Author Topic: user names  (Read 43086 times)

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: user names
« Reply #80 on: March 13, 2008, 06:51:06 am »
I joined BetterMost for the chat before the trip. I never expected to become an active member .....

:-* :-* :-* And we are all so glad that you did!!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}


I remember that chat, Jack!  :D


And yes, we are indeed darlin  :-*

Offline malina

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Re: user names
« Reply #81 on: March 14, 2008, 01:56:57 pm »
I LOVED reading about everyone's name meanings, and I am fascinated and also feeling a bit retarded! I never really thought about using anything but my own name. Well, when I started going on IMDB, I didn't have a choice, because of ignorance. They automatically give you the name that's on your email account, and I didn't know how to change it. And then I came here, and... well, again, I just never really thought about being anyone different.

It has me wondering, though. I love some of the names people have chosen for themselves - names that are symbolic, or from mythology. I absolutely love it, and I don't know that I could ever do it for myself. In the same way, I could never imagine changing my last name to a 'married' name. What's weird is that I knew that even when I was a little girl, maybe 5 or 6. I remember becoming aware of the fact that women (in those days, almost universally) changed their names when they got married, and I was just very clear in my mind that I never would, because... well, because my name just feels like my name!

And when I think about choosing a username, it kind of feels the same way. And I'm also the same with costumes.. like, Hallowe'en costumes. I will dress theatrically if called upon to dress up, but I'm still 'me'... I've never liked dressing up 'as' anyone, or obscuring my own appearance and taking on that of a character or a historical figure.

so weird!! I just wonder why I'm like that and so many other people don't mind it, or even like it... does it mean that my sense of identity is somehow fragile and I need to keep sort of reminding myself of it? I really don't know!

But, that having been said, I could imagine using other "ma" names as versions of my name, especially if they are the name of someone in my family. Like, I've often thought, if I need a nom de plume, that I would probably use my grandmother's name, Mara. I have also on occasion used my daughter's name, which is similar and also starts with an "Ma".

And I've lately noticed, when I write a story, if I give a female character a name starting with 'M', she's usually a thinly disguised version of me!

Is anyone else weird and inflexible about names like I am? I just have so much admiration for everyone's self-naming capabilities!  :)

Offline elomelo

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Re: user names
« Reply #82 on: March 14, 2008, 02:05:07 pm »
I LOVED reading about everyone's name meanings, and I am fascinated and also feeling a bit retarded! I never really thought about using anything but my own name. Well, when I started going on IMDB, I didn't have a choice, because of ignorance. They automatically give you the name that's on your email account, and I didn't know how to change it. And then I came here, and... well, again, I just never really thought about being anyone different.

It has me wondering, though. I love some of the names people have chosen for themselves - names that are symbolic, or from mythology. I absolutely love it, and I don't know that I could ever do it for myself. In the same way, I could never imagine changing my last name to a 'married' name. What's weird is that I knew that even when I was a little girl, maybe 5 or 6. I remember becoming aware of the fact that women (in those days, almost universally) changed their names when they got married, and I was just very clear in my mind that I never would, because... well, because my name just feels like my name!

And when I think about choosing a username, it kind of feels the same way. And I'm also the same with costumes.. like, Hallowe'en costumes. I will dress theatrically if called upon to dress up, but I'm still 'me'... I've never liked dressing up 'as' anyone, or obscuring my own appearance and taking on that of a character or a historical figure.

so weird!! I just wonder why I'm like that and so many other people don't mind it, or even like it... does it mean that my sense of identity is somehow fragile and I need to keep sort of reminding myself of it? I really don't know!

But, that having been said, I could imagine using other "ma" names as versions of my name, especially if they are the name of someone in my family. Like, I've often thought, if I need a nom de plume, that I would probably use my grandmother's name, Mara. I have also on occasion used my daughter's name, which is similar and also starts with an "Ma".

And I've lately noticed, when I write a story, if I give a female character a name starting with 'M', she's usually a thinly disguised version of me!

Is anyone else weird and inflexible about names like I am? I just have so much admiration for everyone's self-naming capabilities!  :)

Ah, that's so cool! And I'll jump aboard that wagon - my real name is Manar (ha, yes, 'M' too) and the only nickname I've ever come to use is elomelo. It means 'scattered' in Bengali and just speaks volume about me as a person, and my thoughts and well everything about me.

I agree with the "married" name thing. Yeah, okay, so maybe I'm a long way off from getting married but I could never 'take' someone else's name. It seems strange and a social obligation, and besides, to change your name on all those papers!

And don't feel bad about the fragility of your indentity - actually that's a lie right there! To use your real name as your username just shows your confidence and assurance of your own name. Wish I could do that which I won't. Or not at least in the near future.

Besides, Malina is a lovely name. :) What does it mean?

Offline serious crayons

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Re: user names
« Reply #83 on: March 14, 2008, 02:26:06 pm »
I have also on occasion used my daughter's name, which is similar and also starts with an "Ma".

That's interesting, Malina! I have another Brokie friend (I won't say who in case this is more information than she wants widely publicized) whose real name starts with Ma and whose daughter's name is similar and also starts with Ma.

Quote
What's weird is that I knew that even when I was a little girl, maybe 5 or 6. I remember becoming aware of the fact that women (in those days, almost universally) changed their names when they got married, and I was just very clear in my mind that I never would, because... well, because my name just feels like my name!

I was that way, too. Long before married women started keeping their names, I thought it seemed really unfair that they had to adopt their husbands' names. I had a strong sense of parity -- maybe that came from having a brother close to my age. Everything we got always had to be exactly even!  :laugh:

So anyway, now that I'm married I do still have my "own" name.

