Author Topic: The Politics of Dancing  (Read 13402 times)

Offline ednbarby

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The Politics of Dancing
« on: May 17, 2006, 08:45:50 pm »
As requested/instigated by JennyC...

Here is a thread where we can post political humor and/or commentary in all its various forms.  That means that if you have a joke you'd like to share, or an email that's making the rounds, or an article you came across that you think is of interest politically, run wild, run free.

To get the ball rolling, here's one I've particularly liked in recent times:

Bush and Cheney are having a current events briefing.  The White House staffer who reads them their morning headlines recites the following:  "Two Brazilian Soldiers Killed."  To his and Cheney's surprise, Bush goes all white in the face and becomes noticably agitated.  "What is it, George?" asks Dick.  Bush says, "How many, exactly, is a brazillion?"
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Offline Ray

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2006, 08:47:47 pm »
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah..........
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slayers_creek_oth

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2006, 10:00:19 pm »
Bush and Cheney are having a current events briefing.  The White House staffer who reads them their morning headlines recites the following:  "Two Brazilian Soldiers Killed."  To his and Cheney's surprise, Bush goes all white in the face and becomes noticably agitated.  "What is it, George?" asks Dick.  Bush says, "How many, exactly, is a brazillion?"

 :laugh:

Offline JennyC

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2006, 10:12:03 pm »
Thanks Barb, feel so honored ;)

Hope this one is not too mean.


Offline JennyC

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2006, 10:14:42 pm »
And it's only fair if the humor goes both ways...

Again hope this one is not too mean.


slayers_creek_oth

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2006, 10:17:26 pm »
Democrat/Republican Loyalty Quiz - 10 questions that test your loyalty to your party and its principles.....but they're funny!  I did both for shits and giggles.....

Democrat -  Here! - I got 3/10 - obviously not a Democrat

Republican -  Here! - I got 7/10 - *runs and hides*

*You are a solid Republican. You are not as fiercely ideological or uncompromising as others in the party, but nonetheless remain a reliable supporter. If you could have your way, you'd like to see Republican leaders take a slightly more pragmatic approach on certain issues – and dial down some of their nakedly partisan and bitterly divisive rhetoric
« Last Edit: May 18, 2006, 01:20:01 am by christopher_SLAYERS »

slayers_creek_oth

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2006, 10:18:18 pm »
Thanks Barb, feel so honored ;)

Hope this one is not too mean.



ROFL....no way thats real.....is it?

Offline JennyC

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2006, 10:31:45 pm »
Well Chris,

I took a similar quiz on the same website, but for political cartoon, and here is my political profile based on that website.  I bet they have a set of profiles based on score, not really on each specific topic. Accuracy is not guaranteed, but what the heck :)

You are a moderate Democrat. You agree with Democrats more often than not, but have misgivings about some of their positions on key social issues, as well as their ability to defend the country. You remain supportive for now, but if Democrats keep moving to the left and taking their cues from people like Michael Moore, you may decide to jump ship.

 :-\

Offline ednbarby

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2006, 12:01:03 am »
Well...  I got a 10 out of 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 of how much of a Democrat I am and a 0 out of 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 of how much of a Republican I am.  And here's the blurbiage on that latter one:

Your score is 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a pure, unabashed, die-hard Democratic loyalist. You are appalled by the way Republicans are transforming America into a theocratic, corpo-fascist police state, and you'd walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit if it meant casting a deciding vote for a Democratic president. In your view, there is no higher form of patriotism than defending America against the Republican Party and every intolerant, puritanical, imperialistic greed-mongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which it stands.

So...  How do you like me so far?  ;)

(And Chris, I love you anyway.)

« Last Edit: May 18, 2006, 12:03:08 am by ednbarby »
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Offline JennyC

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2006, 12:11:38 am »
So...  How do you like me so far?  ;)

(And Chris, I love you anyway.)

I think we can definitely survive a drive around the city of San Francisco  :laugh:.

Poor Chris, you may be part of the majority in the nation, but I am afraid to say that you probably are the minority here ;D.  Hey, this group, if anything, always support the "underdogs", you are among friends here  :).

Offline RouxB

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2006, 12:25:58 am »
Barby you is my twin sistah from anotha motha!

