Author Topic: What Would Your Response Be??  (Read 8187 times)

injest

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What Would Your Response Be??
« on: September 21, 2008, 10:42:44 pm »
ok, I am going to print out a letter to one of the 'advice' colloumists and see what ya'll think of their answer, do you agree or disagree?

the first one is this:

A man writes in that he has recently moved from the West Coast to Louisiana. Women in the service industries, such as waitresses insist on calling him names like 'hon' or 'sweetie' and this has grown to affectionate hugs from the waitresses at his favorite haunts.

Recently his friend came to visit and was startled by this...accusing him of having an affair with the waitress.

This hugging and all is just the local custom according to him...What should he do?

The Advice:

Run in the opposite direction, apparently he hasnt heard of the local custom of what happens when waitresses boyfriend walks in during one of these affectionate hugs.

the hugging era is over. How unauthorized groping ever managed to pass itself off as innocent she cannot understand.

so what do YOU think? is the man out of line...or are the waitresses? or his friend maybe?

Offline David In Indy

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2008, 11:13:53 pm »
It depends.

It seems to me this man was giving those women his permission by allowing them to do it. If he was uncomfortable about it he should have told the women (in a kind way) to please not do it anymore. In this case however he seems to be excusing it by reiterating the fact that it is a local custom. If the women are comfortable with giving those hugs (obviously they are) and the man is comfortable in receiving them (it seems he is) there shouldn't be an issue. And if I read this correctly, the only person having a problem with it is the friend, and quite frankly it is none of her business.

This makes me think of my own dealings with folks around here regarding my sexual orientation. People are always saying how wrong it is, I'm going to hell, what a disappointment I am, blah blah blah. I perfectly happy with myself and my private business is just that. It's mine. And private.

I think that woman should just go on back to the west coast and stop worrying about something that doesn't concern her. If she doesn't like the local custom she is welcome to leave. :)

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injest

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2008, 11:21:51 pm »
LOL!! you should be an advice columnist yourself!


Offline Kerry

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2008, 08:30:21 am »

Sounds to me like he was probably enjoying the attention and encouraging it. Perhaps even flirting with the waitresses.

There's nothing quite as heart-warming as a hug from a loved one. I'm sure, however, that I would not particularly appreciate such advances from waitresses -  or waiters for that matter. Unless, of course, he was a personal firend.

My main concern here is that he could find himself on the wrong end of a nasty beating, should one of the waitresses boyfriends arrive and find them in flagrante delicto.
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Offline Katie77

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2008, 08:51:23 am »
There are hugs and there are hugs.... In a restaurant from a waitress, if they are done spontaneously and without fan fare, and are not overly smoochy, and are short and sweet, I cannot see a problem with it.

I used to work in a Credit Union, as a loans officer,  and had a wonderful clientelle of people who I looked after for years. We became friends became very close over the years.  There were several, men and women, who often came in the office, and greeted me with a hug or even a kiss on the cheek. It was spontaneous, and affectionate, and did not embarrass anyone, or looked at as anything but a freindly gesture.

As long as there is not other agenda, other than professional freindliness, then there is nothing wrong with it.
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Offline Kelda

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2008, 03:34:43 pm »
I could write the same type of things as above but I'm being lazy - I agree!!!
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Offline ZK

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2008, 11:31:00 am »
I can see nothing wrong with the hugs at all. Hey he must be a nice guy if the waitresses do that, I am sure they don't do that to all 'em boys. As to the friend, they need to get over themselves and re address their own personal issues - I am sure Sigmund F would have something to say about it  ;)
As to the would be boyfriends well I don't think he needs to take self defence lessons, if the waitresses hug one customer they probably hug all their favourites.
Finally I wanna go to Louisiana...now :laugh: :laugh:

injest

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2008, 07:00:44 pm »
I can see nothing wrong with the hugs at all. Hey he must be a nice guy if the waitresses do that, I am sure they don't do that to all 'em boys. As to the friend, they need to get over themselves and re address their own personal issues - I am sure Sigmund F would have something to say about it  ;)
As to the would be boyfriends well I don't think he needs to take self defence lessons, if the waitresses hug one customer they probably hug all their favourites.
Finally I wanna go to Louisiana...now :laugh: :laugh:

no you don't...trust me.

Offline ZK

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2008, 11:28:26 pm »
no you don't...trust me.

Awwww I wanna go! I can't remember the last time I got hugged by woman...well there is my Mum but that doesn't count! OKay I won't go only coz I trust you ;)

injest

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Re: What Would Your Response Be??
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2008, 11:35:17 pm »
Awwww I wanna go! I can't remember the last time I got hugged by woman...well there is my Mum but that doesn't count! OKay I won't go only coz I trust you ;)

come to Texas....we got a LOT more friendly women here!