Author Topic: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground  (Read 6208 times)

Offline Phillip Dampier

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My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« on: February 10, 2006, 03:56:46 am »
It's been about a week of work in putting together some content for the site.  In fact, this site is one of my personal goals for moving forward post-Brokeback Mountain.  Just trying to formulate a vision for site launch has been on the stressful side for me.  I decided early on that this wasn't going to simply be a hard-defined site but rather one that can grow and change over time, especially after the buzz about the movie dies down.  I want this to still be a relevant site for those of us making some commitments to act on the film's messages.

Having some anxiety about making this place interesting enough for people to visit once and then want to visit again is an issue for me.  I'm trying to do what isn't already being done on a dozen other fan sites for the film or its actors.  I will be building out the resources forum over the next several days with a lot of additional links to quality material so it's somewhat organized and reasonably easy to find.  I've decided to indicate whether something is audio or video, and those links will stay active as long as the content at the end of it remains so.

I am hoping that people will just jump in and offer their own ideas and help me get the ball rolling as the site goes live this week.  I'm well aware this is week number one, and it's going to take some time to grow the site - I just hope I'll have your help along the way.
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Offline Impish

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2006, 09:05:23 pm »
What a great idea!  I've been on the IMDB board reading and posting about how BBM should lead to real change, and then I stumbled upon your announcement of Bettermost.

Thanks for doing this.
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2006, 09:44:57 pm »
No, thanks to you for being the very first registered actual user.  I saw your comments on IMDB and *really* appreciated them.  I want this to be an encouraging motivational place for everyone, without the trolls and the negativity, and I really want to make sure this movie is always a part of my life so that a month, a year, five years, ten years from now I can point back to Brokeback Mountain as being an important thing in my life - something that threw me from the horse, made me wake up and honestly look at my life, and say I'm not going to sit around and wallow in the missed opportunities anymore.

When we get some more users and messages in here, I want to talk about creating some joint applications online so that we can list our goals and help track their progress.  I also want to make sure we stay as motivated as possible and help be there for each other to make sure we are moving forward.

It could be helping people take a look at some past relationship that was a disaster, or dealing with one's own sexual orientation issues, or learning how to deal with the special someone in your life who won't commit or won't open up, or getting inspiration to do something, small or big, to fulfill some dream in your life.

I've been in support groups before and find the personal relationships and caring about each other to be a huge thing in helping me achieve success or feel better about something happening in my life.  Normally a lot of generic sites have nothing that ties the users together.  But we all have Brokeback Mountain.
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Offline Bing_57

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2006, 01:32:43 pm »
On the other hand, if everyone had the same opinion, this world would be a pretty dull place. I've been to a number of forums, on a wide variety of subjects, and the ones that try really hard to ban trolls and negative opinions die off really quickly. It's like;

"I love it!"
"No, I love it more!"
"No, I do!"

At that point, I yawn and go away.

Without the trolls and opposing opinions, you end up living in your own little bubble, just like movie stars, presidents, and professional sports players. You never see the real world.

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2006, 02:12:23 pm »
I don't mind disagreements about various issues.  I just don't want this to descend into a gay bashing paradise, or calling each other names, or making all the usual tired profane jokes about the movie.

As long as people don't attack each other, they can disagree on issues all they like. 
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Offline Bing_57

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2006, 04:22:47 pm »
Okay, what's going to happen the first time someone starts a thread with "My book says that all gays are going to hell"?

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2006, 05:23:32 pm »
Okay, what's going to happen the first time someone starts a thread with "My book says that all gays are going to hell"?

We put together an elk hunting party and....  ;D

Seriously, as I state upfront in that forum, religious beliefs and faith are deeply personal things and this isn't going to be the place to debate religious dogma and condemnations.  There are about 90,000 other places online to do that.  But honestly, let's cross that bridge when we come to it - this place has only been around since last Sunday.  I'd like to get people to at least post a hello.

As we grow, I am sure we'll have some volunteer moderators to keep an eye on things and make sure we keep some of the judging to courtroom TV shows.
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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2007, 12:01:45 am »
This is one for the history books, isn't it??

