I think that without it, I would have said "When a man and a woman love each other very much..." whereas now I'll say, "When two people love each other very much..."
Sorry to be coming from so far behind in this wonderful conversation -
I also do this, and we are lucky because Miranda has models in her life of various families - her friend Cristina lives with her two moms (one gave birth to her, one adopted her) (or did until they just broke up, sigh), Danielle lives with her (adoptive) mom and doesn't have a dad, Chantelle lives with her Aunt Bonnie, Darcy lives with her dad and stepmother and sees her mom a couple of times a month.
Miranda herself grew inside Tanya. Papa and I were at her birth, and she is our daughter. So from the beginning of her life I've been saying "When a baby grows inside a woman...," rather than "inside her mommy," because Miranda herself didn't grow inside me.
My main goal is to normalize, normalize. She doesn't know that any of those varieties of families are unusual (and in fact, they're not). And as to ethnicity and people looking different than her, I haven't brought it up at all, curious when she will. So far, she has never mentioned her various friends' and classmates' varieties of skin or hair color.
She
does love to talk about wheeelchairs, walkers, canes. That's the only physical attribute she has commented on so far. And I thank God that the first person in a wheelchair she (suddenly) asked directly, "Why are you in that wheelchair?" was a kind, understanding woman who told her that her legs got sick and stopped working. It's tricky to know how much to teach her to censor herself - I love her sincerity. The one day I was truly embarrassed was when Miranda was talking to a woman who was quite old, and suddenly said in a very friendly, fascinated way, "You have fur on your face." The woman looked puzzled, I said a quick goodbye and took Miranda outside, and agreed that that woman did indeed have hair on her face that looked like fur, but that it's nicer not to tell the woman about it. I don't think I did a good job. Because actually, a lot of women would actually have a lot more hair showing if they didn't remove it. This parenting thing, I love it, and it's occasionally tricky.
BTW - What is MILF (I am nearly 47, am I old enought to know)?
Some of Miranda's imagginary friends and personae - Baby Griffin, VahVah, Bingo, Big Girl Montana, The Big Sister, Bahm Bahm, JoJo, and my personally favorite name, Hallelujah (which comes from the fact that she LOVES the version of "Battle Hymn of the Republic (Glory, Glory, Hallelujah)" that I added to my version of the BBM soundtrack, because the band plays it at the Fourth of July event that Ennis and family go to).
Sarah - there is a well-known (in adoption circles) article about talking to a child about their adoption with a title I love: "Moses, Jesus, Superman, and Me."