Women and Marriage

[serious crayons]

I meant to comment on the long article you posted a while back, "The bride was 7: In the heart of Ethiopia, child marriage takes a brutal toll".  But, honestly it's so depressing that it's hard to even read it let alone think of things to say.  It's sort of a "speechless" moment.

In a way, I hate reading things like that article because it seems so tip of the iceberg. I start thinking about how many millions and millions and millions of women's and children's lives have been damaged throughout human history, around the world, by these kinds of oppressive, cruel customs.

OK now, as we were saying in another thread, have a nice day! 

[Artiste]

Interesting !

[delalluvia]

In a way, I hate reading things like that article because it seems so tip of the iceberg. I start thinking about how many millions and millions and millions of women's and children's lives have been damaged throughout human history, around the world, by these kinds of oppressive, cruel customs.

OK now, as we were saying in another thread, have a nice day! 

And, as they say, the sky is still above us and the earth is still below and life goes on.  It really puts you in your place to see how little the universe cares about human suffering. 

[LauraGigs]

I meant to comment on the long article you posted a while back, "The bride was 7: In the heart of Ethiopia, child marriage takes a brutal toll".  But, honestly it's so depressing that it's hard to even read it let alone think of things to say.  It's sort of a "speechless" moment.

In a way, I hate reading things like that article because it seems so tip of the iceberg. I start thinking about how many millions and millions and millions of women's and children's lives have been damaged throughout human history, around the world, by these kinds of oppressive, cruel customs.

Yeah, if this thread is about marriage (of the kind any of us are likely to consider) I don't even know if those stories are even pertinent. Those articles are about slavery; "marriage" is a misnomer. To borrow a phrase: it's like hitting someone over the head with a frying pan and calling it cooking.

[Brown Eyes]

To borrow a phrase: it's like hitting someone over the head with a frying pan and calling it cooking.

Not to make light of all of this... but this really is a great phrase.

[delalluvia]

Yeah, if this thread is about marriage (of the kind any of us are likely to consider) I don't even know if those stories are even pertinent. Those articles are about slavery; "marriage" is a misnomer. To borrow a phrase: it's like hitting someone over the head with a frying pan and calling it cooking.

Are we talking about marriage as a "love/equal partner match" or marriage the institution?  If we're talking about Western style love match marriages, then yes, these articles are beside the point.  But if we're talking about the reasons behind marriages and the institution itself, then these articles are pertinent. 

Obviously in societies where there is no niche for single women to live on their own as individuals, the only way women will find status in their cultures is through marriage, no matter at what age, and thus their marriages - however we see them - are successful and do provide what they're meant to.

[Front-Ranger]

Yeah, if this thread is about marriage (of the kind any of us are likely to consider) I don't even know if those stories are even pertinent. Those articles are about slavery; "marriage" is a misnomer. To borrow a phrase: it's like hitting someone over the head with a frying pan and calling it cooking.

I love it!!

[Brown Eyes]

Are we talking about marriage as a "love/equal partner match" or marriage the institution?  If we're talking about Western style love match marriages, then yes, these articles are beside the point.  But if we're talking about the reasons behind marriages and the institution itself, then these articles are pertinent. 

Obviously in societies where there is no niche for single women to live on their own as individuals, the only way women will find status in their cultures is through marriage, no matter at what age, and thus their marriages - however we see them - are successful and do provide what they're meant to.

My feeling is that this thread should be about both topics.  Marriage as an institution (internationally) and what the institution means in different contexts.  And, I think the thread can drift into discussions about love, compatibility, personal experiences, etc.

I would imagine that how people feel about the history of marriage or the state of marriage in other parts of the world or in other cultures might impact how they feel about marriage on a personal level too.  So, these types of discussions about marriage can blend together.

[MaineWriter]

I understand what you mean here opinionista.  I think of my last name (my father's name) as a part of my identity because I've always had it all my life.  It would be hard to imagine all of a sudden calling myself something else.

The duration of the association with the name seems important.  And, also practical things like my degrees are in my current name, etc.  I wouldn't be willing to change it really.  Not that it matters (since there's no chance of me marrying a man)... but hypothetically speaking.

Well, you could change your name, even if you married a woman. I read that Portia de Rossi is changing her last name to De Generes.

I've been married 30 years. I kept my name when I got married and our two children have my last name. All the things people said would come to pass: confusion, errors, loss of identity, etc. etc. (you should have heard some of the crazy things people said to try to talk my husband and I out of this decision) never happened.

I like being married. I truly believe that if I were me in every way that I am now, except for being a lesbian, I would still want to be married to the woman I love (if that makes sense). Marriage has given my life stability and focus and I think it is an important part of who I am.

L

[serious crayons]

our two children have my last name.

If I may ask, how did you decide to do it that way, Leslie?