~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Mikaela]

MIKA, the dumbass musical mule:


((Enters, braying  crooning softly and sweetly))

[LauraGigs]

ENNIS [brushing himself off, straightening his hat — a bit worse for the wear and tear]:

%%  Man, that was some explodin' . . . for all the wrong reasons.

Sure hope my pickup can make it up to Brokenarsed, if they let me take the ashes and all.  %%

((   Heads toward the Twist front door, making as quiet, dignified an approach as he can   ))

[Daniel]

MA TWIST (played by Scarlett O'Hara)

((Mrs. Twist shades her eyes as she squints at Ennis as he emerges unscathed from the burning rubble.))

Well, fiddle me dee. You survived?! You'll wahnt a glass of some fresh ahced tea after thaht, wontcha? A piece ah cherry cake?

((Scarlett turns as a script girl runs up to her and whispers something in her ear. She looks up confused.))

**Whah in tha hail would he want coffee? It's the middle of tha afternoon. Fahn, fahn, Ah'll ask'm if he wants... coffee.**

((Scarlett shudders as though she can't abide the idea.))

Ah reckon I can getcha coffee if ya want.

[LauraGigs]

ENNIS:

I'll have some coffee, or some iced tea — whatever you got on-hand, ma'am.

But I can't eat no cake just now.

[Daniel]

MA TWIST:

((She turns and leads Ennis into the kitchen, and pours him a cup of coffee. She hands it to him.))

My husband apparently drinks coffee in the middle of the afternoon too. He should be around here somewhere. Probably out tryin' ta calm the cattle after that explosion. Hope yer alright 'n all.

((Scarlett breathes a sigh of relief as she manages to get out a sentence that sounds marginally western.))

[LauraGigs]

ENNIS [shifting on the hard chair in the sparse dining area]:

%%  Dang, my jeans must still be a-smoulderin.  Ass is sore for all the wrong reasons again!  Don't look like ol' JBB can help me none right now either.  Poor lil fella...   %%

[Takes a sip of coffee and remembers his mission]:

I feel awful bad about Jack . . .
can't begin to tell you how bad I feel. I knew him a long time.
I come by to say that if you want me to take his ashes up there on Brokenarsed, like his wife said he wanted . . .
I'll be happy to.

[welliwont]

OLD MAN TWIST~





Tell you what, I know where Brokeback Mountain is. He thought he was too goddamn special to be buried in the family plot.

[Daniel]

Ma Twist (played by Scarlett O'Hara)

((She walks over behind her husband and taps him on the shoulder disapprovingly.))

Oh come ahn, now. Don't you start doing your cryptkeeper impersonation again. It don't scare no one.

= ?

[Sashca1007]

ENNIS [shifting on the hard chair in the sparse dining area]:

%%  Dang, my jeans must still be a-smoulderin.  Ass is sore for all the wrong reasons again!  Don't look like ol' JBB can help me none right now either.  Poor lil fella...   %%

ENNIS'S PERKY PRINT JAMMY PANTS -

%%'Smoulderin', huh?  Can ya blame 'em?  They been clutchin' Ennis's purty parts long before they was ever flung against the tent walls up on BrokenArse.  Yeah, Ennis's  gal-wife bought him a new pair a pants outta the J. C. Penney catalog one year, said she was tired a seein' the same old pants on his behind and why was he so danged attached to 'em, anyway?!  'Course, it was her idea for Ennis ta wear perky print jammy pants, tryin' ta perk him up a little.  Wasn't long until the MRS. was sportin' the longest, thickest, ugliest nightgowns she could find, and with one purpose in mind; drag her hubby's thoughts as far away as possible from doin' what he liked to do to her when the lights went out.

Well, now, got yerself a sore arse, do ya, Ennis?     Ya know, aside from the creamy goodness of my old Butt Butter Buddy and the loopy, wandering weftiness of my favorite ragabond, Terry-- MY cool-as-a-summer breeze cottony self sliding up and over your burnin' backside is all yer gonna need, Mister.  And, lucky me, I never once had ta fight any pair a drawers over who was gonna get up close and personal to all those luscious man-parts.  It's just me.  Me, and those danged smoulderin' jeans that he'll hose down, patch up, and never let go.%%

(( ENNIS'S PERKY PRINT JAMMY PANTS crack like a whip in the fierce Wyoming wind as they cling to the tiny backyard clothesline, awaiting Ennis's return.))

[LauraGigs]

He thought he was too goddamn special to be buried in the family plot.

ENNIS [thinkin]:   He is.  Now gimme them ashes before I make you swallow 'bout half your teeth.

Maybe it's my sore ass that's makin' me so irritable.  (Like this-here cryptkeeper ain't enough...  I need to hose down these smoulderin jeans.  Wonder if there's a car-warsh near here?  Maybe I can get cleaned up before scatterin my little darlin.)


((   Maintains polite, but very sad, composure.   ))