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Off The Cuff - Chuck's Poems
CellarDweller:
And Feed The Birds
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What day is it today
I wonder
As I sit with my friend
And feed the birds
I look at my clothes
And laugh to myself
All dressed up, Sunday best
And no place to go
Every day we come
My friend and I
And sit at this bench
And feed the birds
Living life at a snail’s pace
And no desire to change it
Truth be told
No desire for much of anything
Polite conversation
And some drags on our cigars
And we share some laughs
And feed the birds
Missing our wives
Who have gone on to God
And left us alone
All we have is each other
So we keep each other company
And lean on each other
Together killing time
And we feed the birds
CellarDweller:
Moving On
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All my life you bought me hell
but now I've grown and wish you well
All my life you made me cry
but now I look up to the sky
All my life you made me doubt
but now I've got it figured out
All my life you gave me pain
but now I've made it through the rain
I took your blows, I took your strife
dealt with all the ways you tried to ruin my life
Now look at me, somebody new
not that tired little loser
who you once abused
I've succeed in many ways
that you will never see
'cause I'm surrounded now by friends
who taught me to love me for me
All my life you gave me fears
beat me down and gave me tears
I'm glad you're not around to see
the person i've turned out to be
Through the sadness I have sailed
all of your attempts have failed
Now I turn, and I move on
and from my memories, you're gone
CellarDweller:
Worth
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Making myself someone new
and now I know just what to do
tired of feeling lost and hollow
change the outside, inside will follow
starting to work on myself
change my physical and mental health
build up energy for the fight
see myself in a new light
I see success, It makes me high
but now I question myself why
why did I wait so damn long
to bring myself where I belong
I spent my life walking around
letting others put me down
let them have their way with me
to the point I could not see
Just how special that I am
Now I know "It's time, to jam"
gonna let myself have fun
spend my time out in the sun
Learn from the old me, it's his time to go
never let anyone hurt you so
look back on your life, from birth
realize just how much you're worth
CellarDweller:
My poem is one I wrote about a year and a half ago.....my mindset has changed since then, and some of the things I mention are not part of my thought pattern anymore, but since I wrote it, and it was what I was thinking at the time, I'm posting it.
Wasting Time
_______________________
Sitting alone by the computer
as the clock ticks by the minutes
I am being kept company
by the refridgerator
as it's moter drones on and on
and I wonder
how much of my life I've wasted
trying to be what others wanted
and not doing what I needed to
to make myself happy
thinking back to childhood memories
of playing house and being a dad
with my friend across the street
imagining what it would be like
to be an adult
Never realizing that
I'd reach 37
and still feel like I don't know
what it should feel like
to be an adult
Sitting here thinking
that I've made so many strides forward
in the past 8 years
but even though I was moving forward
wondering if I haven't moved fast enough
and that I have lost the chance
to find love
and to be a father
The clock ticks, and I realize it's past 1
and I'm sitting here
wondering if writing things down
will help me move on the path faster
or if I'm still wasting time
CellarDweller:
Wasting Time- Chapter 2
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Sitting alone by the computer
as the clock ticks by the minutes
I am being kept company
by the hum of the modem
and the occasional "beep" of my YIM system
while I carry on conversation
and put my thoughts onto my blog
So much has changed since "chapter 1"
and it can be surprising
how what was so important to you before
can seem so insingificant now
and make you question
your thought processes and priorities
I find my feelings of fatherhood to have disappeared
and the appeal of travel taking importance
seeing the world instead of
setting up home
and wanting the freedom to go as I please
without having to worry about the care of a young one
I know I have not missed out on love
had it in my life before
much to my surprise
and I know i will have it again
it will be mine, and I'll hold it with both hands
tight enough not to lose it
but gentle enough not to bruise it.
My writing is taking shape and form
but I still question if it is ready to be seen
and if there is an audience for it
and if I have the talent to put it out there
and the strength to face the rejection that will come
wondering if I should've started this much earlier
instead of at almost 40.
I've accomplished much in the past 2 years
more than I thought was possible
but I feel that a part of me
will never be satisfied with that
and always convinced that
I waste too much time
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