Author Topic: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%  (Read 1193668 times)

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3900 on: January 25, 2007, 02:08:24 pm »
Message to Terry, the warshrag




Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3901 on: January 25, 2007, 02:09:57 pm »
local audience member

LOOK OUT! It's a twister!



Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3902 on: January 25, 2007, 02:11:17 pm »

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3903 on: January 25, 2007, 02:12:29 pm »
Twister



Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3904 on: January 25, 2007, 02:13:28 pm »
Locals

OMG a twister!



Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3905 on: January 25, 2007, 02:19:22 pm »
Audience members lamenting Terry Cloth.



'Achilles Lamenting the Death of Terry Cloth' by Nikolay Gay, 1855

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3906 on: January 25, 2007, 02:20:41 pm »
More audience members lamenting the assumed fate of Terry Cloth, the warshrag


Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3907 on: January 25, 2007, 02:22:25 pm »
Hamlet, a Danish prince

Alas poor warshrag. I knew him.


Offline Daniel

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3908 on: January 25, 2007, 04:16:12 pm »
Nancy Carrigan~

** Just then the store owner walks behind the counter

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!   Look who's here!   Jack Twist!   I thought that was you!  How have you been?   Why I havn't seen you in coons life!  What brings you to these parts?





JACK:

**Well, I'll be!!!! Nancy! Haven't seen ya since high school, when ya were drawing pictures of dresses all the time. Glad ta see ya made it. I'm sellin' tractors down in Texas, but right now I'm just visitin a friend up here. Ennis del Mar. Ya know of him? Tall man, good lookin', always looks like he's jest about ta cry but never goes through with it. Just got divorced. Tryin' ta find what his new address is.**

**I'm also tryin' ta buy some lotion off one of these fine-lookin' sales ladies.**

((Just then a crash of crystal can be heard from the fragrance department.))

SALESPERSON: **Hold on to yer hats, folks. The store's goin' round a bend!!!**

((Sales associates run everywhere to try and keep various store fixtures from falling down.))

JACK: **What's goin' on, Nancy? All the buildings in Riverton are moving about. This ain't exactly normal.**
Why do we consume what we consume?
Why do we believe what we believe?
Why do we accept what we accept?
You have a body, a mind, and a soul.... You have a responsibility.

Offline Daniel

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #3909 on: January 25, 2007, 04:24:56 pm »
DIRECTOR JAKETWIST~

((emits a loud gasp, REALLY LOUD!))

eeeeEEEEEEP!!!!

((springs up to a sitting position on the sofa, where she had been laying on a green towel, covered in layers of slimy green seaweed.  The two avocado halves that were adorning her.... fell to the floor, and bounced in opposite directions.  The seaweed started dropping off her body, and she quickly grabbed the towel she had been laying on and tried to stem the tide of seaweed landing on the floor in front of her.))

I have just now started my body regimen here, didn't your mother ever teach you how to knock???





%%JakeTwist is mightily annoyed at the il-bred boorishness of Laurel Spartan-Apples%%

Shut the door!  My God, before you know it all those TERRY CLOTH-wanna-bes will be crowding in here, angling to fill dear old WARSH CLOTH's place.  As if!!  Jake knows, there will never be another TERRY CLOTH, I am so devastated by his AWOLiness.

((JakeTwist's face starts to tremble, and her eyes water and the tears spill over, run down her cheeks, making tracks in the mudpack on her face.))

%%Oh I feel such a failure, losing my beloved young protégé TERRY.  If only he would send a message or a postcard to say where he is, how he's doing.%%

((sobbing quietly))

%%Oh man, I am really losing it now!  Why did I have to think about him now in front of that job predator SPARTAN-APPLES?%%

((shakes her head, and clamps her mouth shut determinedly, wipes the tears, smearing mud all over her face.))

Is there something you need this very minute, or shall we set an appointment to meet?


LAUREL SPARTA:

((Laurel smoothly closes the door behind her.))

**I did knock, my dear. What an interesting regimen. My nightly skin cream is also green, you really must try it some time.... And I see then that you have no averse effects to the Riverton set being put on shuffle.**

((The branches of a passing tree burst through the window for a moment, chirping birds perched on a nest peeping wildly, before they are whisked out the window again.))

**But to be honest, I suppose you want to know what made me make this decision. A lot of the props are breaking, fortunately the sacred relic room is slightly off set. But you have another actor besides TERRY CLOTH who's gone crazy. What about that JACK fellow? Here, listen to this.**

((Laurel goes over to the director's computer and types a few buttons. She sets a CD in the CD-tray and pushes it in. JACK's voice can be clearly heard.))

JACK'S RECORDED VOICE: **Lucise, Lucise! Stop tryin' ta kill me! They're gonna do it without yer help!**

LAUREL SPARTA: **He's been going all over the set gathering up characters that he's not even supposed to know. You really must keep a closer eye on the boy. Can't have the film being ruined, now, can we?**
Why do we consume what we consume?
Why do we believe what we believe?
Why do we accept what we accept?
You have a body, a mind, and a soul.... You have a responsibility.