A heartfelt thought

[jpwagoneer1964]

If I feel too sad about the movie I try to remember that Ennis and Jack did find each other, had a love that sustained a lifetime  despite increditible odds. Even though they were never yet to have the sweet life ( had Jack lived I believed they would at some point), if your a bit generous with the math they had over a years worth of days together aside from that first summer at Brokeback.
In some ways they were very fortunate.

[dly64]

I would have liked to experience a love with that much intensity. In that way, yes, I guess they were fortunate because they found their one-in-a-lifetime love. The tragedy is that Jack was willing to embrace it, but Ennis was too scared to even face the reality that he loved a man.

[Luvlylittlewing]

I agree with you.  Jack and Ennis' time together may have been too brief, but they loved enough for a lifetime.  They were very fortunate having found such a true love.  Forgive me if this is OT, but I just had a thought.  Poor Ennis! Jack's death would have been so much easier to accept if Jack's life had been happier.  Ennis, of course, had a lot of memories of Jack to comfort him, but he was also haunted by thoughts of what if, what could have been, probably wondering how Jack would remember their difficult lives, how Jack would remember him!

[Brown Eyes]

In some ways they were very fortunate.

Wow, you managed to sum up my very first reaction to BBM after my first theater viewing.  I remember walking out of the cinema thinking, "that was a really sad movie... BUT, those guys were incredibly lucky!"  That's the amazing thing about the ending... it's happy and tremendously sad all at the same time.  Happy in that, I at least came away thinking that for them to have found each other and to have had 20 years was wonderful (even if their love was contrained by lots of obstacles... there's no doubt that they did love each other... and this is doubly confirmed by Ennis's "Jack I swear...").  And well, we all know the million reasons why it's sad too.  For me maybe the greatest tragedy is the lost time/ regret that Ennis will have to "stand" now that Jack is gone.  They could have had so much more consistent time over those 20 years...
 

[dly64]

Wow, you managed to sum up my very first reaction to BBM after my first theater viewing.  I remember walking out of the cinema thinking, "that was a really sad movie... BUT, those guys were incredibly lucky!"  That's the amazing thing about the ending... it's happy and tremendously sad all at the same time.  Happy in that, I at least came away thinking that for them to have found each other and to have had 20 years was wonderful (even if their love was contrained by lots of obstacles... there's no doubt that they did love each other... and this is doubly confirmed by Ennis's "Jack I swear...").  And well, we all know the million reasons why it's sad too.  For me maybe the greatest tragedy is the lost time/ regret that Ennis will have to "stand" now that Jack is gone.  They could have had so much more consistent time over those 20 years...

I think what all of you have said ... jpwagoner, littlewing, and atz75 .... hits the nail on the head. This film is tragic, yet it illustrates an enduring and passionate love. How many people do you know who have been able to stay together for 20 years? Not many. The rarity to find someone who can understand you and truly knows you is a gift.

They loved each other. They were not just "in" love with each other. It sounds like semantics, but IMO, it's not. To love someone is to love all parts of the person ... the good, the bad, the ugly .... to work through the hard times, and to be dedicated to each other no matter what happens. When I hear the saying "in love," that means a person can easily fall out of love. And, although Jack said, "I wish I knew how to quit you," the reality was he couldn't ... his love for Ennis was too strong. (sigh .... I wish I knew what that was like!!!)   

[Luvlylittlewing]

I think what all of you have said ... jpwagoner, littlewing, and atz75 .... hits the nail on the head. This film is tragic, yet it illustrates an enduring and passionate love. How many people do you know who have been able to stay together for 20 years? Not many. The rarity to find someone who can understand you and truly knows you is a gift.

They loved each other. They were not just "in" love with each other. It sounds like semantics, but IMO, it's not. To love someone is to love all parts of the person ... the good, the bad, the ugly .... to work through the hard times, and to be dedicated to each other no matter what happens. When I hear the saying "in love," that means a person can easily fall out of love. And, although Jack said, "I wish I knew how to quit you," the reality was he couldn't ... his love for Ennis was too strong. (sigh .... I wish I knew what that was like!!!)  
 

