Ennis was playing his part.

[Kajunite]

Much discussion (and it is great!) about the domestic scenes of Ennis, Alma, children, jobs, society, religion, et al in several threads have taken place and there are some wonderful points made.  Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't the whole point to show Ennis playing these parts as he was taught early on.  The kicking the can; condiments; going to the church social; care of the kids idea was to make him just another ordinary, somewhat chauvanistic straight man trying to live as he was taught.  Ennis and Alma both played their parts well. 

I have a brother-in-law who has played this part well.  Obviously it does not take much intelligence or skill but all of your growing up years are put in training to be this persona.  It took my sister 30 years to finally get my brother-in-law to stop saying, "When are you gonna get married, boy?"
Ennis was trained to look and act like he did and I hope I don't offend, but so was Alma.  She played her part as she was trained. This was the time and setting for that kind of life.  They were trying to play their parts as best they could.

But there was a problem; Ennis had this gay cowboy nipping at his heels like a bad puppy.  The whole point was Ennis trying to play that cowboy part much like he had been trained to do.  He tried so hard to conform the role of Jack into his life like he had learned from early on.  It did not work that way and he ended up not playing any part at all and left alone isolated in a run down trailer out in the middle of nowhere trying to make his mailbox presentable.  Sad. 

The trappings that social cultures put on children growing up are heavy and bundlesome and how the hell do you get rid of them?  This movie has made me aware and even get rid of some of them, but I still have some to go.  And I am 61.  Getting there...

[Jeff Wrangler]

Ennis was trained to look and act like he did and I hope I don't offend, but so was Alma.  She played her part as she was trained. This was the time and setting for that kind of life.  They were trying to play their parts as best they could.

I agree, Kajunite. I think another way to say this is that Alma was raised with the same set of cultural assumptions as Ennis.

[Brown Eyes]

Welcome to bettermos Kajunite!  Grab a cup of coffee and a piece of cherry cake.
 

Nice post.  Yes, I think Ennis is trying desperately to play a prescribed role (and Alma too) as you very nicely described.  I think the film is also about a series of wake-up calls and realizations by Ennis that this conventional prescription is not right for him and not even honest for him.  I don't think it's even only Jack as the external evidence of this mis-match between Ennis and conventional society in Riverton.  I think the "gay cowboy nipping at his heels like a bad puppy" is as much inside his own head and a part of Ennis himself as it might be a way to describe Jack's persistence.  But, sure, the burdens of Ennis's childhood (including the trauma his father put him through) impact Ennis's actions enormously.  After Jack's death, though, Ennis seems to be a very changed man... I think he wakes up to a great deal and very quickly with the shock of Jack's death.  Ennis wanted the relationship with Jack as much as Jack did... and truly loved Jack all along.  Figuring out a way to deal with in/ honor it was the hard part for Ennis (especially while Jack was still alive).  But, I think within the context of his upbringing and deeply ingrained thoughts about societal expectations he did quite a lot... and probably from his own perspective the best he could for Jack and to preserve the relationship.  Giving up jobs and otherwise arranging his life so that he could continue to see Jack (probably the one spark of excitement in his rather dreary existence) was major for Ennis.  It was only after Jack's death that he realized that maybe more really could have been done.

Oh Ennis.
 

[Kajunite]

I agree that a lot of the problem dealing with Jack was in Ennis' head and heart.  Do you think that Ennis started to shed his societal expectations back when he wouldn't go to the church social and got a divorce for example?   Jack's death was as you say a wake up call for Ennis.  Ennis was carrying enough baggage to sink a ship and the poor baby did not deserve that. 

[Brown Eyes]

I agree that a lot of the problem dealing with Jack was in Ennis' head and heart.  Do you think that Ennis started to shed his societal expectations back when he wouldn't go to the church social and got a divorce for example?   Jack's death was as you say a wake up call for Ennis.  Ennis was carrying enough baggage to sink a ship and the poor baby did not deserve that. 

Yes, I think the decision not to go to the church social was one sign that he was starting to question certain aspects of conventional Riverton.  I think there are little steps all along the way for Ennis starting from the moment that he sees Jack (probably).  Sure, maybe the rejection of the church social is almost a conscious sign for him that he's not wanting to be part of that crowd as much as he'd probably feel uncomfortable and judged by them (I get this sense from his "fire and brimstone" comment).   

Ennis's baggage is definitely one of the saddest aspects of the movie.  I think that's why that little moment during the "prayer of thanks" camping trip is so sweet when Jack reaches out to touch his face.  It's so nice to see that Ennis has found someone he can unload some of his troubles to.  You get the sense that he's never told anyone the Earl story before.  Talk about a burden to have to live with!  Yikes.  And, this is the first moment that Jack probably understands the complexity of the situation that he's in with Ennis.  He probably had no idea of the level of Ennis's "baggage" and fear until this conversation.  I'm sure the story threw a whole new light on Ennis for Jack here.  Trying to figure out a way to comfort Ennis must have been a challenge for Jack.  But, the simple act of reaching out and touching his cheek somehow seemed just right for Ennis at the moment.  Very sweet.

