This is an awesome thread! More ideas:
Leaning Against a Pickup Provacatively. Chasing Pack Mules (extra points for creative profanity). The Jack Rodeo Dance. The Cassie Hair Swing. Chilean Sheep-Dragging.
LaShawn Line Reading (Without stumbling. Extra credit if in one breath.)
"It's a good thing that you and Lu happened along when you did, or else we'd still be stuck on the side of the road in that dern pickup. I told Randall we oughta take the car, 'course he don't ever listen to me. He wouldn't listen to me if he was goin' deaf tomorrow. I told him it takes more than chewing gum and baling wire to fix that pickup. Well, he's never been very mechanical though."
or:
"When I was right out of SMU I coulda had my pick of pretty much any job in North Dallas, so my pick was Neiman Marcus which was a disaster because, honey, where clothes is concerned, I got no resistance, I was spending more than I made, more than Randall ever will make. We come out here thinking ranching was still big hats and Marlboros, boy, were we behind the times!"
or:
"…and then I pledged Tri Delt at SMU and I sure never thought I'd end up in a pokey little place like Childress, but then I met old Randall here at an Aggie game, and he was an animal husbandry major. So we been here a month, he got the foreman job over at Roy Taylor's ranch. Like it or not, here I am!"