question about integrity

[maggiesmommy GayLee]

there is a gal at the office.  She has been married x2 and has 2 kids.  She is now living with a woman, they are a couple.  She loves to talk about how she is turned on by this gal and the gal owns a house, which "r" and her kids are living in with her..she bought "r" a car, loaned her money...they act just like a married couple...EXCEPT...and here is the rub, because i think the realtionship would be wonderful if not for this.....she has told me and a couple of other people, and i can't imagine WHY, but she did, that she is not really a lesbian, but will "play the game" to have a nice place to live, a second income and someone to help her with the kids...and besides, she likes oral sex and guys only want to "get" not "give"...wahtever,,,,anyway...i think this is awful...the other gal thinks she is in "LOVE" with her!! and that they would be married if they were allowed to be and here she is telling us that she is using her partner to get what she wants...she (the partner) will be devistated if she finds out, and she will, cus "r" is a USER big time..and it won't last any longer than it has to, when she finds somebody...guy or gal, to give her more..she'll be the hell outta there....i think this is just disgraceful and i have NO respect for her at all and wish i could rat her out, i f i had the courage.... i feel sorry for the partner, she is just making a fool out of her to all of us and it is hard when we are all together at social functions to know how to act....gawd....people can be so damn cruel...
jsut wondered what you all thought of this kind of stuff going on...
gay lee

[Ellemeno]

Maybe the partner picks up on all of it, and for whatever reason, is willing to play the game too. 

[vkm91941]

Gaylee, like you I am appalled and disgusted by this woman's behavior.  

Either she is such a REALLY selfish and self absorbed person who is so emotionally bankrupt that she never considers the thoughts, needs and feelings of others OR she is a terribly conflicted person with no moral center and no sense of self worth and thinks she will only be accepted if she plays the "I'm not really a Lesbian" card no matter how it makes her look otherwise.  Either way she is a VERY emotionally immature and not fit be a mother or the partner in a committed relationship.   Sad very sad, not much you can do though, the other woman probably would not believe you anyway.  People are often blind when they think they are in love.

 

[Kelda]

Maybe the partner picks up on all of it, and for whatever reason, is willing to play the game too. 

a sad sad situation to be in.

ditto what Vic said.

Perhaps this woman is enjoying her new life but has to play the "I'm not really a Lesbian" card, but still what a way to go about it. Has she been saying this to people she believes she can trust or all and sundry?

Karma is a wonderful thing, I beleive she will get her cumupence.

[Katie77]

Well this 'r' doesnt sound like a nice person at all....a real "user"...who will one day become a real "loser"...

Unfortunately there are people like this who use other people to their own advantage, without any concience...I'm sure if she keeps telling everyone what she doing, the word will eventually get around to her partner, and then she can deal with it whichever way she choses.

Its the  children I feel sorry for, they are in a secure home with a sense of belonging, to not only the partner, but in the community and their schools, and then most probably will be uplifted out of their comfort zone and moved somewhere else....that is very sad.

[Jeff Wrangler]

I think it's disgraceful, too. But however much the tempation, don't "rat her out." Absolutely no one will thank you for it, and in the end you will end up looking like the bad guy, rather than "r."

[maggiesmommy GayLee]

she is just telling a few of us, but seems to want US to tell, even though she asked us not to....
to me it is just a sad situation, and yes, the kids will suffer.  she talks about this gal badly, and pushes her around and is pretty verbally cruel to her..but she is so besotted with R that she just takes it...
i also believe in Karma....and eventually, it will come back to bite her in the butt, even though i might never know when it happens...but it will, i am sure of that....i told her etodya that i wasn't interested in her drama queen crap and not to tell me anything she didn't want known, because i had no obligation to keep her secrets, which i found disgusting....SOOOOO i don't think we'll be "sharing" anymore.....i didn't want to have bad feelings at work, but after hearing her crap today, i decided i really didn't care, and just don't want to hear her voice...so i'm out....but i will keep her partner, or should i say VICTIM, in my thoughts....IF she is a lesbian....she deeply dislikes her partner....but stays for what she can get...if she ISN'T, then its worse, because she is lying about the basic foundation of her being, also for what she can get...a true whore... can you tell i can't stand the lying b***h??
thanks for your feelings about the subject  
gay lee

[Sheyne]

This is appalling Gay Lee...

What a vile human being she'd be!  You hear about people like this, but to actually know one....

I think integrity is one of the most important qualities a person can have. Without you, you're a nothing. You're lower than a rat. Basic honesty, good principles and morals... This woman must be seriously lacking to do what she is doing.  Worse than lying to her partner, the poor woman, she's lying to herself.

Odd though, that she's so keen to tell everybody around her of her folly.  Is she hoping to get caught or what?

[maggiesmommy GayLee]

yes, many words desctibe this woman...odd is certainly one that springs to mind, and many many others...she is a puzzle for sure, but i just feel for her kids and partner...she should be locked up, cuz if she's not crazy then she is very, very mean
gl