First I have to go back to January 2007, me and Lynne and Wayne and RouxB and Wulf in a cabin in West Virginia, in the middle of the night, blood alcohol content already waaaaaay too high, and we pondered just this thing, but I rememory it being along the lines of what are we supposed to do.
The general consensus was that whenever two or more gather in their names, anyone in earshot should know why. As testament to the power of this story. The next morning when we were leaving we signed the cabin guest book and wrote that we had come together and become friends because of Brokeback Mountain, and if the reader had not seen it they should. I have tried to live up to that "Council of Oakwood" agreement. I think I have been more or less successful.
But to the heart of the matter I see it this way (with thanks to Moremojo, whose posts helped me realize this): Each of us, that first time we saw the movie, sitting in the dark, fell in love with Jack and Ennis. We became a silent third party to their affair, we invested in it emotionally, and in that short time, we lost Jack. He was taken from us, and we were unable to console Ennis, so we had to console ourselves.
What has grown from that for me, is a kinship, with the Shepards, the Byrds, the Bousmans, the families the world over who have lost loved ones at the hands of hate. We are called to stand and testify thru our word and our deed to this pain. We are called to represent this story to the world.
The story, I feel is a living force. Annie Proulx herself spoke in her essay that Jack and Ennis became very real to her, something that had never happened to her before. Other writers confirmed for her that this does happen. She, probably the most unlikely of all, labored for months to bring into the world a story that in the beginning she herself could not comprehend. I think about the pain, the agony and emotion that we have all been thru as a group, and I think of this one lone woman who gave birth to Jack and Ennis, how for so long she was all alone with them and what that must have been like.
So for me to be a Brokie is to stand and testify:
*that people of the same sex can love one another.
*that wrongs, no matter how old, should be righted, if at all possible.
*that those who are struggling, should be helped.
*that evil, must in every instance be confronted, with love.
I don't know that I can put it any better than Truman did. I feel much the same way about being a Brokie.
Hello, my name is Lynne and I am a Brokie.
Yes, I self-identify as a Brokie and am out in my real life as one to almost everyone I know. (There are still some evangelical Christian cousins who are unaware, but I have made up my mind to discuss it with them next time I see them.)
I love it when I am able to work
Brokeback Mountain into a conversation with a stranger, to possibly plant a seed that will encourage him or her to rent the movie, with niggle of hope that they will be moved the way I was.
I have given away more copies of the DVD than I can count.
If it comes up in conversation, I tell people I am bisexual. I can almost do it with no hesitation at all now - it gets easier with practice.
I have
dragged taken many real-life friends to see BBM and not once yet has a person 'got' it...the responses are usually 'Good movie' or 'I can see why you like it' and so completely inadequate to my experience it's frustrating.
I can wax poetic about black and white hats, full moons, blue enamel cookware, and scales with the best of them.
My Brokie experience is inextricably tied with being online and finding BetterMost. I'd avoided using computers in a social sense aside from necessary email, but I was so devastated after
Brokeback Mountain that I found myself at IMDB preoccupied with trying to find more information and instead I found other people who were having similar experiences. I can still remember the sense of relief that maybe I wasn't completely losing my mind after all. I have been a member of BetterMost for two years (today!) and feel so fortunate that our community is strong and thriving.
I remember that conversation well, Truman, whine notwithstanding. You have it right, but I also remember an element of feeling like we had somehow been 'called' to be this way - why us? I can't speak for everyone but it did/does still seem to be a mystical event to me with a strong element of responsibility involved.
RouxB signed the guest book in West Virginia with 'He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother'. I looked up the lyrics and it seemed completely appropriate.
The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where,
Who knows when
But I'm strong,
Strong enough to carry him.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
So on we go.
His welfare is my concern.
No burden is he to bear,
We'll get there.
For I know
He would not encumber me at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
If I'm laden at all,
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another.
It's a long, long road
From which there is no return.
While we're on the way to there,
Why not share?
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
He's my brother.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother...
