**ATTENTION: Jack's pants have just gone on strike for a raise in pay. They have walked off the set! No understudy available, this is a low-budget movie after all!!**
((JACK'S PANTS, slowly and indignantly rise to their full and stiff height, same as if Ma Twist had just used a whole can of Niagara Spray Starch on 'em.))
** Now, listen, little lady, you know that
never happened, yer just tryin' to get a rise outta my 'Levi's' and get me back to work. If you can CALL it work. The very idea! You think I need extra monetary incentive to wrap my Wrangler self around JACK'S precious parts?! I'm thinkin' maybe yer jus' a little jealous that I get to cling to all JACK'S rounded parts and bulging parts and rock-hard parts and lean, muscular parts and get to rub all up against ENNIS's pants, and.... um... YEAH, that's it!
Jealous! Askin' fer more money? Are you kidding? I'm doin' this job
Pro Bone-o, baby!
**
(( After flinging forth what JACK'S PANTS mistakenly think is a snappy retort, they stride purposefully and hastily back to the Broken Arsed set.))
JACK'S PANTS -
%% WHOA, what have we
here?! JACK, my boy, I'm right over here! I thought with all the buckin' and roamin' and circlin' and... *ahem*
turgidity.. you was wantin' yer thighs not to be so 'denim-clad' any more! Did you change your mind mid-baritone purr? Mid-hot junction? Well, that's okay, JACK, I understand how these things can go, but....I'll admit I'm torn.... no, no, not like that, I don't need no knee patch. I mean if you want me to come slide myself back up your thighs, you
know I'll be right on
that, but... I gotta admit, sometimes I really like standin' back a ways and seein' you JACK'S PANTS-less... what a purty sight.
Danged purty sight.
Whoo-eee. (( Takes deep, shaky, yet satisfied breath...)) I'm right here, hun, grab me and start slidin' those legs right on in. %%
**'Walked off the set.' Who's gonna believe
that?!**