~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Daniel]

Meanwhile, on a field in Riverton.

RANDOM HEIFER 13: ((watches Ennis's truck drive on by.))

**Here he comes..... and there he goes.... Told ya he cain't read.**

RANDOM HEIFER 18:

**He was drivin' awful hard... must not a seen it... Maybe he jes' ignores billboards?**

RANDOM HEIFER 13: ((rolls eyes and leans down to chomp more grass.))

**I ain't doin' the stupid sandwich board thing again.**

RANDOM HEIFER 18:

**No, if there's anythin' we don't want, its people associatin' cows with sandwiches.**

[Lumière]

ANGRY SHOPPER WAITING TO BE HELPED:




**  Can someone please take that kid to the bathroom??  All that whining is starting to grate on my nerves!!    And can I get some assistance this century PLEASE?!  **

[Pipedream]

Owl Olivia:

** Talk about moonstruck fools, people! You won't believe what I've seen (and heard!) up on Broken Arsed Mountain! Have you ever wondered what happened to Mika, the musical mule?? Well, it looks like she's got herself a lover. And he looks somewhat like Cigarbutt, but sounds like Bata Illic.* When I saw them together he was singing something for her. An old German Schlager from the Seventies... Kinda weird, if you ask me!**

   

Dunkel war die Nacht, ein Vogel sang Und ich ging allein am Fluss entlang Da sah ich Dich dort am Ufer stehn Und Du gingst mit mir, es war so schön Du bist alles für mich, denn ich liebe nur Dich Mikaela Und mit Dir ganz allein will ich nur glücklich sein Mikaela Jeder Tag ist so schön, weil wir zwei uns verstehn Mikaela Du bist mein Sonnenschein, lass mich nie mehr allein Mikaela Ich brauch keine Schätze dieser Welt Weil für mich nur Deine Liebe zählt Und ich sag Dir dass ich glücklich bin Seit Du kamst da hat mein Leben Sinn Du bist alles für mich, denn ich liebe nur Dich Mikaela Und mit Dir ganz allein will ich nur glücklich sein Mikaela Jeder Tag ist so schön, weil wir zwei uns verstehn Mikaela Du bist mein Sonnenschein, lass mich nie mehr allein Mikaela

Dark was the night, a bird sang And I walked alone by the riverside There I saw you standing on the shore And you came with me, it was so nice You are everything for me, because I love only you Mikaela And with you alone I want to be happy Mikaela Each day is so beautiful, because we understand each other Mikaela You are my sunshine, don’t ever leave me alone again Mikaela I don’t need any treasures of this world Because your love is all that counts for me And I tell you, I’m happy Since you came along my life makes sense You are everything for me, because I love only you Mikaela And with you alone I want to be happy Mikaela Each day is so beautiful, because we understand each other Mikaela You are my sunshine, don’t ever leave me alone again Mikaela

*Bata Illic:



↓(Play me!!)

[Mikaela]

MONROE:

((Gapes, lets out a small sigh of relief))

%% He didn't get the slip! Didn't hear me right! Wooo-hoooo%%

((Comes back down to earth quickly))

Uh, oh, I wouldn't know about where they sell condoms...... I'm more into Consomme myself.

%% Oh, Shit, here I go again! Beans, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans... %%

((Points))

You'd hafta ask the talented CHER here 'bout such stuff, she'd know all about that for sure.

((Can't help grinning a little at CHER in the middle of it all))

But ALMA, now, she's over there with the mustard. Ketchup. You know, next to the beans. Think you can find it?

((Looks apologetically at ANGRY SHOPPER))

DO-DO, could you please help this lady.........?


%%What a day! I think it'll be me going crazy next! %%

[louisev]

ENNIS:

((gives MONROE an odd look, though with his alcohol-numbed consciousness, he can't really figure out what is making MONROE so jumpy.))

Ketchup.  That shouldn't be next to the Personal Lubricant...

((wanders down the aisle and sees ALMA stacking PEANUTS.))

Hey Alma, Junior here's got ta pee an I am shee threets ta the wind, can you take care of it for me?

[Cher]

ALMA, JR:

Daddy, I got ta go pee.[/b]

ME:

Alright, I'll take the poor kid to pee... she seems so Elijah blue ...



(( As difficult as it is to step away from sweetet-thing-in-the-bakery-aisle MONROE and that hot cowboy-type who just showed up talking about condoms, my humanitarian and maternal side takes over and I pick up ALMA JUNIOR and take her to the warshroom.  ))

[Lumière]

ENNIS:

((gives MONROE an odd look, though with his alcohol-numbed consciousness, he can't really figure out what is making MONROE so jumpy.))

Ketchup.  That shouldn't be next to the Personal Lubricant...

((wanders down the aisle and sees ALMA stacking PEANUTS.))

Hey Alma, Junior here's got ta pee an I am shee threets ta the wind, can you take care of it for me?

(( ALMA looks puzzled as ENNIS struggles with the girls ..





))


**  Ennis?? ... what do you mean you are "shee threets ta the wind" ..?  What are you doing here anyway?  Yer supposed to be watching the girls AT HOME ..  Ennis, I am in the middle of working here.  **

((ENNIS hands over JENNY to ALMA as if he hasn't heard a word she has been saying ..))





** Ennis!  What are you doing?  I am in the middle of work here!  Monroe could gimme the sack for this ..!  **

[Mikaela]

DO-DO:

((Huffily to ANGRY CUSTOMER))

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, ma'am. I'm however not employed here to take care of peeing kids, so the assistance I provide cannot fulfil all your wishes. CHER here is helping out with that, though. I apologize for any inconvenience. How may I help you?

((Gets very, very bright idea))

Ma'am, your foul temper seems to indicate you're in dire need of improved spiritual well-being. Have you ever heard of the Sisterhood of Devout Acolytes to the High Priestess? I am more than willing to enlighten you.........

((Watches in surprise as ANGRY CUSTOMER storms off))

Was it something I said?

((Hears CHER snickering loudly on her way to the loo with ALMA JR.))

[louisev]

ENNIS:

((Hiccups loudly))

I was watchin TV an guess I had a few too many beers, but I figured you could keep an eye out for em.  I saw a billboard outside I got ta check out, had my name on it.  But then again, maybe I was seein things, cause there was two Holsteins climbin up over each other ta change the message last time I drove past...

Come on ALMA, you know how I get when I'm drinkin...

[Cher]

DO-DO:

((Hears CHER snickering loudly on her way to the loo with ALMA JR.))

ME: 

** I'm snickering because this darling little ranch urchin said "wanna see my sheep trick" and now my dumb-a&& moon-stitched mules are wet.  Someone call wardrobe, please! **