Why are we like this?

[David]

Aussie Chris,  anytime you need a BBM hug, you just sign on!   

And that goes for anybody here.  What a wonderful diverse group we are!

Just looking at the profiles and photos I am amazed how we cover every age group, from 15 yrs old to 76!   Gay, straight, bisexual, men and women, rich and poor.   And here we sit sometimes everynight chatting with eachother from across town or across the planet!    All because we have this common fixation.   
 Ann Proulx must be smiling.  Because I sure am.   

[silkncense]

I am amazed how we cover every age group, from 15 yrs old to 76!   Gay, straight, bisexual, men and women, rich and poor.

I am amazed too, David.  And having gone to SF to meet some of them I found that even differences in personalities didn't cancel the connection.  You could truly feel the goodness in the people gathered together.  Granted, the Jacks probably bonded better with each other & were admired by Ennis types (I've evolved - regretfully - into an Ennis type of listening long before talking), but everyone shared the love.

the love and passion between Jack and Ennis and I wish I had even a little bit of that passion for myself.

Msuamber - Or believed it could be found again once lost.  I recall a 'reunion' kiss that  incredibly did create stars.  But, being young, in my early 20's, I thought I would easily have that again & chose a career that he couldn't accept.  And eventually I let that career, that I absolutely loved, go for another person that never brought me a tiny portion of my previous joy.  I still (perhaps more so now) feel the weight of regret.  I wish you were right, Chris -

I think I have a very simple explanation for the Brokeback-effect: the people who are moved by it are ready to heal.

I guess I am trying but haven't figured it out yet.
 

[bbm_stitchbuffyfan]

You know......

I really don't have any insight into this. All I can say is, I still think about Jack and Ennis all the freakin' time. I can now entertain other thoughts but even then, subconsciously I'm thinking of our boys. And you know what, I totally relate about them feeling not like movie characters but close, real-life friends.

Whenever I remember at night, I'll even say "Goodnight, Jack. Goodnight, Ennis."   

[Aussie Chris]

Msuamber - Or believed it could be found again once lost.  I recall a 'reunion' kiss that  incredibly did create stars.  But, being young, in my early 20's, I thought I would easily have that again & chose a career that he couldn't accept.  And eventually I let that career, that I absolutely loved, go for another person that never brought me a tiny portion of my previous joy.  I still (perhaps more so now) feel the weight of regret.  I wish you were right, Chris -

He he, well "ready" to heal doesn't mean you know how to fix things, only recognition that you were standing them all this time.  Brokeback doesn't give you the answers, only questions, and it makes you look at your life in simple terms: what have you been standing rather than fixing?  And the most important question of all: what are you going to do about it?

[nakymaton]

I think I'm fairly unusual here, because obsessing is really the main way I deal with art that I love. Books, movies, music... if something touches me, I want to immerse myself in it, to experience more of it, to share the experience (even if only virtually) with people who are touched in the same way. I feel kind of bereft when I appreciate art from a distance. (But at the same time, every time I obsess about things, someone points out that I'm over-intellectualizing, why can't I just enjoy it. And, well, I don't have a good answer to that. The tendency to over-intellectualize is a character flaw of mine, I'm afraid.)

But BBM is still strange, in a way, because I feel more guilty about it than I do about most of my obsessions. Usually there's a lot of joy and beauty in my experience of art that I love. And there's certainly beauty in BBM, but I find that the joy is always tempered by sadness -- the "happy tussle" is seen through Aguirre's binoculars, our experience of the reunion kiss is broken by knowledge of Alma's pain, the sweetness of the Motel Siesta cuddle is broken by Ennis's reply about being stuck with what he has, the peace and happiness of the "prayer of thanks" is torn apart by Ennis's memory of seeing Earl's body. And I've got a rather bleak interpretation of a lot of things in the movie, too, to the point that I don't really imagine untempered joy existing in either man at any point in the relationship. And it worries me that I am so caught up with something that is so sad, especially in my personal interpretation. (My friends that aren't as obsessed as I am don't talk about the movie being slow, or unrealistic -- I've got a number of friends who cried buckets when they watched it, but didn't want to see it again, because it hurt too much to dwell on. It was just too sad to obsess about. And I don't know what it is about me that makes me want to dwell on someone else's pain. It kind of freaks me out.)

On the other hand, I think another part of Brokeback-effect (good term, by the way!) for me is escape -- which I suppose means I'm looking for a way not to acknowledge and fix real life, but to stand it without facing it. Jack's and Ennis' world is heartbreaking, all right, but it's also such a comforting place -- someplace I can feel at home. When I watch the movie, it's almost (I know this sounds silly!) like I'm among friends.