Jack and Ennis loved each other as well as being in love!  Diane, this is so true.  You know, I don't even think Jack fell out of love with Ennis.  Even after all Ennis put Jack through, I'm convinced he still had a deep romantic love, a passion for him.  Jack certainly continued to love Ennis in the sense that he loved his son, his parents.  Jack thought nothing of driving thousands of miles to see Ennis a few times a year, probably would have made the trip a lot more often if Ennis wanted it.  Ennis loved Jack just as much, even though he couldn't own it.  I can't even image that kind of love.  And I can't  undersatnd how some people don't see the love!  I can feel the love they had for one another it was so powerful, so real!

[serious crayons]

They loved each other. They were not just "in" love with each other. It sounds like semantics, but IMO, it's not. To love someone is to love all parts of the person ... the good, the bad, the ugly .... to work through the hard times, and to be dedicated to each other no matter what happens. When I hear the saying "in love," that means a person can easily fall out of love.

That's interesting. I make a distinction, too, but in a different way. To me, "love each other" means just that -- it could apply to romantic partners, but could also describe a parent-child bond, or a close friendship, or other nonromantic relationships. But I would not use "in love with each other" to describe a parent-child or close-friend relationship. To me, somehow, that little addition of the word "in" takes it to a whole new level.

Jack and Ennis were lucky enough to have both.

[Samrim]

Hello everyone, While I agree that the boys relationship was very special indeed, as a gay man who has NEVER had a relationship (I'm much too old now anyway), I feel that the whole story is of regret and failure and loss. Not their fault, blame 'society', but all that love, just gone down the drain. I did it many years ago so I know what it's like
I seem to be in a rather bitter mood tonight, please forgive me,  but all the palliative noises about them having FOUND each other, seems worth very little compared with their lives of regret and loss. Maybe they might have had happier, less dramatic lives, had they never met. I realize I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, what do you think. I love the boys to distraction, but pity then too. sam

[Luvlylittlewing]

Hello everyone, While I agree that the boys relationship was very special indeed, as a gay man who has NEVER had a relationship (I'm much too old now anyway), I feel that the whole story is of regret and failure and loss. Not their fault, blame 'society', but all that love, just gone down the drain. I did it many years ago so I know what it's like
I seem to be in a rather bitter mood tonight, please forgive me,  but all the palliative noises about them having FOUND each other, seems worth very little compared with their lives of regret and loss. Maybe they might have had happier, less dramatic lives, had they never met. I realize I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, what do you think. I love the boys to distraction, but pity then too. sam

Sam remember me?  I'm so glad to see you here!  You make a very good point, Sam.  I remember thinking this very same thing whenever I see the scene of the boys leaving Brokeback.   Ennis, realizing that his life will never be the same after meeting and falling in love with Jack, doubles over in severe emotional pain of regret, IMO!  Somehow I imagine Ennis thinking while he is dry heaving, "Why did I have to meet him?  I love him, but I may never see him again.  My life is turned upside down! I wish I had never met him, never arrived at Brokeback in the first place!"

But then again, there is that old cliche, better to have loved and lost.....

[ZouBEini]

Hello everyone, While I agree that the boys relationship was very special indeed, as a gay man who has NEVER had a relationship (I'm much too old now anyway), I feel that the whole story is of regret and failure and loss. Not their fault, blame 'society', but all that love, just gone down the drain. I did it many years ago so I know what it's like
I seem to be in a rather bitter mood tonight, please forgive me,  but all the palliative noises about them having FOUND each other, seems worth very little compared with their lives of regret and loss. Maybe they might have had happier, less dramatic lives, had they never met. I realize I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, what do you think. I love the boys to distraction, but pity then too. sam

Hello Sam, I like to think there is someone for everyone and that we're never too old for love. I also like to play Devi's Advocate, BTW, but I think it's important to remain open to the possibilities. I have, and hope you're able to do so also.   

Personally, the only things I regret are the ones I never tried.  Just my two cents' worth.

Anyway - nice to meet you!  


Hi Littlewing!  I'm stalking you, but not in a creepy way.   

~Larz