Can someone help with an astrology question?

[Jeff Wrangler]

Does anyone know whether a Taurus and a Virgo are considered a good match, a bad match, or what?

Thanks! 

[louisev]

in the most general terms, via "popular astrology" methods, there is a general compatibility between the same elements:  Taurus and Virgo are both earth signs, and so therefore share this general element compatibility.  However, that is vastly generalizing.  The most essential elements of compatibility are deeper in the chart (sun vs. moon placements, for example, and 7th house rulerships and dispositions.)  So complete charges have to be run for both partners to determine whether there is an overall compatibility between personalities, astrologically.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Thanks, Louise!

At this point, that's all I was looking to know: that there is a general element compatibility between Taurus and Virgo. I think right now it would be premature to delve any deeper, not to mention that I don't have the information that would be necessary for a deeper analysis.

in the most general terms, via "popular astrology" methods, there is a general compatibility between the same elements:  Taurus and Virgo are both earth signs, and so therefore share this general element compatibility.  However, that is vastly generalizing.  The most essential elements of compatibility are deeper in the chart (sun vs. moon placements, for example, and 7th house rulerships and dispositions.)  So complete charges have to be run for both partners to determine whether there is an overall compatibility between personalities, astrologically.

[moremojo]

Hey, Jeff--

Check out the Chinese-astrology angle too in regard to compatibility issues. I have been impressed with what I've read of myself in connection to my Chinese astrological sign--it really seemed on target. It's dependent on the lunar year in which you were born--twelve signs in all, each named after an animal. I am a Goat (or Sheep, or Ram, depending on translation), for example, and I'm supposed to be very compatible with Rabbits (or Hares, or Cats [following the Vietnamese variation]), Horses, and Pigs (or Boars). On the other hand, the Goat and the Ox are like water and oil.

Tell you what, it makes for some interesting reading.

Scott

[Jeff Wrangler]

"You bet!" Sure enough does sound interesting!

Thanks, Scott!

Hey, Jeff--

Check out the Chinese-astrology angle too in regard to compatibility issues. I have been impressed with what I've read of myself in connection to my Chinese astrological sign--it really seemed on target. It's dependent on the lunar year in which you were born--twelve signs in all, each named after an animal. I am a Goat (or Sheep, or Ram, depending on translation), for example, and I'm supposed to be very compatible with Rabbits (or Hares, or Cats [following the Vietnamese variation]), Horses, and Pigs (or Boars). On the other hand, the Goat and the Ox are like water and oil.

Tell you what, it makes for some interesting reading.

Scott M.

[injest]

OK! IS NO ONE GONNA ASK???

Enquiring minds want to know....who who??

(reg. your signature?? my husband rides quite a bit.....and yes it is the time ahorseback that makes it good...LOL)

[Daniel]

Does anyone know whether a Taurus and a Virgo are considered a good match, a bad match, or what?

Thanks! 

My mother and father are Virgo and Taurus respectively, they're still together, not the happiest couple in the world, but a long-lasting relationship.

[delalluvia]

Oh that is sweet...
*Jess restrains herself from pestering and prying*

Same here...

[nakymaton]

Can we wish you pleasant "hanging out," then?

[injest]

(Sigh. ...)

Sweet don't bother me, none. 

We have known each other for 14 years. He was already attached when we met. I always used to see him out with his partner at our usual watering hole. I hadn't seen either of them for quite awhile until, literally, this past New Year's Eve I ran into my friend--I'll call him "Chris," since that just happens to be his name.  He was sitting by himself at a corner of the bar, and before I even had a chance to ask whether Bill, his partner, was in the bathroom, or what, he told me that Bill had died last August, somewhat unexpectedly. I ended up spending the evening--not night, just the evening  --with Chris, and I suggested that if he wanted to come out and hang out he should call me and I would meet him.

I don't recall that he ever actually did call, but we ran into each other "accidentally" a couple of times before, somewhat to my surprise, he said "okay" when I suggested we have dinner. I think that was in March.

He told me quite forthrightly that he isn't ready to date, and I understand that, though we seem to be comparing schedules an awful lot to see when we can "hang out together."

Then there was the little matter of my birthday, May 6. It just happened that after conflicting schedules for most of April, my birthday was the first time we were able to get together for dinner a second time. I told him what the day was, so he wouldn't find out and think I was trying to be sneaky to get a date for my birthday, and what does he do? He shows up that evening with a homemade birthday cake with buttercream frosting.    I don't know what, if anything, he will let me do for his birthday in a couple of weeks. It's been years since I tried to bake anything. ...

Anyway. ... Chris is six years younger than me, a nice WASP boy with blond hair, blue eyes, a nice full beard, and a good job. He's close to his family. He doesn't say much, but he gets his point across. He is, as my people say, good husband material--the fact that he was with his late partner for 14 years testifies to that.

Is this going to go anywhere? Or am I just here to help him through the transition (I seem to have a habit of doing that)? I don't know--but, if there is a general compatiblity between Taurus and Virgo, whatever happens, at least we won't tear each other's throat out.