What a long long way we've come from that day in February. And BetterMost is still growing! In fact, it's the strongest site of all its peers! BetterMost definitely has the "legs!"

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Offline HerrKaiser

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2007, 11:11:41 am »
Sorry for missing something, but what is "this site" referring to? is it an off shoot of Bettermost that will continue for the long term?

A site that is multi faceted and designed to live past the BBM release, run, and post-run endearment periods, would be great.

I also agree with Bing_57 that yet another site that is a love fest among like-thinking people can be a short-lived idea. One of the aspects that has disappointed me personally on this and other forums is the sense of rejection from most who do not like/agree with ideas that are not lock-step in place with the current media-popular gay political agenda/lifestyles. In fact, I feel more sidelined/reviled by some members than I have ever felt from bigoted straight rednecks! Point being, a site that has a long term value and growth potential needs to embrace and encourage a mulititude of thinking people. Just a thought!

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2007, 11:15:22 am »
When Phillip says "this site" he is referring to BetterMost! His first post was written on February 10, 2006! in the very early days of the site when there was only one registered member, Impish!! It's very inspiring to see the origins of BetterMost and the fact that it is still growing today is testament to its inclusiveness, diversity of opinion, and vitality. With growth comes growth pains however, inevitably.

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Offline HerrKaiser

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2007, 12:37:37 pm »
thanks Front Ranger! I always miss the post-dates to get the flow right!

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2007, 11:47:25 pm »
Sorry for missing something, but what is "this site" referring to? is it an off shoot of Bettermost that will continue for the long term?

A site that is multi faceted and designed to live past the BBM release, run, and post-run endearment periods, would be great.

I also agree with Bing_57 that yet another site that is a love fest among like-thinking people can be a short-lived idea. One of the aspects that has disappointed me personally on this and other forums is the sense of rejection from most who do not like/agree with ideas that are not lock-step in place with the current media-popular gay political agenda/lifestyles. In fact, I feel more sidelined/reviled by some members than I have ever felt from bigoted straight rednecks! Point being, a site that has a long term value and growth potential needs to embrace and encourage a mulititude of thinking people. Just a thought!

I am so sorry that you feel that way. I hope you know that you are welcome here. We tend to be a strong willed bunch sometimes but if I ever go over the line drop me a line; I don't intend to offend anyone!

{{HerrKaiser!}}

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2007, 09:15:03 pm »
I also agree with Bing_57 that yet another site that is a love fest among like-thinking people can be a short-lived idea. One of the aspects that has disappointed me personally on this and other forums is the sense of rejection from most who do not like/agree with ideas that are not lock-step in place with the current media-popular gay political agenda/lifestyles. In fact, I feel more sidelined/reviled by some members than I have ever felt from bigoted straight rednecks! Point being, a site that has a long term value and growth potential needs to embrace and encourage a mulititude of thinking people. Just a thought!

This site welcomes all points of view, with the recognition that those views must be tempered by a strict avoidance of personal attacks.  People can debate issues without crossing the line into attacks on each other as individuals.  If you ever feel someone has personally attacked you, there is a button at the bottom of every message which lets you report a post to the moderators.  If a personal attack is there, we will address it.

There is a great deal of unity on the subject of the acceptance of gay people here if only because the movie engendered that.  But there are many paths to the road of tolerance and acceptance and how to define both.  I would keep in mind that if one rejects an idea, it doesn't mean they are rejecting the person who expressed it.
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Offline Br. Patrick

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Re: My Own Fears... Just Getting This Site Off the Ground
« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2007, 04:34:00 am »
But we all have Brokeback Mountain.

Phillip, this site is the CLOSEST thing that I have seen to REAL Group Therapy in my life.  Over the past 20 years, I have been in various group therapies for psychological reasons.   NOT ONE of them has come close to the real relationships that are going on on this site.  In the safety of anonymity we really open up to others more so than if we did it with 'live' people in group therapy.

What you have done is Miraculous!  This web site has literally CHANGED MY LIFE. 

Thank you for Bettermost, the site and also the radio.

Blessings ~  8)
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Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

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