Author Topic: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%  (Read 1149158 times)

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4420 on: June 17, 2007, 02:55:44 pm »
~~Meanwhile~~

LUREEN:

%%I can't believe it was just a few hours ago we was bumping along the washboard road to the fundraising dance when we happened upon an angel by the side of the road!!%%

**sigh**

%%And then we all went to the dance together an we were talkin and drinkin and all when she gives me this look!%%

« Last Edit: June 17, 2007, 06:42:46 pm by Front-Ranger »

Offline Daniel

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4421 on: June 18, 2007, 03:26:31 pm »
JACK:

((Jack gets to wonderin' more and more where Lureen and LaShawn are. He turns to Randall.))

**You reckon our wives are makin' out?**
Why do we consume what we consume?
Why do we believe what we believe?
Why do we accept what we accept?
You have a body, a mind, and a soul.... You have a responsibility.

Offline Mikaela

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4422 on: June 18, 2007, 03:47:33 pm »
THE BY NOW RATHER EXASPERATED BENCH OUTSIDE THE HALL:

(( Never thought it would reach this moment in time, but there you go!  ))

** Why don't the two of you go check that out. That kind of things's supposed to be a hot sight. Besides, you're getting very heavy and I'm sure your butts must be absolutely numb by now. **

(( Creaks wearily ))

%% The hours have grown late, long and tedious, and I seriously need my beauty rest, guys. So do you, when truth be told. Don't make me regret falling in love here! What a shame that would be! %%

(( Sags ))

Offline welliwont

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4423 on: June 18, 2007, 04:06:14 pm »
RANDALL~

((leaning in towards JACK, feeling and rubbing his own ass trying to locate the source of his pain))

%%Owww!! G_ _ D_ _ _ it!!!  It felt like a splinter a wood, where is it?  I swear, I felt a great big splinter slicing into my bum, where the hell is it?  It's not like I can ask Jack to look for it, I don't want to scare him off now do I?  I cain't just ask him to examine my bum right outa nowhere!%%

I dunno JACK, I ain't never thought a that.  But I can tell ya, I'm used to this.  If there's one thing LASHAWN likes, it's a girlfriend to prattle on to.  I knew when they both went to the powder room, that we'd be waitin' a looooong time.

((squirming and wiggling on one bum cheek, bumping into JACK while feeling for the imaginary splinter))

You want me ta go in there and track 'em down JACK?  Or would you rather do it?  They're probably still in the powder room.
Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."

Offline Mikaela

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4424 on: June 19, 2007, 04:56:12 pm »
THE BITCHIN' AND MOANIN' BENCH:


%% Yeah, I'vee been complaining four hours today! These two guys keep hangin' on, goin' nowhere! They have the most unbelievable stamina.... They must have butts of pure burnished steel! %%

(( Gulps and contemplates that for a while, but soon enough returns wearily to the previous pain and utter exhaustion:))


(( Sags despondently ))

** The loss of all those splinters has weakened me further. I'm about to collapse! Oh no! **


((Squeaks pitifully))

%% Perhaps they'll get the point if I announce it in HUGE LETTERS: %%



Offline Mikaela

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4425 on: June 19, 2007, 06:37:15 pm »
THE CRUMBLING AND SAGGING BENCH:


((Pants and wheezes ))

%% Must.....keep...up! Mustn't give in.... to gravity! Keep....up! %%


((Dizzily seems to hear high-pitched unrelenting buzzing ))

%% What is that? That noise? Makes it difficult to...... Uhm... I can't concentrate.  Did the two of them *really* just agree to get into contact later on? Or am I hallucinating? This high-pitched noise in my ears.... makes it so hard to know what's what! %%


(( Groans, disoriented))

** After all my splinters sacrificed....all that prime hardwood....  all the expensive cologne splattered....  all my advertising my advantages........ all these weary hours of holding on and holding out...... did JACK really still hook up with RANDALL? I'm not sure.... I'm so tired.... But if so: THAT was the last straw!!  :-\ I'm done!  >:( **


((Collapses suddenly and loudly, sending JACK and RANDALL tumbling. They accidentally roll right into various on-site props which, loudly collapsing over the guys in their turn, happen to bring down the front of the DANCE HALL. It's utter mayhem and chaos on set! Screams and booming crashes reverberate! 


But the BENCH doesn't care about any of that.... ))

Aaah! To rest at last! Though I'm officially just a BROKEBENCH from now on, just a sorry pile of sticks under a jumbled tangle of prop pieces, -  my job is done!  My part as an extra is over at last! I can rest! Oh, glorious rest! Oh, blessed sleep!  



ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ ** Goodbye, my JACK** ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZz

Offline welliwont

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4426 on: June 19, 2007, 07:33:38 pm »
DIRECTOR WELLIWONT~

((comes bursting out of his her trailer at the frantic knocking and all the yelling and commotion that suddenly erupts))

%%OMG!  What happened?  I don't believe it!!  Now they're fighting!!%%

((runs on to the stage and towards the crowd of people blocking his her view of what's going on.  He She pushes his her way through the stagehands and reaches JACK and RANDALL, who are on their asses in the middle of the mayhem))

What's going on??  OK, who started it?

((JACK and RANDALL are both dazed and bunged up, sitting amongst the remains of the LOUIS XIV BENCH.  Broken slats of BENCH are everywhere, under them, digging into them, with big jagged sharp ends just readying themselves to metamorphosize into wicked splinters))

Waaiii-t a minute!!!  This isn't a fight?  The BENCH broke?  You two broke the BENCH?

((clicks his her tongue loudly in annoyance))

Are you alright?  Randall David Harbour?  Jake Daniel?  Did you get hurt?

((but both actors are already getting up, no worse for wear.  Fortunately they have no lasting injuries, except for RANDALL with a few splinters still embedded in his behind))
« Last Edit: June 21, 2007, 10:57:50 pm by welliwont »
Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."

Offline welliwont

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4427 on: June 19, 2007, 11:56:30 pm »
DIRECTOR WELLIWONT~

((reaches her hand out to help JACK to his feet))

Are you ok?  How do you feel?  ((turns to look at RANDALL))  And what about you, did you get hurt?

((both actors shake their head, but then JACK frowns deeply, clutches his head in both hands, and squeezes his eyes shut from the sudden headache))

WELLIWONT~

%%Damn!  That beautiful bench!  I had plans to discretely take it home with me after the show ended.  I should dock their paycheques for that bench.....  Wellll, maybe not.%%




Alright!  That's it!  This Scene is over!!

((WELLIWONT turns to face the curious audience))

That's the end of Scene 60 folks!  We've had an unfortunate prop malfunction, as you have seen, but we'll be back shortly.  It won't take long for us to clear this debris, then Scene 61 will commence.

((WELLIWONT whispers to one of the stagehands standing around aimlessly))

**quick!  pull the curtain!!  quick!  before somebody throws something!!**
Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."

Offline Daniel

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4428 on: June 20, 2007, 12:01:16 am »
JACK:

((Jack grimaces as he gets up off the ground, helped by DIRECTOR WELLIWONT. He looks around at the pile of rubble that used to be the front of the dance hall.))

**Well, that's one way ta bring the house down.**
Why do we consume what we consume?
Why do we believe what we believe?
Why do we accept what we accept?
You have a body, a mind, and a soul.... You have a responsibility.

Offline welliwont

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4429 on: June 20, 2007, 12:45:18 am »

~ End of Scene 60 ~



Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."