Author Topic: <-- Introduce Yourself -->  (Read 675288 times)

Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1080 on: June 10, 2008, 11:30:36 am »


Ninisin and Deaner


the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline Kelda

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1081 on: June 10, 2008, 06:28:02 pm »
Welcome!!
http://www.idbrass.com

Please use the following links when shopping online -It will help us raise money without costing you a penny.

http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/idb

http://idb.easysearch.org.uk/

Offline ChrisC

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1082 on: June 14, 2008, 06:31:24 pm »
Hello everybody,

I’ve been a member for a couple of days now,  and spent most of that time trawling through some of the thousands of threads here, so I think I’m going to be here for sometime to come.

So with that in mind I think I should introduce myself and tell you a bit about myself and how I arrived here:

My name is Chris, I’m gay and live in Plymouth UK, I’ve lived here almost 20 years, moving from Reading with my first true love.  This relationship was very intense, fired by passion, but unfortunately short lived, lasting only 3 years.  Within one year of moving to Plymouth we parted company, I was so hurt at the time.  They say time is a healer and to some extent it was, we both got on with our separate lives and occasionally our paths would cross, maybe once or twice a year and catch-up on “old times”. 

It was almost 13 years ago I met my second true love, I considered myself lucky finding somebody I utterly adored.  Initially we lived apart (over an hours drive away) for 6 months but wrote to each other almost on a daily basis.  Then, quite unexpectedly, over the next 12 years, our relationship developed into deep meaningful richness, that I have never experienced before.  It was almost as though we could read each others minds, even when apart.  This was all to change in Jan 2008, out of the blue, he wanted to leave me,  he’d found somebody else.  I was gutted.  My life was effectively over.

Since then I have been coming to terms with my loss, and getting used to the lonely nights in.  I know that we will not get back together again, but I do miss him terribly, with so many material object that surround me just remind me of him.

Well, it was one of those lonely nights, about 3 weeks ago, I was looking for a film to watch on DVD and happened across BBM, it was a present from a friend to my ‘now ex’ sometime ago but he had never wanted to watch it, (mind you, he didn’t want to see it at the cinema either) so I sat and watched it.  OMG I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since, I’ve watched it every week now.  There are so many instances I can relate too, I’ve never seen a film like it that has had such a prolific effect on me, it makes me sad, happy and heavy hearted all at the same time.  I’ve even been to the local library too, they have the original AP Brokeback Mountain novel and I’ve read this 3 times as well.  And to top it all, today I’ve been online and bought my own copy.  I’m just totally consumed.......is this normal?

I hope that is not too much of a rant on my first introduction, but I felt that I needed to give you some of my background leading to the inspiration BBM has given me.

On a slightly brighter note, in recent months, I have been catching up with ‘my first love’ again, to my surprise there is still that spark......faint but still there.  Most probably nothing will come of it though, not sure if I want it too.

Chris

Offline David In Indy

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1083 on: June 14, 2008, 06:37:15 pm »
I’m just totally consumed.......is this normal?



It's normal Chris! :)

Welcome to Bettermost! I'm glad you found your way here! :D

David. xx
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Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1084 on: June 14, 2008, 07:58:20 pm »
It's normal Chris! :)

Welcome to Bettermost! I'm glad you found your way here! :D

David. xx

Yep!  I'd say being consumed with BBM is a completely normal symptom of Brokie-fever... and I think all of us here at BetterMost have gone through it... and are still going through Brokie fever.

Thanks for that great introductory post and welcome to BetterMost Chris!  :D



the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline jstephens9

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1085 on: June 14, 2008, 08:06:27 pm »
Welcome Chris and thanks for relaying your story to us. I definitely think what you are experiencing is very normal. I know it is for all of us on the forum. There are absolutely some wonderful people on here. There is no doubt about that. I don't know of a more down to earth and understanding group of people. So I hope you will post often and let us get to know you.

Jack

Offline optom3

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1086 on: June 15, 2008, 12:10:52 am »
Hi Chris,
if it isn't normal then there you are in good company here.I think pretty well everyone has experienced what you are going through.Plenty are still going through it 2 years later.Only the other night,I was sifting through some Heath interviews on youtube,he was asked if he had realised at the time,how profound an effect it would have on people.He replied no, and was glad at the time of filming he did not, as he felt it would have been too heavy a burden.He was however pretty pleased at the effect.
So pop by and rant at any time,I sure do.

Offline ChrisC

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1087 on: June 15, 2008, 02:04:35 pm »
Thank you everybody for making me feel so welcome.

There are so many wonderful, and heart rendering posts here, it makes me realise how vunerable we can all be, fragile yet strong throughout.  Since my onset of Brokie-Fever I realise that part of the cure is to change my life around, I can fix this, I keep saying to myself - it's gonna take a while but it can be done.

Since my long time relationship ended earlier this year, I've sort of shut myself away (apart from going to work of course), don't get me wrong people have been supportive but they don't really understand. But seeing BBM, and reading some of the comments posted here, I'm starting to understand that other peoples journeys are so similar.  I've since come to realise there are so many things I need to do, some I'd never even considered before.  You see, I think the problem with being in such a long term relationship with the man I adored, is that I lived for him and forgot about myself, and now I must change that, and do those things.

It's still early days yet, but I'm up beat about this.

Chris xx

Offline jstephens9

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1088 on: June 15, 2008, 02:24:36 pm »
Thank you everybody for making me feel so welcome.

There are so many wonderful, and heart rendering posts here, it makes me realise how vunerable we can all be, fragile yet strong throughout.  Since my onset of Brokie-Fever I realise that part of the cure is to change my life around, I can fix this, I keep saying to myself - it's gonna take a while but it can be done.

Since my long time relationship ended earlier this year, I've sort of shut myself away (apart from going to work of course), don't get me wrong people have been supportive but they don't really understand. But seeing BBM, and reading some of the comments posted here, I'm starting to understand that other peoples journeys are so similar.  I've since come to realise there are so many things I need to do, some I'd never even considered before.  You see, I think the problem with being in such a long term relationship with the man I adored, is that I lived for him and forgot about myself, and now I must change that, and do those things.

It's still early days yet, but I'm up beat about this.

Chris xx

You are indeed on a new journey Chris. I can completely relate to what you are saying. I too was in a long term relationship that ended very badly. The relationship should have ended a long time before it did. I kept thinking it should work so I kept trying. However, things got so bad that I completely lost all feelings that I had for the guy. I realized that I was living for him and forgetting about myself. That is not a good thing, but I didn't realize until much later how much of my life I had given up for him. I guess there is a certain amount of resentment in me for allowing myself to end up in that situation. However, I did after all do it to myself. So since then I have done many things to change, fix, and turn my life around. It seems I have been on adventures that at one time I would not have done. Those things including overcoming obstacles have given me a true sense of self satisfaction. I am by no means fixed, but at least I feel I am heading in the right direction. The one thing that I do not really consider as positive is the fact that I have built up a lot of walls. Some people have succeeded in getting through some of those walls, but I do still have quite a barrier built up around me. Like you I have in many ways shut myself off, but the people here have truly helped me realize that I am not alone.

Offline Kelda

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #1089 on: June 16, 2008, 02:54:30 pm »
Another Brit! Yay! I'm Kelda, female and 26 and I live just outside Glasgow. You're feelings are perfectly normal - so welcome and enjoy the start of this ride!
http://www.idbrass.com

Please use the following links when shopping online -It will help us raise money without costing you a penny.

http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/idb

http://idb.easysearch.org.uk/