Author Topic: Today's BbM as real life story  (Read 2461 times)

Offline RouxB

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Today's BbM as real life story
« on: May 31, 2006, 10:36:32 pm »
Today I had to explain to one of my very distraught employees why she did not get a bigger pay increase this year. During the course of our conversation and through tears she told how her parents were separating (she is only 21) after 21 years and that her father finally confessed to her that he thought he was gay (he also told her he had gone off this past weekend to kill himself because he thought she would never "forgive" him-a phone message from her caused him to change his mind). It has destroyed her whole family (her words) and while her feelings for him would never change, she is very angry with him for making them all live his lie.

What movie precipitated all things? Yep.

I empathized with her and made sure she understood that he had to do what he finally had to do and that his misery was no less than anyone else's. It was a heartbreaking conversation and I let her know if she wanted to come watch the movie with me (she is totally overwhelmed by even the thought of watching it) I would be happy to hold her hand.

Talk about seeing both sides of the story and the lose/lose for everyone...


Heathen

Offline chefjudy

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Re: Today's BbM as real life story
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2006, 10:44:07 pm »
 :( hopefully time will ease her pain, and that she will forgive her father and learn to accept what she cannot change - I know that sounds very simplistic, but in the long run, everyone will come out the better for him finally choosing the lifestyle that he prefers............sorry about the raise thing too, must have been a very upsetting week for her...............
Judy


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Offline SFEnnisSF

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Re: Today's BbM as real life story
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2006, 02:42:10 pm »
Thank you for sharing the story Ruby. 

I feel for the pain the family is going through, but am also happy he has decided to finally live his true life.  I'm more happy that it was BBM that has brought it out.  Imagine a day, where gay men won't feel the need to hide in marriages anymore.  How many more women and families need to be destroyed over this?  We're getting closer...one movie at a time.  This is one of the reasons BBM is so important!

Offline starboardlight

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Re: Today's BbM as real life story
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2006, 01:43:40 am »
wow! tough thing to have to go through. i hope your employee understands that things can only get better from here. her father has finally gotten to a place where he can be truthful to himself and to his family.
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Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Today's BbM as real life story
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2006, 09:21:19 am »
God bless you for "being there" for your employee, RouxB! And I ain't jokin'!
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline silkncense

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Re: Today's BbM as real life story
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2006, 11:04:07 am »
Quote
Imagine a day, where gay men won't feel the need to hide in marriages anymore.  How many more women and families need to be destroyed over this?

And the men! 

Although I don't generally listen to Howard Stern, friends at work who know I believe Brokeback is a potentially life altering movie, recorded his reivew of Brokeback.  He stated that the Christian Right needs to see it more than anyone.  That if they would, they would understand how many people are damaged/destroyed by failing to accept what is the truth.
"……when I think of him, I just can't keep from crying…because he was a friend of mine…"

Offline Kd5000

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Re: Today's BbM as real life story
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2006, 12:02:09 pm »
I figured a few married guys would pop out of the closet after seeing this film.

It's a very difficult situation for all involved. I used to man a conseuling line so I've heard everything. THe family cuts off the husband. The husband is on suicide watch. The husband didn't come out to his family until his parents had past away. The wife came home early one day, etc etc etc.  THe worse case was of married men getting arrested in a public restroom and their wives having to come to bail them out. Now that's some explaining to do. Even worse is getting their name listed in the paper for indecent behavior at the I-10 rest area. Then even their boss and neighbors all know.  :(