 O0

Heathen

slayers_creek_oth

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2006, 01:08:51 am »
Poor Chris, you may be part of the majority in the nation, but I am afraid to say that you probably are the minority here ;D.  Hey, this group, if anything, always support the "underdogs", you are among friends here  :).


Awww....thanks guys!   ;D

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2006, 02:26:21 am »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2006, 02:26:47 am »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2006, 02:27:11 am »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2006, 02:27:32 am »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2006, 02:27:57 am »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #17 on: May 18, 2006, 02:29:48 am »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2006, 03:42:45 am »
ON the Democrat test I got.....Your score is 9 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a pure, unabashed, die-hard Democratic loyalist. You are appalled by the way Republicans are turning America into a theocratic, corpo-fascist police state, and you'd gladly walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit to elect a Democratic president. In your view, there is no higher form of patriotism than defending America against the Republican Party and every intolerant, puritanical, imperialistic, greed-mongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which it stands.

On the Republican test I got.....Your score is 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a passionate and unyielding Democrat. You are appalled by the way Republicans are transforming America into a theocratic, corpo-fascist police state, and you'd walk across red America on a bed of red hot coals to elect a Democratic president. In your view, there is no higher form of patriotism than defending America against the Republican Party and every intolerant, puritanical, imperialistic greed-mongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which it stands.

Pretty damn accurate that test

Offline Sheyne

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2006, 06:56:21 am »


LOL...

I'm not American and that is still b. funny...
Chut up!

Offline Pipedream

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #20 on: May 18, 2006, 07:11:53 am »

A legendary cover of the German newsmagazine "Der Spiegel" from 2002 (allegedly G.W. Bush liked it...):



(=The Bush Warriors - America's crusade against evil)

Offline ednbarby

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #21 on: May 18, 2006, 09:48:19 am »
Thanks Barb, feel so honored ;)

Hope this one is not too mean.

Hell, you couldn't imagine one mean enough for my liking.   :D
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Offline ednbarby

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #22 on: May 18, 2006, 09:51:17 am »
Barby you is my twin sistah from anotha motha!

 O0

Amen, sistah!  And I'm still loving the "you'd walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit..." bit.   ;D
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Offline isabelle

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #23 on: May 18, 2006, 11:58:00 am »
 According to the poll, I got a 10 out of 10 and am a "pure, unabashed, die-hard democratic loyalist". I'd say I'm even more to the left than that  ;D
But what's all that about France and the French in the questions??
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Offline j.U.d.E.

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2006, 12:33:40 pm »
According to the poll, I got a 10 out of 10 and am a "pure, unabashed, die-hard democratic loyalist". I'd say I'm even more to the left than that  ;D
But what's all that about France and the French in the questions??
Same here Isabelle! 10 out of 10. And same question about the France/French questions..  ::)

I like the 'question': "In a perfect World, America would be - France"... (or something to that effect).

Got 0 for the Republican Loyalty Quiz! Yey! --> "Your score is 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a pure, unabashed, die-hard Democratic loyalist. [ ...]."

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« Last Edit: May 18, 2006, 12:39:00 pm by JudeW »
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Offline JennyC

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2006, 03:41:05 pm »
For those of you who enjoy a few punchlines toward you-know-who by the comedians or talk show hosts, who do you think is the harshest when it comes to criticize or make fun of him?

My Vote is for Bill Maher

Watched his show sporadically.  5/12’s show was hilarious and boldest that I have seen for a while in terms of the subject matter here.  Following is part of the transcript:


And finally, New Rule: George Bush has to stop laughing at himself. When you're incompetence literally costs lives, giggling at it isn't cute or funny. You know, there's a guy who's been running around the country pretending he's the president, and I believe his name is George Bush. And he wants everyone to know that he doesn't take himself too seriously. Which is working out great, because now nobody else in the world does either.

You know, if the Republicans really want to joke around, I've got one for you. Knock, knock.

AUDIENCE: Who's there?

MAHER: Hillary. Now, this is our last show of the season, and I'm rather proud that we've gone all 13 weeks without once making George Bush the subject of our show-ending editorial. Because I didn't want to start sounding like a broken record. Or, to you kids, a degraded MP3 file. Oh, there may have been a stray George Bush punchline here and there. But, come on. I am a comedian and he is a retard.

