I kept thinking afterwards of the Auden poem I love: Funeral Blues
The poem is a fitting way to express Ennis' grief and the grief that many share after seeing the movie. It's beautiful, Kea, thanks for posting it.
Rayn
I love that poem, too, and think it's absolutely fitting.
I think I just felt stunned after seeing this the first time. Looking back on it, I really think I was in the first of the five stages of grief. Like you said, Sarah - it's as if I resisted, repressed talking or even thinking about it at first for fear of dissolving into a river of tears if I did. When someone said to me the next day, "I'm tired of all the crappy movies that are out these days." All I could say was, "Well, if you want to see a *really* good one, see 'Brokeback Mountain.' I just saw that yesterday." She said, "Oh, yeah? It was really good, huh?" And all I could say was "Yeah. It was really good." It was one of the most retarded conversations I've ever had. Me - a self-proclaimed film buff - and that's all I could muster. It was like Ennis' "Me? I, uh, I dunno..."
I think I've been trapped in the Bargaining Stage for the last few months, now. I think I covered the Anger Stage very nicely on and after March 5. Bargaining is the stage where we do the most talking about our grief, isn't it? Usually, it's just in our own minds. But mercifully we have a place here where there's a great deal of company for our misery.
I just lent my screener DVD to a co-worker this past week. She loved the movie so much, she watched it twice - two nights in a row - before she gave it back. After the first time, we talked about it for a good fifteen minutes over coffee. She came back later to share a couple more thoughts she'd had. I thought, "Uh-oh. She has *no idea* how hard this is gonna keep hitting her." Like I said over at the old CT, she said she's a sucker for a good love story, and this was the best one she'd ever seen. After her second viewing, I asked her how her husband had liked it (he hadn't watched it with her the first time, but she wanted him to see it the second). She said "He really enjoyed it. We talked about it for, like, an hour afterwards. He thought it was really beautiful and well-done on every level, but..." And I said, "But he wasn't moved like you were, right?" She said, "Exactly." The way she looked at me then, so sorrowfully - my heart just went out to her. I said, "Same with my husband. Well, you know where to find me..." She goes, "Yeah, I get the feeling I'll be finding you A LOT."