. Other factors at work on us include our schooling (maybe even individual teachers), our friends, our work, our accidental encounters with people, ideas, and places. Such things colour our perspective, how we see the world, where we are coming from.

The phrase where we are coming from os am important one. It means precisely what it says: where you have come from, your past up to now. You are not your imprinting. After uncovering the prevalent perspectives that have imprinted themselves on you, for your highest good you can either embrace them or reject them.

For example, while sensing something of the Puritan in your perspective, you might resolve to shun austerity and take a more liberal view of duty, marriage, and pleasure. It is not exactly that the Puritan is inhabiting you, like a lodger you cannot evict. Puritanism is merely a set of attitudes to which you have immediate access. These might frame themselves automatically in response to certain situations. But they are not the attitudes you must live by. If you feell reluctant to obey some imprinted rallying call inside your head, surely that's a good reason to act differently. If you know where that voice is coming from you are less likely to make the mistake of automatically assuming that it will lead you to fulfillment. Find yourself, listen to your true inner voice, and move forward in response to its promptings.

[Artiste]

And?

Hugs!