Jack, I read this yesterday and found myself thinking about it in the middle of the night. You remind me so much of, well, of me. I am so not a group sort of person. I am good with people one on one, having a "real" conversation (as opposed to small talk), but even then, only when I am in the right frame of mind. So many times I choose to hide out because it is simply easier and less stressful. It is true, though, at least for me, that the level of stress I experience from social interaction has a lot to do with the other person and also with the situation.
What Jess said makes a lot of sense too. Life is constant change, and we are dynamic beings. What holds true for us at one juncture may not always remain so. You found the answers for yourself when you needed them, but now there may be new answers. As we grow, our needs change, and our understanding of what those needs are and how to fill them has to catch up.
I like that you spend time thinking about these things. It helps to know that I am not the only one.
Thanks for writing this. It is good to know that I remind someone of themselves. I'm not sure if that is good, but for the sake of argument we will just say it is
I think a lot of it really has to do with the group or the individual you happen to be around. On the Wyoming trip I was comfortable with the group, especially the group that I developed a niche with. That happened to be the so called "party group" and I felt a belonging with them. Actually we weren't nearly as wild as it sounds. We were simply the ones that liked to stay up late, talk, and have a few drinks. So I guess we were noisy too. In addition to that I found a really good friend on the trip that I really enjoyed hanging out with, talking to, and as you say having "real" conversations. We were on the same wavelength which for me very rarely happens. It was rather surprising that I was actually having fun doing things with this new friend instead of running the other way. So yes I think you are right it all does depend on the situation and the other person or people.
One thing I decided and made sure of on this trip was that I would not do anything that made me feel uncomfortable and that I would stick up for myself at all costs. I decided that if I could not do that then I definitely should not go. It had to be firmly planted in my mind that this was my vacation, my money, and my time. There were times that I had to plain flat out say no to things I did not want or that seemed stupid to me. I know that some people saw me as being much different than the year before where I was agreeable to every suggestion. For some reason I had felt obliged in some weird way the year before. I probably did not come across as being as nice as I was before, but that was ok with me. I actually was. I was just intent to be in charge of my destiny.
Yes, I am a thinker. Sometimes I'm too much of a thinker, but I guess that is part of me. I think new answers do come along and those should be paid attention to. There can be harm in just remaining with the same old answers just because you are used to them. Being open to life changes is where growth as a person can happen. Following the same old road just cause you know where it goes can take all the adventure out of the one life you have to live.
Topic: Jack's Ramblings (Read 831094 times)