Author Topic: Completed Brokeback Limericks!  (Read 15469 times)

Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #30 on: June 29, 2006, 11:54:57 pm »


"You better shut yer slop-bucket mouth"
"And while you're there you could head down south" .
"Wanna keep yer teeth? Go on, beg!"
"Well??  Do it! Or I'll break yer leg!"
"Fine!  I warned ya" ... "ow..ow..OUCH!!!" 


##-----------------------------------------------------##

He woke up with a top-grade headache.
Ennis mumbled, "What've I done, for God's sake?
Have my dreams just come true?
I just did it with you!
Hell, I still must be dreaming awake!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis stumbled out of the tent in a daze,
He wouldn't even give Jack a gaze,
He'd enjoyed the night's activities,
Had never experienced such festivies,
He thought, "I aint no queer!  Must be a phase!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack stood naked by the river,
The friggin cold made him shiver.
"He'll never talk to me again!", he sighed.
But to himself he belied,
there is hope yet, and more than a sliver!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Lureen had talent as a barrel racer,
and when she saw Jack Twist, she became a chaser,
she even uttered the matin' call,
and didn't know how hard she'd fall,
She thought if she came to close Jack would mace her!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack and Ennis shared an embrace
that had them both in a complete daze
Ennis savored Jack's musky smell,
And they craved Muscatel
since for THIS occasion, whiskey seemed out of place!




Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #31 on: June 29, 2006, 11:56:02 pm »

The blue heelers were on the job,
They were vigilant, tho' they weren't paid a bob.
But their work came with excellent perks;
They worked with two hunks who weren't jerks!
What those dogs got to see makes us squee, swoon and sob!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack could feel Ennis' breath on his neck,
His heart was beating wildly beneath his pecs.
With his eyes open wide,
He felt Ennis' rough hands on his side,
and he knew he was in for spectacular sex!   


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Lureen hid Jack's blue parka,
So he'd buy her a Marka.
She was peeved 'cause he was goin' fishing,
And she was truly wishing
That he'd stay home and ---k her!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

The minister was aching to kiss the bride,
Heck, could be his last chance for such a ride.
He thought: man, she is hot!
But the groom thought: She's not!
Bad news really on either side!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Pa Del Mar's driving was lousy,
That whiskey had made him drowsy.
Oooops! Was that the one curve?
but he was mean and this he did deserve.
But poor Mrs del Mar, so frail, tiny and mousy!




Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #32 on: July 16, 2006, 02:14:03 am »

Far away from the grieving plain
A man named Ennis hid his pain.
Then along came Jack who had a plan,
He knew for Ennis, he was The Man!
Their sweet mountain life felt right as rain.....


##-----------------------------------------------------##

He found twin shirts hanging in the closet,
Into Mrs. Twist's bag the shirts he did deposit,
He wept for Jack, missing him so bad.
The shirts his remembrance of what they'd had,
His tears fell, his eyes leaking like a dripping faucet.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis was muscular, lean as a clothes-pole,
He couldn't rock, but he sure could roll,
Jack was thin and could buck and twist,
and when he first saw Ennis, he couldn't resist
He was blown away, mind, body and soul!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis was dizzy, drunk and on all fours,
when he let his love for Jack run its course.
He was tired, sleepy, horny and drunk,
and into the cozy tent he would plunk,
Knowing Jack would always be his horse.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The distant mountains beckoned them,
To their powerful greatness, they would succumb
Kneeling to the kind of love
That is pure like a white dove.
The rose they continued to stem.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

His aim was bad, Ennis knew how Jack sucked,
"If I don't shoot an elk," Ennis thought, "we're phukt.
So Ennis pulled out his big gun, "Gonna Shoot!",
"No more beans for dinner", he said with a hoot,
So tent games they began to conduct



Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #33 on: July 16, 2006, 02:14:47 am »
The year was 1967,
Jack was meeting Ennis behind the 7/11.
They kissed like mad
What a great time they had!
Having on earth a bit of heaven!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

When he dreamed of Ennis, he broke into sweat
since he was the hottest guy Jack'd ever met,
so sportive and lean
(although too fond of beans).
Ennis made his lusty dreams vivid, wild, and wet!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

The best part of Ennis? Jack grinned,
Is that he finally sinned!
Within a dark tent,
He pounded Jack till he was spent.
They were sad when it came to an end.


Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #34 on: July 16, 2006, 02:16:43 am »
I can't smell no roses, said Jack
'Quit talking boy!' growled Ennis, 'On yer back!'
Jack's breathing quickened as he obeyed,
And in that position he stayed
He was blown away by Ennis' prowess in the sack!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

The boys reunited in the stairwell,
They could both feel their crotches swell,
Their lips then met,
The kiss was quite wet,
they were re-defining the term "a hard sell".


##-----------------------------------------------------##

They fell into the small motel bed,
Body to body, head to head
Naked as the day they were born,
They made love till they were worn.
Their sexual hunger had been fed.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

A lone cowboy arrives in Signal Wyoming,
All his life he's been roaming.
All his possessions in a brown paper bag,
self-conscious, too serious, not planning to brag
For love will follow the gloaming.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Tenderly, they held each other in the dark
but heartache had already left its mark.
So many hopes crushed, words unsaid
dreams gone pale, plans left for dead
As they listened to the sad tunes of a distant lark.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

I wish to punch Jimbo the Clown
for making Jack feel sad and down.
Who the hell does he think he is?
Well, a homophobe, that's hard to miss......
So he should be run out of town.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

What in the hell happened to August?
What do I do now with my lust?
with Randall its just not the same,
He's femme and weak and tame.
Searching for Ennis is now a must.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

We don't know much about Fayette,
She was quiet and submissive, I'd bet.
You knew she doted on Lureen,
whom she treated like a queen,
Her only mistake - not taking LD to the Vet.



Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #35 on: July 16, 2006, 02:17:33 am »
A Limerick Interlude!!   ;D





Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2006, 02:19:31 am »
I think I'll shoot one of the sheep
It could be a secret we can keep
I'll make you such a meal
What d'you say?  It's a deal?
Yes! I'll end up in a satisfied heap!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack and Randall sat on the bench
Neither thinking about a wench.
Nor of fishing, truth be told
Randall thought: shall I be bold?
'Cuz this Jack, he's quite a mensch.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Rodeoin' aint like it was in my Pa's day,
But I'll ride more than bulls, if I have my say
Don't matter if he's clipped or not
As long as he is smokin' hot!
You'll not stop me then! Just get out of my way!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Them lucky sheep sure got an eyeful
when Jack and Ennis got playful
The moans they must've heard,
overheated the herd
Especially when, of Jack, Ennis took a mouthful.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis took his daughters to town,
When he was with them, never a frown.
He bought them ice cream
They were quite the splendid team
For with his girls he could smile like a clown.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

I'll make him eat the phukin' floor,-
he screamed, - and then ran for the door
Now what?  Alma she knew!
He raced down to the Black and Blue,
Ennis couldn't hide his love for Jack any more.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis said "Jack, I'm so horny
And at the risk of sounding corny
You got the best-looking toosh I ever saw.
Now listen, I'll lay down the law
We walk this road together, 'tis our journey!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis learned the news via the US mail
He was crushed, his heart 'bout to fail.   
That one word "Deceased"
Was crushing, he couldn't be appeased.
'Twas a sad, tragic end to their tale.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack made Ennis smile so very wide,
They were at their best when they were side by side.
In midday sun or late at night,
when Jack washed clothes it was quite a sight,
They were together as long as they could ride.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

He fumbled with his belt buckle, breathing hard   
was bettin' everything on this one card:
Removing it, his bottom was bare,
Ennis wasn't running, that means he did care!
Betwixt them no holds were barred!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Damn!  It ain't  like this with girls,
said Jack, as he kissed Ennis' curls.
I love everything about you from head to toe,
Next time, let's do it nice and slow
When you kiss me, my whole world swirls!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

I'd love to be Ennis' warsh rag
Be almost as good as a long shag
All over his face, arms, legs and d**k     
A lil' water, a bit of clear slick...
I'd savor his taut muscles, def'nitely no sag...



Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #37 on: July 16, 2006, 02:21:10 am »
Young Ennis was highly attractive
and Jack Twist was Ennis-reactive
They were handsome young bucks,
Yearning hard for some f*cks ,
their days on the mountain were Active!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

It's Saturday, we could smarten up,
Let's go to the church social after we sup.
We'll be polite, and nod and smile
Even to those who happen to be vile.
Jack'll swirl in the hot dark o' my coffee cup.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

The fireworks lit up the night sky
The children didn't even cry
Ennis drew some blood
Dealing with some crud
Helping bikers learn to fly


##-----------------------------------------------------##

This lad named Ennis was from Sage,
He hardly spoke, but he was full of rage,
Got himself engaged to a lass called Alma,
and they planned a very simple wedding gala,
but after that he felt trapped in a cage.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Poor lil Jenny suffered from asthma
Continual wheezing made her feel blah
The poor little thing,
So much suff-er-ing,
For her as well as her Ma and Pa.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

There was a Grocer named Monroe,
who understood Alma's woe,
He wanted a piece
of her to release,
and couldn't wait to become her beau.



Ennis snapped, "I came upon a bear!",
"All we got is beans", he said in despair,
Jack said, "Let's have mutton!"
Ennis frowned, still cute as a button
And at Jack's crotch he had to stare!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

'Twas fun at Don Wroe's cabin, like a honeymoon
Like newlyweds in the month of June.
Making love was all they did,
'Cause it was their id
That gave 'em the sex drive of a baboon.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jimbo surely thought 'bout it twice
Cause Jack, no doubt, was kinda nice!
He'd be deeply sighing
Jack was desperate, horny, dying...
But Jimbo was scared, so'n Scheiß!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Monroe is kind hearted but dorky
And also a little bit porky
He loves his pipe
And the floor he may wipe
At the local diner Knife & Forky!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

As Ennis washed the pots and pans,
The horizon he still scans;
He saw Jack, wishing he could be with him
Maybe he'll ride down on a whim
Ennis watched intently, Jack deserved more than a glance.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

I wouldn't mind sleeping out there,
Them coyotes better beware!
For I got a gun
And it would be fun,
come with me if you dare!




Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2006, 02:22:54 am »
Jack can certainly peel a potato
Dreaming of his inamorato
He whips off that peel
Preparing the meal
While staring at Ennis's Tomatoes!

 :laugh:

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis's clothes were very, very dirty
But it never stopped Jack from being flirty
"I could wash them if you like?"
"But I'd really rather ride you like a bike!"
"Cos Jack, you are sooo purty!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack's truck approached in the distance,
Ennis looked up, throwing a glance
At this cute young cowboy
and at once hatched a ploy
But reconsidered, 'With him, I got no chance!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack pounded the shirt with a big stick,
While dreaming of a big dick
As he recalled the night before
He knew he wanted an encore
Twas what he wanted to touch, grab and lick.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis could've had Jack all those years
Instead he married Alma Beers
Together they stayed
And two children they made
But there was more sorrow than cheers.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

The stud duck refused to let Jack's ashes go,
So Ennis left the house in sorrow,
Clutching a brown paper bag,
Suppressing the urge to gag,
As the tears fell, he kept his down, low.



"I might head over to my daddy's place,"
A hopeful Jack stressed the "might" just in case
Ennis grunted, "I'll see ya around"
'Cause his feelings he kept underground
And his cowboy-hat covered his face.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

"Whoa, whoa...It aint gonna be that way,"
Ennis said to Jack's dismay.
He broke Jack's heart.
That wasn't so smart!
Jack had hoped Ennis would say: "I'm gay!"



Offline Lumière

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Re: Completed Brokeback Limericks!
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2006, 02:23:32 am »
BBM Limericks 1000 Posts Celebration!


We can celebrate with some of our Completed Limericks:
  ;D