Author Topic: The stages of grief  (Read 12209 times)

Offline RouxB

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The stages of grief
« on: May 01, 2008, 10:33:39 pm »
It's been three months now and based on the traffic here, the grief seems to be passing. My own emotion still varies from day-to-day. On the days that I don't have a sad moment, I think "okay, I seem be getting over the tears" and then something will happen and I will be intensely sad once again. I've had two tear free days in a row so once again suspect that the everyday sad moments may be gone. With TDK coming out in a couple of months I'm sure melancholy will move in. I just how much of him we would be getting right now if only...

Heathen

Offline Meryl

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2008, 10:51:42 pm »
It's been three months now and based on the traffic here, the grief seems to be passing. My own emotion still varies from day-to-day. On the days that I don't have a sad moment, I think "okay, I seem be getting over the tears" and then something will happen and I will be intensely sad once again. I've had two tear free days in a row so once again suspect that the everyday sad moments may be gone. With TDK coming out in a couple of months I'm sure melancholy will move in. I just how much of him we would be getting right now if only...

This is the form my grieving mostly takes now.  Passing by magazine stands and wishing I'd see him interviewed, seeing footage of the Tribeca Film Festival and wishing he were there.  It's nice seeing unfamiliar pics of him in the HHH thread, but I can't see them without thinking that his body is no longer here with us.  I don't cry or spend my day moping, but it's an ever present dull ache, nonetheless.

I'm glad you're not crying every day now, Roux. 
Ich bin ein Brokie...

Offline Artiste

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2008, 07:05:00 pm »
I think that Heath told us to be happy !!

He certainly was helpful to get us to understand Ennis, the worth of life !!

Keep care, hugs!!

Offline Gabreya

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2008, 07:06:47 pm »
Hi. Sorry that I wasn't around long guys.

You know, I can't help it but I still cry every now and again about Heath. I'm still not 'completely' over him. :(
Words can not describe how much I miss and love him so much.

Offline Artiste

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2008, 07:09:10 pm »
Merci     Gabreya      !

That is OK... to cry !!

It is also good to remember the good times he presented to us too ??

Keep care,
hugs!

Offline Gabreya

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2008, 07:47:21 pm »
 :'( :'(
Thank you, Artiste. Thank you. Oh bless you.

Offline j.U.d.E.

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2008, 08:16:17 pm »
This is the form my grieving mostly takes now.  Passing by magazine stands and wishing I'd see him interviewed, seeing footage of the Tribeca Film Festival and wishing he were there.  It's nice seeing unfamiliar pics of him in the HHH thread, but I can't see them without thinking that his body is no longer here with us.  I don't cry or spend my day moping, but it's an ever present dull ache, nonetheless.

Meryl! That's exactly how I feel about it! I can look at pictures, but like you say, it is a very strange feeling, to know  :'(  that soon we'll run out of 'new' pictures of Heath... I haven't been able to watch any footage or movie with Heath yet though...

{{{HUGS}}}

Two pictures I took last Sunday thinking of BBM and Heath.
[2 swans on the lake of Constance, snowy mountains in the background]






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*15 jan 1929 - †04 apr 1968 | *04 apr 1979 - † 22 jan 2008 | *04 aug 1961 -

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2008, 12:19:56 pm »
Thank you Jude.  :-*

Offline j.U.d.E.

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2008, 08:24:58 pm »
Thank you Jude.  :-*

Y'r'welcome!  :-*

j. U. d. E.
MLK - - - - - - - - - - - - HAL - - - - - - - - - - - - BHO
*15 jan 1929 - †04 apr 1968 | *04 apr 1979 - † 22 jan 2008 | *04 aug 1961 -

Offline j.U.d.E.

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2008, 07:53:00 am »
Every now and then it just hits me full in the face, that Heath's death is SO NOT right!....

I just had a moment like this again...   :'(  :'(

j. U. d. E.
MLK - - - - - - - - - - - - HAL - - - - - - - - - - - - BHO
*15 jan 1929 - †04 apr 1968 | *04 apr 1979 - † 22 jan 2008 | *04 aug 1961 -

Offline MilAn

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2008, 12:56:58 pm »
Every now and then it just hits me full in the face, that Heath's death is SO NOT right!....