[silkncense]

Ennis's baggage is definitely one of the saddest aspects of the movie.  I think that's why that little moment during the "prayer of thanks" camping trip is so sweet when Jack reaches out to touch his face.  It's so nice to see that Ennis has found someone he can unload some of his troubles to.  You get the sense that he's never told anyone the Earl story before.  Talk about a burden to have to live with!  Yikes.  And, this is the first moment that Jack probably understands the complexity of the situation that he's in with Ennis.  He probably had no idea of the level of Ennis's "baggage" and fear until this conversation.  I'm sure the story threw a whole new light on Ennis for Jack here.  Trying to figure out a way to comfort Ennis must have been a challenge for Jack.  But, the simple act of reaching out and touching his cheek somehow seemed just right for Ennis at the moment.

Very beautifully stated, Amanda.

[tamarack]

I agree that a lot of the problem dealing with Jack was in Ennis' head and heart.  Do you think that Ennis started to shed his societal expectations back when he wouldn't go to the church social and got a divorce for example?    

My take on Ennis not wanting to continue to go to church functions (because I think they probably did attend at one time - small town, the church is a social place) was that the "fire and brimstone crowd" (which I have had first-hand knowledge of from some of the churches that I used to attend - "used to" being the operative words here) would be pretty vocal about "the sin of homosexuality." I'm thinking that Ennis is not quite so sure at this point that he "ain't no queer" and no longer is willing to meet socially with folks who would reject him outright (and maybe cause him bodily harm) if they knew about him. Maybe this is an indication that Ennis is starting to take a good hard look at who he really is.

[Kajunite]

These points are well made and explained by both of you.  I can identify with Ennis on the church crowd.  And a further point that few may be aware of, is the play of self in the church atmosphere.  When I was in church (and aware of the gay aspects) I knew what the church taught regarding homosexuality and even if they did not get up in the 'hellfire and damnation sermons' to condemn me, I would be raking myself over the coals in self condemnation.  This had been drilled into me over the period of my entire life.  So Ennis did not want to feel the condemnation of that crowd and maybe was as you both pointed out, dealing with his homosexuality, he wanted to avoid his own conscious.  How could he not know that he was something of a homosexual at this time.  He was pursuing the sexual relationship as much as Jack.  The commitment was not there but the sexual part was there at this point.

A personal note; I was just walking out to my mailbox (in very rural Louisiana) and saw a red and white truck pass by that looked exactly like one of Jack's truck that he went up north with.  I stopped and thought, "There goes Jack Twist!"  I was not close enough to see who it was, but I will call my brother and he will find out who has that truck for me.  I have lived in this community for over 55 years.  I stay to myself, so I don't keep up with those around me.  Ennis complex, I guess you could say.  Ernie...

[bbm_stitchbuffyfan]

Very beautifully stated, Amanda.

Seconded.

I also feel that Ennis would feel very uncomfortable at a church social; it's made clear that he's quite paranoid about people discovering his true sexual orientation when he asks Jack if he ever feels like anyone "suspects." Good for Ennis that he was starting to reject the social brainwashing of his time period.

I just wish he could have come to terms with who he really was.

[2robots4u]

I grew up in the Methodist Church, as did Ennis; went to church every Sunday; did all the social events.  But it wan't until I came to California and could not attent a Methodist Church (logistical reasons), so we walked 2 miles to a Baptist Church where I learned the "fire and brimstone" way of church-going.  So, at the tender age of 16, I stopped going to church, until I entered the military and found myself in a very small town in SW Texas.  I found a large Methodist Church, made a zillion friends (mostly  little old "genteel" ladies who must have thought I was an orphan.  They invited me to their homes for lunch, and occasionally sent a car to the base to pick me up to attend some social function.  I always went by myself....until Easter Sunday, when my barracks friend asked if he could go to church with me.  We were late and the only available seats were in the 1st 3-4 pews, and we were escorted up front in front of what might have been 1000 people.  After the services no one greeted me; I was treated like the leper in the Bible.  No more invites to lunch, ignored at social gatherings, so I stopped going to church..again.  It wasn't until months later that it dawned on me the reason for this treatment....and at this point I should mention that my friend was black.  I had taken a black man into a segregated church, but no one told me it was segregated, and I think the man who escorted us to our seats should have at leasted mentioned it to me, and we would have left.  I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had told them we were also gay.  I still get a big chuckle over that!

All of this to make the point that people in rural locales consider the church to be THE single most important aspect of their lives, and damn those who don't attend church.  Then along comes the "travellin' minister" and all hell breaks out...fire and brimstone in all it's majestic glory.  That's not to say big churchs in big cities don't rain down the "fires of hell"...they do, just in a different way. 

So for Ennis, he was trying to be what was expected of him..wife, kids, church.  But over time I believe he saw it as a lost cause, so he stopped going to church, had no scocial life (at least none that we are made aware of).  Again, his fear of being outed began to take over his every thought, and in the end, it destroyed everything that could have been.  But his code of life (if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it) would not allow him to move to a remote location with Jack, and so, he had "to stand it".