Just earlier today I was thinking about an old coworker who felt even more strongly about this -- she was so uncomfortable having only her father's last name that she took her mother's, too, and combined them.


Offline malina

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Re: user names
« Reply #84 on: March 14, 2008, 08:51:04 pm »

Besides, Malina is a lovely name. :) What does it mean?

Thank you, elomelo! It means "raspberry" - in Croatian and in just about every Slavic language, I think!

Actually, just to add another bit of weirdness to the name discussion... well, it's a long story, but it's not the name on my birth certificate, and it IS the name on my Canadian citizenship, which I got when I was five, and therefore on my passport and all my other documentation here. And I don't think it was ever changed officially. I think my parents just changed their minds and... I don't know... just figured it wouldn't matter and no one would check? ???

But I think that means that I could 'officially' be two different people if I wanted, albeit in separate countries. Oh, maybe my other name could be my alter-ego. Amalia.

And the other thing.... since I'm rambling on and on about names... well, 'Malina' was the name of my great-grandmother, as well as my aunt, and they both caused family scandals by getting pregnant out of wedlock. And then, when I did the same,  I overheard my mom saying to my dad, "I knew we shouldn't have given her that name!"

The Malina curse.

Or, blessing, which is what my daughter has always been!  :)

Offline Toycoon

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Re: user names
« Reply #85 on: March 14, 2008, 08:55:41 pm »
Howdy Malina-5,
I thought your name had a groovy secret agent quality like Agent 99 or Agent 86. I'm sorry you dropped the "5" when you came to Bettermost.

Toycoon
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Offline malina

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Re: user names
« Reply #86 on: March 14, 2008, 09:01:23 pm »

I was that way, too. Long before married women started keeping their names, I thought it seemed really unfair that they had to adopt their husbands' names. I had a strong sense of parity -- maybe that came from having a brother close to my age. Everything we got always had to be exactly even!  :laugh:

So anyway, now that I'm married I do still have my "own" name.

Just earlier today I was thinking about an old coworker who felt even more strongly about this -- she was so uncomfortable having only her father's last name that she took her mother's, too, and combined them.



Hi Katherine! I know, it always seemed unfair to me too, and just... well, kind of illogical! I think the first time I thought about it, I had heard my grandfather say that our family name was going to die out after the next generation, because his only son, my dad, had only girls, no sons. And I didn't get it at first, and then I did, or maybe I had it explained to me - and that's when I just knew that he was wrong! Something about being told that I "would" change my name, like it was inevitable fact, made me ... well, not determined, but just made me realize that I wouldn't!

I know a couple who each kept their own last names, but then combined them into a single name, not hyphenated, but just a single name, for their kids. Luckily their names were both one syllable and it worked. I also know a couple who, when they got married, made up a totally new surname for themselves and their family. hmm. That is an interesting concept..  ::)

Offline malina

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Re: user names
« Reply #87 on: March 14, 2008, 09:05:24 pm »
Howdy Malina-5,
I thought your name had a groovy secret agent quality like Agent 99 or Agent 86. I'm sorry you dropped the "5" when you came to Bettermost.

Toycoon

Hi Toycoon!! I know you liked my 5! And I think I even considered keeping it just for you! But I didn't choose the 5... IMDB gave it to me, and made me take it! And there is a big part of me that just doesn't relate to numbers, and if I had to be a number, I think I would be a 7, because 5 is just so... I don't know... sort of too simple and too complex at the same time! On the other hand, it did sort of grow on me after a while.. But you can call me malina-5 forever, if you like!

Offline Toycoon

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Re: user names
« Reply #88 on: March 14, 2008, 09:17:22 pm »
Hmmmm... "Malina-5 Forever"? Tres exotique!
"The most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it." - Cesar Romero

Offline serious crayons

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Re: user names
« Reply #89 on: March 14, 2008, 09:45:02 pm »
Hi Katherine!

Hi yourself!  :)

Quote
I had heard my grandfather say that our family name was going to die out after the next generation, because his only son, my dad, had only girls, no sons. And I didn't get it at first, and then I did, or maybe I had it explained to me - and that's when I just knew that he was wrong! Something about being told that I "would" change my name, like it was inevitable fact, made me ... well, not determined, but just made me realize that I wouldn't!

So I'm wondering, did this make your grandfather happy? I hope so. But something tells me that for a lot of people of that generation, this wouldn't really "count." Because in much of Western culture, we're so used to linking family lineage/surname/male heir. So a grandfather (not yours necessarily, as I don't know him) might think, "OK, fine for Malina to keep the name, this funny feminist trend will extend it for one more generation, but then her daughter will change hers, and that's the end of that." And to some extent, grandfathers who that way may be right (again, I mean generally) because I think the pendulum toward keeping "maiden" names is somewhat swinging back.

Quote
I know a couple who each kept their own last names, but then combined them into a single name, not hyphenated, but just a single name, for their kids. Luckily their names were both one syllable and it worked. I also know a couple who, when they got married, made up a totally new surname for themselves and their family. hmm. That is an interesting concept..  ::)

When my husband and I had kids, we talked about the possibility of using my last name for daughters, and his last name for sons. Turned out we had two sons, so we didn't have to test the cultural norms. But the daughters idea began to seem stressful. At one point I had someone instruct me absolutely not to do this son/daughter name thing -- the editor of my paper, a man I didn't even know that well! -- because it would "be too confusing for the kids." Like, the kids would instantly get it if the mother has a different name from everyone else in the family (as was the case in this particular guy's own family), but they're completely lost if there's any other arrangement. Like they'd automatically assume a sister with a different last name must have a different dad or something.

To tell the truth, I sometimes find it odd that in my family has the same last name except me.