~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

((shudders))

**Yeah, that's more like Lureen's tastes.... only she wants those twirly things on it too.**

((Jack looks like he wants to spit.))

**I told 'er that weren't the best idea in tha world, but she's insistin' on it.**

[Cher]

OK, I am here to help, but this wedding wardrobe planning will best be a team effort.  Since BOB MACKIE is still working his fingers bloody sewing sequins on those ghastly BOY SCOUT uniforms you bought your kids at the Salvation Army,

let's see who else with a flawless fashion ethic we can find sitting around the set.

THERE SHE IS!!  Do you think we can strongarm FOURTH RANDOM DIVA into helping?

I will lend this wig to LUREEN for her wedding so that she has something borrowed and something blue.



And as chairsiren of the International Diva Wedding Planning Committee, I was able to get MADONNA to agree to help select the wedding gown for the upcoming nuptials once she addressed that pesky eyebrow issue.

MADONNA:

OK, like how many wedding gowns do we need?  We got four prospective spouses and not even one is Like a Virgin.  I'm not sure who wants to wear what, so let's see what we got.  There's this one from my Sacred Future Concert Tour Trunk which I won't need back until the mid-1980s



and there is this Electra-fying number.



We also got this flash-the-flesh one from some RANDOM DIVA, probably not a good choice for LUREEN.

.

And finally, we got a couple of choices donated by other International Diva Network members ...



WHITNEY HOUSTON should have guessed that this would not work out

and I Gest that LIZA MINELLI won't be needing this one again.



Any takers?  About the dresses, I mean... not the ex-husbands.

[saucycobblers]

((JBB is convinced he has found a new and previously untapped talent, and excitedly produces the WEDDING CAKE TO END ALL WEDDING CAKES))

%%Yeehaw!! I don't give a flyin' fart who has it, but someone has to have this cake fer their weddin'!!%%

[Daniel]

Any takers?  About the dresses, I mean... not the ex-husbands.

YOUNG JACK:

**Yeah, I don't think we want any used wedding gowns. That's pretty much the "new" part that most spouses are supposed ta have. Where's the props magician when ya need her?**

[Lumière]

BAM SET BUSBOY .. BARNIE, who looks remarkably like ..





**
Okay, all the cakes so far are fab but I would suggest you use something like this on top of the cake:



When I married my sweetheart KEN, we had the most spectacular cake .. It was not over-the-top crazy or wild .. KEN definitely doesn't like flash and glam and all that kind of drama ..  The cake was simple but beautiful ..



 Plus we had tablecloths at the reception with "Barnie Loves Ken" scribbled all over them ..   Don't ask .. Ken's mother has incredibly horrible taste, she even wanted to have our pictures printed on the tablecloths as well, I had to put my foot down on that one ...

Jeez, I am babbling ...If the wedding planners for this wedding, whoever they are, want the number for the caterers who did our cake .. I'd be glad to give the information.

Gotta go!  **

[saucycobblers]

When I married my sweetheart KEN, we had the most spectacular cake

KEN:



%%Didn't I take out a restraining order against you??%%

[Lumière]

((JBB is taking a short break from sighing heavily and dreaming of TERRY CLOTH to assist in the search for a suitable cake for the next BAM wedding...))

%% how 'bout this one? See, it matches Mr Indapaddock's tie-die tank top %%

   


** Errrr......      **

[Lumière]

KEN:



%%Didn't I take out a restraining order against you??%%

BARNIE ...



** Err....Not you, freakishly-scarily-stalkerish-looking MICROPHONE CARRIER KEN ..  I am talking about this KEN, my sweet dumpling ..who looks nothing like you, but remarkably like ...



Okay FREAKY KEN?    **

[saucycobblers]

** Err....Not you, freakishly-scarily-stalkerish-looking MICROPHONE CARRIER KEN .. **

MICROPHONE CARRIER KEN:



%% Sorry 'bout the mix up. You've no idea how many good looking men I've had to take restraining orders out on. Tsk, tsk. You lose track, y'know? %%

[Lumière]

MICROPHONE CARRIER KEN:

%% Sorry 'bout the mix up. You've no idea how many good looking men I've had to take restraining orders out on. Tsk, tsk. You lose track, y'know? %%

BARNIE:



%%  Uh huh.. yeah right!  %%