I prefer books/movies/music that I can escape into. I always have. I don't think that there's necessarily anything wrong with that, not if you can come back to the world surrounding you when you need to.

[Front-Ranger]

I went to a seminar in February called Web 2.0. Learned a little about how things are evolving on the Web. It was mostly technical stuff but there is a lot to be learned from a sociological viewpoint. Some of the people on this message board won't be surprised to learn that over half of the content on the Web right now is consumer-generated. Internet communities are being formed like ours every day. I like to think that ours is one of the most diverse, more cultured, hip, and attuned to the human condition. That starts to explain how addictive it is! Why are we like this? Well, this message board is fuel for our passions, and keeps them burning brightly. That's why we are like this! IMHO anyway.

[Brown Eyes]

Heya Friends,

Well, I've been reading this very excellent thread for a while and I've been a little scared of jumping in ... It seems like the main question could lead to some *interesting* revelations.   
 

So, I'll start with a few simple observations... I love the film as a film and will never tire of watching it or picking it apart in discussions.  It's interesting to see how my interest in the movie and my participation in these boards have evolved... Participation in these boards has taken on a life of its own.  Spending time on Bettermost is definitely far superior to watching bad TV, etc. so in my true leisure time I often can't wait to log on here.  And, I would definitely agree that there's a lot of escapism involved here for me too.  I just think it's amazing fun to have this big group of people who understand all of our obscure references, Brokie-language and jokes (jokes that no one besides a Brokie would get or find funny).  Talking about BBM with people in my real life is annoying and stressful to me.  And, I don't have much patience for talking to BBM "novices" in the real world (I don't mean newbies here... I think it's great when new people join in here.  New members here clearly come here with a great deal of insight into the film).  I have too many emotions tied up with the film to be able to talk about it casually with people.  So it's nice to be able to assume that people here know what you're talking about and you don't need to constantly explain everything. 

On a more personal level...  I just moved here (well actually about a year ago) and besides people at work, I haven't had much time to meet many new people.  In an unfortunately Ennis-like way, I'm noticing that I'm becoming very circumspect about trying to make new friends or about letting conversations with new people go too far... for fear of having to come out to them.  This was all much easier in college and during grad school... dealing with this in the professional world is a whole different ballgame.  I'm also single... so this new loner quality of mine is not helping in that department either.  I never used to be like this... I've always had a large circle of friends (and I still do... only they all live far away now).  I don't know... I'm hoping this is a phase that will pass (I don't mean my Bettermost days... I mean my lack of interest in going out much). 

ps.  Yeah, Chris, it's great to see you around!  Where you been?

[wolf]

I'd be interested to see just how many of us, or what percentage, fall into the 'fan' demographic.  My guess would be very few, if any.  THAT in itself, amazes the heck out of me.  Adds weight to the epiphanic powers of BBM, if weight were needed.  Wolf is certainly well outside the demographic.  Star Trek amore notwithstanding.

Generally speaking, there are phenomenons which stubbornly (and magnificently) hover above our feeble attempts to describe them.  These magical, unknowable, mysterious things are created when remarkable forces align.  Depending on your view of quantum physics, these can be repeatable or unrepeatable events.  I don't think BBM is repeatable - yet unlike your typical unrepeatable quantum event, it IS observable.  So we can observe something that can't be repeated, but cannot describe the event.  Boy, are we in some strange place 

W

[Brown Eyes]

I'd be interested to see just how many of us, or what percentage, fall into the 'fan' demographic.  My guess would be very few, if any.  THAT in itself, amazes the heck out of me.  Adds weight to the epiphanic powers of BBM, if weight were needed.  Wolf is certainly well outside the demographic. 

What's the "fan demographic"?  I'm certainly no teeny-bopper, but is there some measure of a fan vs. a serious aficionado?  I think most people who have gravitated to BetterMost... or who have been given an invitation to join BetterMost are already on a special level of Brokeback appreciation.  And, the level of discussion here I think also reflects this. I'll certainly agree with you that Brokeback has special "epiphanic powers".  That's quite a phrase!
 

[wolf]

ah yes, the Fan Demographic.  a good question, Watson 

a knowledgeable friend recently described it as, broadly, 15 to 35 and working to middle class, with access to disposable income.   there are finer criteria for the various 'grades' of Fandom, of course, but for the purposes of this enquiry ...

serious afficionado.  hmmm .... do you mean Film Buff, or something else?  I'm a reformed Film Buff (again, Star Trek amore notwithstanding), so wonder if that does in fact, render Wolf a Fan  .

either way, I consider us our own breed.  in fact, we might well be aliens, responding to a well-disguised homing beacon.  only we can 'hear' the Signal 

w