This thread seems to have got off track a bit from the original subject, but I have been enthralled at the responses telling us about the first time they saw the movie.....because once again, I am finding out that the similarities between how you felt and how i felt are so much the same, in fact, identical.
Let me tell you about my first time.......it started off actually a couple of weeks before....I had met a lady on internet chat, and we connected very well with each other because we discussed our mutual "bi-curiosity", with one another....we live close by, so had met for coffee a couple of times, but we didnt act on our attraction to one another, and nothing became physical with each other.....every time we had talked though, we had said that as soon as Brokeback mountain came to the local theatre, we would definately go and see it together.....I thought that watching a movie together, with a gay theme, might encourage some intimacy between us....
Neither of us knew much about it....excepte the term "gay cowboy movie"....neither of us had read the book....we had just read a few reviews in the newspaper.
Well, we watched the movie, not saying a word thru it, and when we came outside the theatre, I asked her what she thought....and she said "Yeah, it was good"....and she asked me, what did I think...and I just couldnt find any words to describe what I was feeling...I kept running my fingers thru my hair, like i was feeling a bit agitated, i kept shaking my head, thinking, "what do I say", I really couldnt find any words to describe what I was feeling....then I finally said to her "I gotta go away and think about this, and work out what the hell i am feeling"......
She got in her car, and I got in my car, and that was it....I just wanted to be alone...I had a half hour drive to get home, and I talked to myself the whole way home.....and I kept saying to myself.."Why is that movie affecting me like this, How is the movie affecting me, What am I thinking about that makes me feel so different".....I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness, i drove, and I cried.....I forgave people in my life for things that I had never forgiven them for.....i yelled out loud..."I forgive you".....I thought of people that I love and said "I love you".....I thought about how life could be so cruel.
Same here. I knew nothing about the movie when I saw it. I left the theater not knowing if I wanted to cry or go into the alley and throw up. 
If ever a quote describes how I felt, this one does.
As far as the relationship with my new friend, well, we chatted again a few times after seeing the movie, but she didnt seem to want to dwell on the movie too much, when all I wanted to do was talk to her about it....and consequently, we ran out of things to talk about, and eventually, the chats got less and less, and now we dont communicate anymore.
I gathered a few other friends together for my next viewing at the theatre, thinking that surely, at least one of them would feel the same way as I did, give me someone to talk to about it, and how I was feeling....out of the five friends I went with (all straight women)...it was my sister in law who cried and came out of the theatre, feeling the wretched sadness, and although she didnt become obsessed like I did, at least she allowed me to indulge in my obsessiveness with her, and she would sit and listen to me.
It was after that, that I searched and found BBM message board, and was overwhelmed that there were all these people talking about everything I wanted to talk about......like a group therapy thing.....I was not alone....IT did not just happen to me....
My sister in law went with me a second time to see the movie at the theatre, and then I went the fourth and last time on my own....and I prefer to watch the DVD on my own too now....I forced my husband to sit and watch it with me, but I think he had got so sick of me talking about it, he could not enjoy it like I would have hoped he would.
Now, its just ME, my DVD and my MESSAGE BOARD.....
