~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[saucycobblers]

((Meanwhile, in ALMA's kitchen...

...the still slightly phlegmy JBB has had time to reflect upon his goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation during his convalescence))

**No word from TERRY in 4 effen months. Got no idea where he went either. Didn't leave no word, or no sign. Just rolled himself up and disappeared from that laundromat like a fart in the wind...**

((JBB sniffs loudly, and only partly because of the Del Mar lurgy, as a creamy tear slides down his pale tubing))

**The WARSHRAG musta had his reasons, I guess. Though hell if I know what they coulda been. I gotta let ya go, bud... though it makes me madder than a jackrabbit with a cyote on its tail ta do it. Remember the time we spent together in the don't-look-right-tent up on Brokenarse? It coulda been like that, just like that, always... but I guess ya didn't want it TERRY.**

((JBB swallows hard and squeezes his lid tightly shut, trying to get a hold of himself, fearful that if he lets himself go to that place there won't be any way back...))

**Sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it. And I can't stand it no more... please don't be mad at me for needin' sumthin' I don't hardly never get. I gotta let yer soft folds and yer double-stitched hem go, friend, I swear...**

((JBB hums softly to himself, and gently sings in a melancholy voice that is barely a whisper...))

**Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you.**

http://www.last.fm/music/Simon+%2526+Garfunkel/_/Bookends+Theme

[southendmd]

Audience member:

[Lumière]

JACK

((Grateful for Do-Do's silence and Monroe's slumber, Jack accelerates out of the parking space and rounds the bend parking near a little bistro. He hops out of the car and heads inside. Everything is frozen in still-motion. A few patrons at the tables with food lifted to their mouths, servers pouring wine and coffee in frozen streams, a desert cart tumbling onto one of the patrons. Wait.))

**Lucise? You been frozen in here all this time?**

((Jack grabs Lucise by the collar and pulls him up, and everything in the room returns to normal. The desert cart falls with a huge crash on the spot where Lucise had been laying.))

LUCISE:


((Lucise looks around .. disoriented ..))

** Err, who are you?  And where are you taking me? And where is my hubby-to-be..?  **

((Lucise struggles to get away from Jack, throwing a punch in his direction, missing Jack's jaw by a mere millimetre.. Lucise staggers about, trying to figure out where he is..))

** Guuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??  BBaaaaaabbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??  **

(( With no sign of Guy in the vicinity, Lucise crumbles to his knees and passes out cold .. his subconscious taking him back to the happy moments in his disoriented mind ..













))

[coffeecat33]

Washcloth on Dog's Head

%% OooWeee! Look a that tube a JBB. She's hawt. At least I think she's a she. Hope so. 'Cause she is making my warp woof! Rrrrrowwww! %%

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((Guy, who had also been saved by Jack from the Bistro of Frozen Doom, had lay crushed beneath Monroe's sleeping body and was a little unaware of his surroundings still as Lucise violently attacked Jack... He didn't care much. He was still trying to figure out who and what and where and why he was.))

((When the car stopped, Guy managed to get out on the other side of the car, and rambled on a ways in whatever direction he was facing. He stopped for a moment, but the world still floated by.
At least, he thought he had stopped. He looked down at his feet, firm on the ground. Yes, he had stopped. He had to duck rapidly when a low branch from a tree floating by might have struck him.))

((Somewhere beyond that tree, Guy heard a familiar voice moan his name in pain. When the tree moved aside he rushed toward the unconscious Lucise.))

**Ohhhh. I think I remember you.**

[Daniel]

JACK:

((Walks up to the cosmetic counter.))

**Afternoon, ladies. Was wonderin' if ya had any special cowboy lotion or body butter on sale today. And none a that fancy french stuff, either. Lookin' for the good ole American body butter.**

**And if ya can wrap this sale up quick, I'll be outta yer hair in a jiffy.**

((Jack winks at the woman closest to him across the counter.))

[Arad-3]

Salesladies~

[Arad-3]

Nancy Carrigan~

** Just then the store owner walks behind the counter

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!   Look who's here!   Jack Twist!   I thought that was you!  How have you been?   Why I havn't seen you in coons life!  What brings you to these parts?

[Brown Eyes]

[welliwont]

LAUREL SPARTA:

**Sometimes, its good to be a production assistant.... Now to have a conversation with this so-called director.**

((Laurel gathers some motion sickness pills from her medicine cabinet, and makes her way down from the production tower, pausing to give Cissy Spacek a stamp with her signature in the hopes of avoiding future commercials with feminine hygiene products. She steps out on the small lawn surrounding the tower and looks around, trying to determine where the director's trailer is at this very moment.))

((She instantly cheers up.)) **Ah, yes, here we are.**

((The director's trailer was floating directly toward her on one of the islands of land that were moving around each other sporadically. Laurel took a breath and stepped off her own platform onto the moving one carrying the trailer. The short flight of stairs leading to the door were easily overtaken; Laurel knocked briskly and stepped into the director's office.))

**Goodness, my dear. You're positively green. You mustn't look outside too often when these little things happen. You'll get seasick. I brought some pills for you in any case.**

DIRECTOR JAKETWIST~

((emits a loud gasp, REALLY LOUD!))

eeeeEEEEEEP!!!!

((springs up to a sitting position on the sofa, where she had been laying on a green towel, covered in layers of slimy green seaweed.  The two avocado halves that were adorning her.... fell to the floor, and bounced in opposite directions.  The seaweed started dropping off her body, and she quickly grabbed the towel she had been laying on and tried to stem the tide of seaweed landing on the floor in front of her.))

I have just now started my body regimen here, didn't your mother ever teach you how to knock???





%%JakeTwist is mightily annoyed at the il-bred boorishness of Laurel Spartan-Apples%%

Shut the door!  My God, before you know it all those TERRY CLOTH-wanna-bes will be crowding in here, angling to fill dear old WARSH CLOTH's place.  As if!!  Jake knows, there will never be another TERRY CLOTH, I am so devastated by his AWOLiness.

((JakeTwist's face starts to tremble, and her eyes water and the tears spill over, run down her cheeks, making tracks in the mudpack on her face.))

%%Oh I feel such a failure, losing my beloved young protégé TERRY.  If only he would send a message or a postcard to say where he is, how he's doing.%%

((sobbing quietly))

%%Oh man, I am really losing it now!  Why did I have to think about him now in front of that job predator SPARTAN-APPLES?%%

((shakes her head, and clamps her mouth shut determinedly, wipes the tears, smearing mud all over her face.))

Is there something you need this very minute, or shall we set an appointment to meet?