I just had a moment like this again...   :'(  :'(

j. U. d. E.

Aww Jude! :(  For me it's still so unbelievable and so, so wrong! :'(

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2008, 03:39:16 pm »
Yeah, I'm having a hard time around it too again.  Or still.  Another wave.

Offline Meryl

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2008, 04:57:37 pm »
Seeing the new trailer did it for me.  He's going to be so amazing in this movie, I just wish intensely that he were here to enjoy the rush of it.  And seeing even those snippets made me mourn all over again the roles that will never be.  :'(
Ich bin ein Brokie...

Offline RouxB

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2008, 11:55:58 pm »
Is it the weather??? I had a complete breakdown last night after a pretty normal week. Maybe it's because I watched Candy last or maybe because TDK is on the horizon but I am blue blue blue today. Coincidently, Truman sent me an email this morning apropos of nothing that read "let's be happy today" Hmmm

Heathen

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2008, 12:55:36 am »


       You don't be hard on yourself Roux, there are going to be those'
days for probably quite a while...But when you count the good and the
bad against each other.  Hopefully the best days are much more than the
bad ones.  And remember you have the right to all your feelings..Do not
beat yourself up over anything.. 



     Beautiful mind

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #15 on: May 13, 2008, 05:07:49 am »
Oh damn, here I go again...
I have a bad day today. I was looking for a specific BBM DVD pic for the TOTW yesterday evening, which I didn't find in the end, and so, so many Heath pics came up. Yes I know, not exactly surprising, and I'm the one who posts a Heath pic every day, so I'm looking quite often for Heath pics. But still, yesterday evening it hit me all over again :(.
Yes, it comes in waves. :'(



Offline optom3

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #16 on: May 13, 2008, 02:44:02 pm »
Oh damn, here I go again...
I have a bad day today. I was looking for a specific BBM DVD pic for the TOTW yesterday evening, which I didn't find in the end, and so, so many Heath pics came up. Yes I know, not exactly surprising, and I'm the one who posts a Heath pic every day, so I'm looking quite often for Heath pics. But still, yesterday evening it hit me all over again :(.
Yes, it comes in waves. :'(




It does come in waves,and for me is getting worse again with the imminent release of TDK.
If it is any consollation your pictures brighten up my morning coffee every day. No matter how bad my son has been,I do the final bus run,put the coffee on and settle down to my daily treat of Heath.It has become pretty much a ritual now.
So you certainly brighten my day,even if it is sometimes a bitter sweet thing.
I had not considered how hard it must be for you sometimes,trawling through lots of Heath photos, so we all get our fix.
So here's to you I say.
As the sun must be past the yard arm somewhere in the world,I will raise a glass to you !!!!!!!

Offline Lynne

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #17 on: May 13, 2008, 06:36:45 pm »
{{{{{{{{Friends}}}}}}}}

It's a GDBoaUS.  I was reading in the Movies thread that I'M NOT THERE is available for sale today.  I saw it at Blockbuster for rent yesterday and intentionally skipped over it (and re-watching CANDY) in favor of RENDITION, just for now.

Seeing BBM on Saturday freshened the loss...
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

Offline RouxB

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #18 on: May 13, 2008, 11:21:43 pm »
This week, weirdly, had some pretty bad moments for me. I watched Candy which, I think, set it off. Then I saw TDK trailer on TV and that just finished me off. I have heard from others that this was a bad week for them as well-I think it's the impending release of the movie.

