I find the word "queer" to be a personal insult to all gay people because of it's history in gay culture. Both "queer" and "fag" go way back and were used to degrade gays, much as the "N" word is used against people of color. I prefer "gay" because it is non-gender descriptive, and I've even know females who prefer it over "lesbian". However, in today's society, where homosexuals are broken down into so many different categories, i.e., gay, lesbian, transgender, transsexual, bi-sexual, cross-dresser, and a-sexual, one word isn't going to work for all of us. Diversity defines the inner person, so calling a cross-dresser "gay" is probably not the right choice...most cross-dressers are not gay. So I advocate the use of "homosexual" for males AND females who really are, and the rest by the name that they are known as. Afterall, I do not believe the term "cross-dresser" is derrogatory, and it adequately defines that individual, as does the rest of the list.
RE: Gaydar...I have, I use it, and so far it has been most accurate. I suspected Joe Namath long before he became a topic of concern, and Billie Jean King, Martina, and most recently Cheryl Swoops. There are many other I suspect, both famous and infamous. Notice these people are over 40, and as mentioned above, it's the under 30 crowd who is difficult to read. But, I also believe gaydar is just there...you have it or not, and you can't explain why you know. You just do....Dpoug
