I just took a walk in the botanical gardens up the street from me. It's a beautiful summer afternoon here, breeze blowing, sun shining through the trees, and I went over to be with nature and my thoughts after a day spent mostly here on the computer.
I stood for a long time on the edge of a large pond where I watched turtles and large koi fish milling about gracefully in the water, coming up out of the murkyness for a gobble of some morsel, or passing through the surface just 'cause. I was listening to U2's Walk On, and though not every part fit, it felt like it was speaking to Chris and his ordeal this week.
To me it sang of the strength I want him to have to keep going; the undeniable goodness of him and how this illness can't take away who he is; the new journey he's on with its miracles and its hardships; and how he going to have to leave some things in the past and let go into this new life. I hope to God he's getting from us how much we support him, love him, and will walk with him into the new day. I wish I could post the song here, so he could hear it, but I don't quite have it together enough to do that, so here are just the lyrics:
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
oh no, be strong
Oh, Oh, Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
And stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
who will only fly, only fly for freedom
Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, Walk on
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on....walk on...
....
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind...Walking along this pond I saw everything thru the eyes of someone who came close to leaving it--smelled the pine needles, touched the leaves, saw the reeds blowing in the wind. Felt like I was doing this for him. I pray for the day you will feel the sun again on your face, feel the wind on your skin, and know you belong here.
Stay on your path Chris, and we're right beside you.
Jenny