Heathen

Offline ninisin2005

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #19 on: August 25, 2008, 11:17:06 pm »
I was at the mall slaving away relentlessly at Hot Topic where I work. A day just like any other. The phone rings and my fellow manager Winona answers it. She hands the phone to me stating that it was for me. I answer hoping that I'm not going to get in trouble for having a personal phone call while on the clock. My worries dissappear as my friend jeni speaks softly on the other end of the line. She says, "Henry, Heath died this afternoon." I was immediately pissed off at her. She knows how serious I would take her statement and how unhappy that would make me if that were really to happen. I told her "jeni, that's not funny." jeni said, "Henry, I wouldn't lie to you about something like this." I immediately started to cry. Winona looks at me with wild wondering eyes. I hang up the phone and turn away and walk head down to the back room. She follows and consols me as I tell her what happened. I still cry sometimes.
Of course when someone moves you in such a way that changes your life, you'll never fully recover from their departure. I don't ever want to recover. I want to miss him forever. After Heath passed away, I found myself missing someone I never met. Inside, I was terrified of this feeling. Maybe I am a little crazy and obsessed. Maybe I do need to talk about this to a professional. I kept thinking, "Now that Heath is gone, I will never get to thank him. I will never get to meet him. I will never see another Heath Ledger movie that I haven't already seen." My best friend called me from Germany. Crying once again, I told her how I felt. Her advise to me was to write Heath a letter. Whether I send it to some random address or whether I keep it for myself, writing down what I need to say will help me rediscover myself. I thanked her for her wonderful advise and ended the call. Though I never did write the letter, I found a new way to cope. Heath can see me typing this post right now. He can feel what I feel. He knows what he's done for me. His passing into whatever is after this life allows him to feel everyone he has influenced. I know that when he felt me, he smiled. I know that when he sees me typing this, he realizes what he has done. And it is good. Heath is gone. He's not coming back. But he can see and feel you now. Know this, and smile back. Thank you Heath. For everything. In a different way, "we was good friends." -Henry
"It's alright."

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2008, 02:00:38 am »
Thank you Henry.  I look forward to getting a chance to meet you.  My friends are your friends, and they make you sound wonderful.

Love the shirt.

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2008, 02:15:47 am »
(((Henry)))
We all still miss Heath.  :(


And on a lighter note, I miss you my dear friend! Next year .....
Love you :-* :-* :-*

Offline optom3

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2008, 09:59:08 am »
(((Henry)))
We all still miss Heath.  :(


And on a lighter note, I miss you my dear friend! Next year .....
Love you :-* :-* :-*

I will 2nd the missing Heath part.I was just over on the HHH thread and there is a video there which simply floored me.Seems he was as good behind the camera as in front.It was all new to me, and to hear his voice again,deep breath, big sigh.

Offline Gabreya

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #23 on: September 06, 2008, 11:45:59 pm »
You know, sometimes I feel like he's NOT dead at all and that this was all a sick joke. I keep thinking that he's still alive out there somewhere. But, then, the horrible fact keep coming up that he's not alive anymore and not with his loved ones. God, I'm still shakened by it. I'd never thought in a million years that his unexpected passing would affect me this hard. Not just me but all of you guys.  :'(
« Last Edit: September 15, 2008, 07:08:13 pm by Gabreya »

Offline Mandy21

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2008, 12:09:37 am »
I know what you mean, Gabreya and Fiona.  Ever since Jan 22, when I heard it on the 6:00 news and dropped my glass and cussed in front of my mother, it doesn't seem real.  Nothing seems real, in fact.  I watch his movies, from start to finish, from when he was just a kid in "10 things" all the way up to the end.  Haven't seen "Candy" or "I'm Not There", but did see all the others dozens of times, and BBM hundreds of times.

It's just impossible to believe that such a gifted person could die such a tragic accidental death.  We're all, because we love him, thinking we could have saved him somehow, or that people in his life should have saved him somehow, or that he was too smart to have done such a thing to himself.  We're all thinking those thoughts...

Hell's bells, I still believe Elvis is alive, maybe living in Honolulu or Vegas, dreaming the impossible dream for all eternity.

It's much easier for me to believe that Heath has just gone "down undah" with the other Aussies.  I'm sure there's some sheep that need herding somewhere, and he'd do a damned fine job of it...
Dawn is coming,
Open your eyes...

Offline Gabreya

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Re: The stages of grief
« Reply #25 on: September 15, 2008, 07:13:28 pm »
I understand, Mandy. It's still hard for me. I think of him most of the time and other times I try not to let it get to me. It's still stuck in my head. Ever since that horrible day in January, it never left. He's still closer to my heart and I know that he's gonna be in a very beautiful, heavenly place with Him. I know he is.
 :(






Why won't it leave?