That's a simple one.
there was a gap between reality and what he believed to be reality and he knew it
Brokeback Jack you are
exactly correct. Ennis was aware of his own need for an alternate reality, and allowed it to occasionally "suffuse" his daily life. That also happened to me after Chris died. It ended when I met DL and grew closer to him. For Ennis, it probably lasted the rest of his life.