But, f*** it, this is our, this is our last show. This is our last show for a while and I just want to say that when we come back on August 25th, the week of Bill Clinton's 60th birthday, and a great time for him to do the show. Wouldn't you love to see him do the show, folks? Bill Clinton, everywhere I go. So, your move, Mr. President. But when we come back, I hope we're only months away from the beginning of impeachment proceedings.

But, wait. But not for what you think. Now, of course there is a laundry list of valid reasons for impeaching this president. But George Bush and his nest of vipers don't deserve to be impeached with dignity for transgressions involving lofty affairs of state. They deserve the far worse state that Clinton got: being impeached for absolutely nothing at all!

And that's why I want to impeach Bush over the fact that he lied about that fish! He said he caught a perch twice as large as any perch that's ever been caught! And that's a lie about a fish! In a time of war! And if he will lie about a fish, then...something, something, something, what do we tell the children? What do we tell Mrs. Paul?! That perch was as American as a McDonald's fish sandwich. Assuming for the sake of argument that a McDonald's fish sandwich contained fish.

So, Mr. President, don't laugh at yourself, because breaking the law is not cute. Having Americans torture people isn't adorable. Leaving poor people to drown wasn't enchanting. And WMD's wasn't a shaggy dog story. So, I'll make a deal with you. We won't impeach you if you just stay on your estate — I mean "ranch" — and fish on your man-made lake. For perch. Maybe you'll beat your own record.

But, for the next three years, just don't touch anything. I was wrong when I criticized you for taking too much vacation time. It couldn't be more the reverse. Take all the "me" days you want. But if you get any big ideas and try to do something, you know, like go to Mars or put the Ten Commandments on the flag, or turn the ports over to the Amish, then we're going to have to put you in the only place we can be sure we can be safe from you. And it looks like this. [photo shown of David Blaine's water-filled Plexiglas globe]

« Last Edit: May 18, 2006, 04:05:40 pm by JennyC »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2006, 10:39:18 pm »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2006, 10:40:27 pm »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #28 on: May 18, 2006, 10:40:50 pm »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #29 on: May 18, 2006, 10:41:11 pm »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #30 on: May 18, 2006, 10:41:35 pm »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #31 on: May 18, 2006, 10:41:56 pm »

vkm91941

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #32 on: May 18, 2006, 10:42:16 pm »

Offline j.U.d.E.

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #33 on: May 19, 2006, 06:53:48 am »

Victoria, that hurts! I worked for the UN for 6 months once. It's a game of powers, I tell you! Very sad.

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Offline ednbarby

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #34 on: May 24, 2006, 11:04:45 am »
Some New Rules from Bill Maher:

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
 
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
 
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
 
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket — water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
 
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
 
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.
 
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
 
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
 
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
 
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
 
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
 
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
 
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

No more beans!

Offline isabelle

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #35 on: May 24, 2006, 12:27:45 pm »
  :laugh: :laugh:   Ednbarby, this is genius! If YOU just made it up, then you know what you are!
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Offline ednbarby

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #36 on: May 24, 2006, 12:57:09 pm »
  :laugh: :laugh:   Ednbarby, this is genius! If YOU just made it up, then you know what you are!

I wish I could say I did, but it was Bill Maher.  I don't exactly like him - he's got a mean streak and is more than a little bit homophobic in my estimation - but he does make some brilliant observations from time to time.  And I give him snaps for being utterly fearless of coming off tactless.
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Offline isabelle

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #37 on: May 24, 2006, 01:25:09 pm »
Oops, yes, silly me, hadn't seen (probably because I haven't heard of him). Still, thanks for posting this!
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Offline JennyC

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Re: The Politics of Dancing
« Reply #38 on: May 24, 2006, 01:42:52 pm »
I wish I could say I did, but it was Bill Maher.  I don't exactly like him - he's got a mean streak and is more than a little bit homophobic in my estimation - but he does make some brilliant observations from time to time.  And I give him snaps for being utterly fearless of coming off tactless.

:)

Same here.  Some of his comments just made my jaw drop on the floor.  Sometime I can not believe he said what he said knowing that everyone is going to jump on his comments.  Other times, I do appreciate his bluntness and fearless.  It takes someone like him to say the unspeakable at the time when people tend to just keep their mouth shut (thinking a specific event here  ;)).