Author Topic: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%  (Read 1681350 times)

Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4820 on: February 10, 2009, 04:31:27 pm »
<img src="http://www.divshare.com/img/midsize/2711862-0d1.jpg" border="0" />

<img src="http://www.divshare.com/img/midsize/1741859-a7b.jpg" border="0" />

**The sun and the moon are dropping by to wish the director a happy birthday!**
the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline LauraGigs

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4821 on: February 10, 2009, 05:57:55 pm »
Quote
MA TWIST (as played by Scarlett O'Hara)
((Wistfully clings to her shawl.))
**Ah.... Jack gave me this for mah birthday. Ah--**
((Takes one look into Ennis's eyes and recognizes how much Jack meant to him. She slowly peels off the tulle shawl and holds it open so Ennis can put the two shirts inside it, then she slowly, reverently wraps the shawl around the two shirts and hands it to him.))
((She looks at her husband for a moment and then lifts her chin proudly, though still overcome with sadness.))
Ah do hope you'll come back and see us again.

ENNIS, the tulle-wrapped shirts in his grip, turns to MA TWIST.

[softly]: Thank you for this.

Offline LauraGigs

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4822 on: February 10, 2009, 06:03:12 pm »
ENNIS:  %%  Here's hopin my truck starts after that blowup earlier and all . . . %%

As ENNIS crosses the desolate tract to his truck, the WARSHRAG falls from his back pocket, landing unnoticed among the debris from the explosion — not far from a certain worse-for-the-wear-and-tear TUBE.

Offline saucycobblers

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4823 on: October 26, 2009, 08:20:01 am »
(Having apparently been in a coma for nigh on 8 months, a very dusty and slightly sheep-trampled JBB gingerly opens his lid and takes in the sights around him)

%Hellfire! What in the name of Fayette Newsome's enormous beehive happened here?? One minute ah wuz a-queuein' for mah paycheck and the next thing ah wake up on the set of Gone with the Friggin' Wind?? Sheesh, that's the last time that Raganova Terry Cloth takes me out on the Sheep Pee Whiskey.. Ow, my lid...%

(Seeing Terry Cloth snoring gently a short distance away, JBB's thoughts turn to the errant director Welliwont, who owes him a fat paycheck but who apparently hasn't been seen in these parts for some months)

%Well a tube has gotta make a livin'. Seems there's still some folks around might want some smoothness in their lives, (spying Pa Twist) though some might even be beyond my slathering capabilities... Well, as my dear grandpappy Neutrogena used to say... Son, he used to say, when they give you your E45 the only way up is up. Yeah, I never understood that either, but I guess what it boils down to is I have to leave the glamour of my PT glory days behind and start a -sellin' my wares. Which of course involves breaking into...

...a song!!%

(To the tune of Nomad's 'I Wanna Give You Devotion)

I wanna give you my lotion, I wanna give you my lotion
I wanna give you my lotion, I wanna give you my lotion

I wanna give you a place to release your whealings
A shiny topskin without chemical peeling
A scrub and a massage with a sweet smellin' potion
With total skin brushing and cutaneous motion
And a lot of my lotion, I wanna give you my lotion

Well let's start here at the beginning of my tube trick,
To be too close to grime is not a merit
To squirt and hit your skin is what I aim for
Wait till I emolliate and that's a top score
Some tubes are long others with a squeeze
To scratch your epidermal itch when there's a cool breeze
Keepin' on and on and on and on till I get the job done, flaking's nearly gone

I wanna give you my lotion, I wanna give you my lotion
I wanna give you my lotion, I wanna give you my lotion

Well magical emolients, emolients are magical, vesical, follical, topical, epidermal
Expression lines are meant to be kept
Don't botox them from your brow, don’t need to inject
I have a toe, but there's a chilblain inside
It's getting me uptight for the sight is a fright
'Cause the fissure creeps in, creepin', creepin'
Slowly eruptin', spreadin', smoothly
'Cause an exfoliation nightmare can terrorise
Bunions came and up went the rise
Open your eyes and realise I'm cauterized
Like Savlon the slather he came and caught me
Lureen came but now she's lathered

