TOTW 28/08: All them things unsaid...

[southendmd]

I think the closest  anyone got to I love you was Jack:

"Tell you what...truth is...sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."

That's pretty darn close, and Ennis is speechless.

[mariez]

I think the closest  anyone got to I love you was Jack:

"Tell you what...truth is...sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."

That's pretty darn close, and Ennis is speechless.

I think that's pretty darn close, too.  Good point.  And that line in the movie packs a whole lot more punch than the equivalent line in the story about "he missed Ennis bad enough sometimes to make him whip babies."

I also think Ennis had a "close-to-an-I-love-you" line (although he wouldn't be aware of it) in the movie when he tells Jack "there ain't no reins on this one," and gives that shuddering breath, swallowing hard to fight back his tears.  I think Jack realizes this, too, which is why we get that lovely comforting hand gesture on Ennis's cheek.  Sigh.

Marie

[southendmd]

I think that's pretty darn close, too.  Good point.  And that line in the movie packs a whole lot more punch than the equivalent line in the story about "he missed Ennis bad enough sometimes to make him whip babies."

I also think Ennis had a "close-to-an-I-love-you" line (although he wouldn't be aware of it) in the movie when he tells Jack "there ain't no reins on this one," and gives that shuddering breath, swallowing hard to fight back his tears.  I think Jack realizes this, too, which is why we get that lovely comforting hand gesture on Ennis's cheek.  Sigh.

Marie

Right, Marie.  Also, just before that, Ennis says his line, "I was just sendin' up a prayer of thanks" is pretty mushy for Ennis.  Imagine the rest of that sentence:  for finding you again...

Of course, Jack goes "fishing" with his "fur what?" and Ennis has to make a joke out of it.

[August7th]

Alma’s five-year silence about the embrace she witnesses between Ennis and Jack is a very important one of “them things unsaid.”

Annie Proux makes clear in the short story that the embrace is only one reason – and apparently not necessarily the most important reason – Alma divorces Ennis. But it obviously preyed on Alma’s mind, as evidenced by the Thanksgiving dinner incident.

Suppose Alma had said something to Ennis earlier, while they were still married. As he packed for one of his “fishing trips,” what if she had said, “I know what you two are doing, and if you go I’m going to tell people about it.” What would have happened? Would Ennis have been scared out of seeing Jack again? Would he have been scared out of Riverton and gone away with Jack? Alma’s silence is necessary to the story for it to play out as it does.

[optom3]

Alma’s five-year silence about the embrace she witnesses between Ennis and Jack is a very important one of “them things unsaid.”

Annie Proux makes clear in the short story that the embrace is only one reason – and apparently not necessarily the most important reason – Alma divorces Ennis. But it obviously preyed on Alma’s mind, as evidenced by the Thanksgiving dinner incident.

Suppose Alma had said something to Ennis earlier, while they were still married. As he packed for one of his “fishing trips,” what if she had said, “I know what you two are doing, and if you go I’m going to tell people about it.” What would have happened? Would Ennis have been scared out of seeing Jack again? Would he have been scared out of Riverton and gone away with Jack? Alma’s silence is necessary to the story for it to play out as it does.

I agree that in some ways the story pans out the way it does because of Alma leaving some things unsaid.
However I do not think under any circumstances that she would have ever said anything. Partly,I think because she had a major problem actually processing what she saw. The other problem being that the shame she would have felt if it became open knowledge about Ennis would have mentally crippled her.

It would not just affect her, but also her daughters future happiness and I believe stability as well.Particularly within that harsh environment.

It interests me that none of those involved in a relationship,say I love you, not even a childish I love you from the children to their mum or dad. I do not know enough of American culture of that time and place to understand if this was quite common.

Was the deprivation so all pervasive  it precludes  any ability to express love as in those 3 little words.

[Mandy21]

Fiona, having been born in Oklahoma in 1966, I can't speak fully about 1963 Wyoming culture.  Only thing I can add to your post is that the words "I love you" were never, ever spoken in my house, up until 1984, when dad was driving me away to college, and that was the first time in my life that I said it to my mom, on the front porch.  She looked shocked, but happy, to hear it, and she said she loved me too.  I think there are certain, more stoic, families and places in America, where words just get left unspoken by choice.  It's unthinkable to say such things that might get you into trouble or get you in deeper into a situation.  It's just understood from day one, that you don't say certain things.

I would have to agree with Sue/Katie77 that those three words between Ennis and Jack that were never spoken in the film, were indeed expressed in other ways.  All it takes is one look between two people to tell that they're in love forever.  And we, as viewers, got to see that look time and time again, starting from the bar scene, to the Jack and filly scene, to the Ennis looking up at the sky scene, worried, and so on and so on.  Words are just words.  They come and go, and can be taken back, and apologized for, and regretted.  They can be true or false, or half-lies, or half-truths. 

But the eyes never lie...

[Katie77]

Yes.....being a child of the fifties and sixties too, I remember the words "I love you" were not said, as commonly as they are today...and maybe that was because our parents did not have it said to them as they grew up in the twenties and thirties.

Family and friends are much more outgoing with the feelings towards one another these days. Maybe we have seen too many people regret not saying those words until after their parent or partner have passed away.

The sixties were the start of the LOVE generation....music was telling us to love our fellow man, love our friends....flower children, were out there openly expressing love to everyone. We became more aware of our mortality, and wanted to let people know how we felt before it was too late. Then when we became parents, we told our kids every day that we loved them, and then they in turn told their kids.

Ennis and Jack would not have heard those words spoken around their homes when they were young.

[Mandy21]

Hey Sue, I would agree completely.  My dad was born in 1927, mom in 1928, both in the middle of nowhere in Kansas, during the Depression.  Mom lost both her folks before she was 10, and dad lost his sister around the same age.  All there was at that time (kind of like now) was survival.  Who in the world had time for such frivolity as love???  From Annie's story, I got the distinct feeling that those two young men grew up in a world very similar.  I mean, can you possibly imagine OMT saying ILY to the Mrs.?   And we never get to know if the DelMar's, before the one curve in the road, said it, but I doubt it highly.

[Front-Ranger]

I believe that Jack wanted to tell Ennis that he loved him and would have said it many times but a look or just a vibe from Ennis stopped him from saying it. And then it became part of the unsaid pact between them. This was hinted at in the story which says there were many sounds but "not a word was said."

They also had a secret language of code words "normal and all?" "boys like you" "nobody's business but ours" and so many others. "Jack Fuckin Twist" was a code name and also a Freudian slip, don't you think?