I watched the whole damn thing. In retrospect, I should have just fast-forwarded through a TiVo'ed version later - man, some of the filler was nearly as inane as the crap on the MTV Movie Awards. Pretty much the same inane people being inane, too. I think I must be one of the three people on the planet who finds both Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell profoundly unfunny.
There were two lame jokes about Jake/Brokeback at the beginning, actually. He took it very well, as he always does - maybe because it was coming from Lance and they're friends, that helped?
I was irritated all night about it - still am a little - but then I thought, you know what? Go ahead and make your jokes. It only serves to illuminate further that we have a real problem accepting homosexuality in this country. We all know that, of course, but there are still way too many who don't. I used to envy men - really envy them, i.e., I really wished I were one. Not anymore. If you're straight and the least little bit insecure, you're constantly having to prove it, and if you're gay, you feel compelled to hide a large part of yourself - the very essence of yourself, really - because so many dumbass mules can't accept you the way you are.
I can wear pants every day, men's boots, cut my hair short, whatever, and people won't go around whispering that I must be a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that
). But God forbid you're a straight man who - :gasp: - can actually admit you enjoyed a love story concerning two men without making a joke about it. Or even mention it by name on television and not make a joke about it. I give my husband major snaps for not only recommending the movie but defending it, which he did last night to friends, as a matter of fact, when we were having dinner at their house and talking movies, without having to "cover" himself by making a joke about it. And for being almost as irritated as I was that Lance said that crap.
I hate to, but I'm sure you're all wondering what he said, so I'll tell you.
In the beginning of the show, he was pointing out all the athletes and stars who were there and he goes, "We even have movie stars here. Fresh off his Oscar nomination for 'Brokeback Mountain,' Jake Gyllenhaal is here. (Flash to Jake, looking outrageously gorgeous as always.) What are you doing sitting in the front, Jake? I thought you liked it in the rear."
(For the record, Jake threw his head back and laughed in that lovely way of his, but not without a sense of irony and a head-shake as well.)
Then, a minute later, he goes, "And the Sexiest Man Alive - Matthew McConaughey - is here. Don't strain yourself turning around to look at him - we all know what he looks like. Eyes front, Jake." At that point, Jake smiled but looked at Lance and shook his head like "I'm gonna get you for that, Armstrong."
What seemed like many hours and infinite inanity (because it really was) later, Jake presented the award for Best Sports Moment. When he came out, he was holding Terrell Owens' book "T.O," about which they'd previously joked had a "bunch of gay stuff" in it (I think he talks about the down low in it or something), as if he's reading it and mumbled something like, "There IS a lot of gay stuff in here." But then he shook his head at the audience and kind of rolled his eyes and said, "I'm gonna let the beginning of the show go" (as if to imply "THIS time").
His presentation of the award was lovely. It was actually well-written (it almost seemed as if it were something he'd really say - like he wrote it himself), and I was thrilled but not surprised to see that the winner was Jason McElwain, the autistic boy who scored six three-pointers in two minutes at the end of a basketball game in my hometown of Rochester, NY (Greece, actually) last year and brought the whole crowd out on the court because it was the first time he had ever gotten to play.
So it was ultimately worth it to watch the whole damn thing (well, up to that point, anyway). But I'll tell ya, the more I watch these silly award shows, the less I want to continue to (that's our conundrum for the day, kids).
Aren't you *so* glad you asked, Mandy?
