On another message board, I had used the words "chosen ones" and got a bit blasted by some as being pompous, or possibly referring to myself and others as being "chosen" in a religious type of way, but I truly believe that, of all the people who have seen this movie, a group of us feel as though we "got it", hence Bettermost and all the other websites and message boards.
I've been profoundly moved by movies before. But not to the extent that any of the characters have stayed with me for more than a few days afterwards. More that they've made me examine my life and I've gone on to do some more of that without giving much more thought to the characters themselves. …. I couldn't stop thinking about their fates. I fell in love with both of them. I still am and always will be. …. No matter what comes and goes, these characters will always be in my heart. And that's never happened to me with any fictional character before and I doubt it ever will again. Jesus H., nothing like this.
I too have wondered why THIS movie has affected me in this way. I have seen hundreds of movies that made me look at things differently but have never stayed with me like this. Most nights Jack and Ennis are the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and are with me the next morning and through out the day. I am so glad I decided to watch BBM. Maybe we are the "chosen" ones that will change the world. I have never seen my self as an activist but now when I hear someone making snide remarks about "gays" I give them an earful. Especially when someone says it is a choice. I said, How can you think it is a choice? Who would chose to be discriminated against and hated for how and who they love. No one would choose that pain. Did you "choose" to love women. Why is it a choice for them. As I have said before, I have a very close friend that is gay and I think if I heard someone say something about them now that I would be the one doing the bashing.
I was made aware of this thread with a note that silk posted on another thread. I went back to some of your initial comments and I agree with all of you.
My family laughs at me because I always have what I call “film obsessions” or “star obsessions.” Those are the times when I either have to watch a particular film over and over or watch one particular star over and over. I have had some great ones on my list (such as Johnny Depp and Cillian Murphy … whose films I still adore). But, the longest any one obsession has lasted has maybe been a few weeks … a month at the most. However, BBM has stuck to me like fuzz on a lollypop. I absolutely can’t shake it. This is one of the few times that it is not just about the stars, but about the story. If it would only be about Jake and Heath, I would have quit this film months ago. But here it is …. months later … I still watch the film in whole or in part at least once a day.
My sister asked me why this film has hit me the way that it has. I tried to articulate what I was feeling, but felt mute. The overwhelming emotions that BBM evokes (for me) is indescribable. My sister does not want to see it. She is a pastor, but that is not why she doesn’t want to see it. She doesn’t like movies with tragic endings … and BBM is one of those films.
As for inflammatory comments about gays, race, religion, etc., I always go ballistic. When I asked my brother, who is BIG TIME homophobic, to watch the film, he said “I refuse to watch two f****ts.” I let him have it. (It is especially important that my brother cool the rhetoric because I believe his son, my nephew, is gay …. which is another topic altogether!). IMO, prejudice is a form of misunderstanding …. demeaning comments are a form of ignorance. Nothing will change if we, the public, don’t acknowledge our own biases. We all have them … we can’t deny their existence. Once we make an assumption about any given
group of people, we are prejudice. Until we can open ourselves to another’s POV, there will always be sexism, racism, religious bigotry, etc.