I wanna give you my lotion
To brush and scrub and lose your cellulitis
Lock the moisture in and don't get upset
Rubbing in time with the finest quality
That's the time when you know that you're not acne
J double B, scrubbin' it down now


(JBB waits...)
« Last Edit: October 27, 2009, 03:29:05 am by Ellemeno »
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline Sashca1007

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4824 on: October 26, 2009, 05:08:26 pm »
ENNIS'S PERKY PRINT JAMMY PANTS -

%%What the...  ain't it a little early in the A.M. for somebody to be squeezin' out some big gooey song about butter an' lotion an' 'cute anus motion' (I'm all for that, but, what the hel-l-l??)? Wait a minnit!  Wait a dadburned slatherin' MINNIT!  "I wanna give you my lotion?"  'Tube Trick' is right! Only one little tube a goo that would be hawkin' his wares by croonin' a dirty ditty!  One naughty little squirt called... BUTT EFFIN' BUTTER! %%   ((E.P.P.J.P. leaps into Wyoming wind-whipped action, barreling straight for that aching little lid, hoping for a kiss of four year reunion proportions.  Something stops him mid-barrel, a peripheral vision of something on the ground.))   %% What IS that limp little sleepin' square of loops?!  Could it be?  Could it BE that little warm and wefty Downy-soft bundle of fluff that got my cotton starched under Ennis's bed that night?  TERRY?!  Oh, Terry, what are you doin', sleepin' here next to...  Dang it!  This ain't the first time for you two, neither! %%  ((Names like 'Slut Butter' and 'Greasy Shoprag' dance back into JAMMY PANTS' memory, but he clamps shut his fly-slot (ENNIS never uses it, nohow) and sits quietly for a moment.))

%% I was probly no fun, anyways.%%

 :'(
"From the vibration of the floorboard on which they both stood Ennis could feel how hard Jack was shaking."

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4825 on: October 27, 2009, 11:46:50 pm »
**Audiences don't fall in love with fun, friends... 8)**
« Last Edit: January 26, 2010, 10:10:39 am by Front-Ranger »
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline saucycobblers

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4826 on: October 30, 2009, 08:15:52 pm »
((JBB spies ol' Perky Pants wefting his way over and lookin' mighty starched an' all and something tightens in his tubing, an unfamiliar twitch around his fluted ridge. Seeing as he and Terry haven't had any high altitude fumbles in nigh on 2 effen years, JBB reckons it might be time to let some new piece of cloth open his flip top. Feeling at the same time guilty and a little flushed, JBB snaps his lid shut and runs his ridge edge idly through the dusty soil of the Twist residence, not knowing quite what to do))

%%Dammit, what's come over me? I ain't felt this way since I was a sample tube...((gulps))%%
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline saucycobblers

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4827 on: January 26, 2010, 10:03:52 am »


Audience member 1: How old was I when this darn performance started?

Audience member 2: Don't rightly know. But I remember Edith Piaf singing the overture.

Audience member 1: I'm gonna ask for my money back.

Audience member 2: You can't. We've gone decimal since then.

Audience member 1: I can't feel my ass.

Audience member 2: You still HAVE an ass??


Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4828 on: January 26, 2010, 10:47:50 am »
((Shadowy figures begin to gather on the stage, and a few dim lights start to appear))

A VOICE:
The curtain falls
Applause fades away
We rise and leave
And greet the day
...
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
« Reply #4829 on: January 26, 2010, 10:50:31 am »
((A solo voice is singing))

A VOICE:

The show is done
No more pretend
But still plays on
It will not end

We have been changed
We have been charged
The show plays on
Inside our hearts

It’s up to us
To find the way
To show the world
What we know today

For Jack and Ennis, JBL,
And Jammy Pants,
Monroe and Alma, Lureen and all,
And Warshrag too.

For Alma Junior and her Curt,
For absent Jenny and her voice coach,
For the mountain and the plain,
For all and everything,

(Sing with me!)
"chewing gum and duct tape"