Talking about double standards......
I remember when our son was 15......we got a knock at the door, there stood a bloke about our age, who asked if Paul was our son.....we said yes.....He said, "your son has been having sex with my daughter". We were shocked, and told him we would talk to our son.
When we did discuss it with Paul, he told us that SHE had seduced HIM. She was a year older than he was.
I remember afterwards, my hubby said.....I didn't know whether to kick him up the arse, or pat him on the head.......
Yes, double standards, indeed.
When I was 9, a family from the country moved into our quiet, seaside, Sydney suburb. They had one daughter, Barbara, who was my age.
I was a very young 9 year old, whereas Barbara was 9 going on 42.
At every opportunity, Barbara would endeavour to get us alone, where she would quickly undress and insist that I do the same. This was the 50s, television was brand new, and I wouldn't hit puberty for another 4 years. At age 9, I wasn't even experiencing sexual thought for boys, let alone girls
*. The love of my life was my beloved German Shepherd dog, Toots.
Barbara systematically terrorised and brutalised me. I was terrified of her. And though there were other kids in the street with whom we played, somehow Barbara always managed to get us alone.
When, after many months of such abuse, I finally took a stand by avoiding all contact with her (I would literally run in the other direction whenever I saw her in the street), she spread the word that I had initiated the contact with her. I know, because two long-standing friends came and told me, and in so doing, advised me that they didn't believe her and that I was still their friend (they were both girls).
Now I look back, I can see that poor Barbara was probably being abused at the time, I suspect by her father, and was acting out with me.
I have since raised this with male friend, always advising how traumatic it was for me at the time. Universally, there have been two very predictable responses. My gay male friends usually bluntly tell me to "Get over it!" with no sympathy whatsoever. And my straight male friends invariable exclaim gleefully,
"Wow, you got lucky!" * And still haven't - for girls, that is.
