I guess I was lucky, in that I didn't know much about the film before I saw it at the beginning of January. I hadn't read any reviews and the only reason I went to see it was that a friend of mine wanted to go. Also, I had never seen Heath or Jake in anything before, so I had nothing to compare their Brokeback performances to.
I was totally engrossed in the film, right from the first guitar note. I must admit I thought the first tent scene was a little abrupt (and I'm a gay man), but on subsequent viewings I noticed the subtle indications of their growing fondness for and attraction to each other which made the first tent scene a believable progression for them.
Like many others have stated, I became totally involved with Ennis and Jack as real people, not just as characters in a movie. I can't describe the devastation I felt when I found out about Jack's fate. Ennis's discovery in Jack's bedroom had me breathing through my mouth so I wouldn't sob out loud. The final scene in his trailer pushed me over the edge.
I obtained a copy of the short story, but I delayed reading it until after I saw the movie a second time. When I finally read the story, it had just as great an impact on me as the movie. I've never had a piece of fiction tear me apart as that story has.
I then went through months of obsessing over the movie, always bringing the topic of conversations with friends and family around to Brokeback. I would spend hours on IMDB, I always kept tissues next to the computer because tears flowed so easily.
Jack and Ennis became friends of mine and, dare I say it, I fell in love with them. I definitely fell in love with their love and with the movie.
The passion is starting to subside, but I think I will always be a Brokeaholic. I hope I never lose the connection I have to this movie.
Jack
