All excellent points. I agree with much of what's been said here.
I think sexuality is absolutely innate. Our upbringing may encourage or discourage our leanings (or try to), but a leopard can't change his spots. I'm very much into the science of all things. I think - I know, actually - that each of us is as unique as a snowflake. Even identical twins, as studies have found, don't have the exact same chemical make-up. Just sharing DNA can't be the whole picture, otherwise they would not have distinct personalities. And I agree with Kinsey's findings - I think all things can be described on a scale or spectrum - nothing is "either, or."
That said, I think Ennis and Jack are predominantly gay, Ennis moreso than Jack. Some straight people I know who've seen the movie seem to have a problem with that - they look at it as the love between these two men transcending their sexuality. I don't think that's possible - transcending one's own sexuality, I mean. It's as much a part of what makes us who we are as the color of our eyes. I think their love transcends their own homophobia and fears - the tragedy is that Ennis' place in society and time and his own fear doesn't allow him to express it openly - but not their sexuality. If you physically want a member of your sex, you are gay or bisexual. There are women in my life who I feel I love fiercely. I'd lay down my life for a couple of them. But I don't want them sexually. I don't feel that pull when I look at them or laugh with them or cry with them or hug them. There are men in my life I can't stand on an emotional level, but who make me feel that pull every time I see them.
We can't help who we love. And we can't help who we're sexually attracted to. When both of those things come together, and passionately, the effects of repressing that emotion are devastating. That's what this movie says to me. But the genius of the movie is that it can say any number of other equally meaningful but different things to different people. There is no one message it beats us over the head with. We can all agree it's a beautiful, tragic love story. But the definition of love is really so subjective - how can there be a definitive answer as to what it is? There's a line in Bronte's Jane Eyre, when Rochester says to Jane, "I feel there is a string tied between our two ribs. And if you go far away from me, that string will pull, and I shall bleed inwardly." That's the closest I can come to describing what it feels like to me.
And I totally believed the first tent scene, because I've happened to have a relationship like that, where I was working closely with the same man for a couple of months, socializing in the same circles, building a friendship. I was crushing on him secretly all along. When he finally really noticed me and we came together that first time, it was - well, explosive. And sudden. And almost violent. The next time we got together was much more tender. I've never had more physical passion for anyone else, even though I ended up marrying another man I love dearly who rescued me from pining for this one for the rest of my days. Sometimes I wish I could have helped loving the former. But then again, I wouldn't have these stories to tell.