And that's the story, folks.

SCORE!!

I am so happy for you...come on...he baked you a CAKE! What you waiting for cowboy? a mating call??

and it has been 8 months..that is an awful long time for you to be the "transition guy".

I will say it again..I am so happy for you..like you said 'good husband material' people don't change their spots...you know him already!

awwwwww!! SWEET!!

 

really really good luck and bestest wishes!!

[delalluvia]

Hmmm, hard to say.

His lover of 14 years has been gone just over a year?  Correct?  I guess people have different mourning periods, but if someone says they're 'not ready to date yet', sadly, that usually either means exactly that or that means they're not ready to date YOU.

Either way, I don't see this going anywhere you may want it to.  I suggest you don't invest your heart any deeper than 'hanging out' together.

[injest]

actions speak louder than words! come on...don't be cynical! and we don't know when he said that about not being ready to date...if it was in Jan it would be an entirely different thing than if he said it yesterday!!

(Poor Jeff....we are just getting all up in your business!! LOL....just a buncha busy bodies!)

[delalluvia]

(Poor Jeff....we are just getting all up in your business!! LOL....just a buncha busy bodies!)

[embarrassed face]  I know, I know.  But heck, might as well give someone the benefit of our experience, eh?

When I was in mourning for a past relationship - much less a passed away loved one - and I told would-be suitors that I 'wasn't ready to date'.  I really meant it.  No matter how hard they courted or tried to come on to me.  It got to be irritating that they wouldn't take me at my word.

And I've also been told by lovers/bed buddies that they weren't ready to date and I obliged them by not demanding anything more...just to find out a week/month/year later that they had moved in with someone else - while we were still sleeping together. 

[injest]

but he KNOWS this guy...has for 14 years...it could work out...some do and some don't...I would rather vote for giving love a chance than to NOT...sometimes you just have to take the plunge and offer your heart.

you have to make your choice..are you going to be Ennis or are you going to be Jack?

I vote Jack..yes you could get hurt, but you might find something wonderful! Either way at least you will be living your life not just cruising thru...

(Ok promise Jeff I am now retreating back to my cubbyhole..gonna mind my own beeswax!)


Does anyone believe me?? LOL

[vkm91941]

Jeff I am happy for you, and I wish you well with your friend.  Just take it easy, take your time and see what developes if it's meant to be it'll happen and if it's not you'll at least strengthen your friendship and have a good time in the process and who amoung us couldn't use that. 

Take care honey and all the best of luck to you and Chris.

[louisev]

It has been a few months, though, Jeff, since he said he wasn't ready.

I read a good piece of advice by Dan Savage yesterday that seems appropriate here:  it might be worth saying to him, at a relaxing point in one of your hanging out sessions, that you have enjoyed hanging out with him, and that you did enjoy the night you spent together, and you enjoy his company and would like to keep doing it, and would like to sleep with him again when he's ready.  You might also want to tell him that you do want to bear in mind what he had said before about not being ready yet, and if he gets ready, please let you know because you are interested.

[Scott6373]

This is certainly true, the "any number of reasons," I mean. On one occasion, sensibly enough, it was because he had to work Sunday. His home is closer to his job than my place, and he said he just wanted to sleep in his own bed before he had to get up for work. I can't fault him for that--my mind works exactly the same way.

The main thing I'm unsure of is where, exactly, he's coming from, and how to proceed. If he should come to me and say he wants to try dating, I'll go for it--being fully aware that it will require some important compromises and sacrifices. But I'm 48 years old and I'm tired of being alone. I have nothing to lose by trying, and potentially a lot to gain.

There's this ggrwat little book out there called "He's just not that into you", not that I am suggesting that he isn't, but it really opens your eyes, in a very common sense way.  I do agree with you though...you'll never know if you don't ever try.

[nakymaton]

For a different perspective from Dellaluvia's: I remember being very reluctant to get into a relationship with a guy who helped me through a transition time in my life. I dumped him at least once during the first month of our relationship, in fact. But it was more because I felt that I was doing something wrong by being attracted to him.

We've been together for 16 years now.

So maybe Chris is not ready to date. And maybe he doesn't think he should be ready to date. Hard to tell without knowing the guy.

I've got to say, though, that I personally consider guys who help people through transitions to be pretty darn good partners in the long haul.

Couple of rough anniversaries coming up. Hang in there.

And good luck.

That reminds me, too. Another thing he did for me for my birthday: he defragged my hard drive. 

True love. (Said as the partner of a geek. )

[injest]

Jeff,

I don't think it is making excuses but more you are admitting your own worries. I do the same thing...I have a friend that used to email me every morning and IM me for two hours a day. Recently he has stopped emailing me in the morning...just does it occassionally. But he calls me on the phone and sends me postcards....after a while I think our friends become relaxed and know they don't have to keep trying. (for me it makes me happy to think we have reached a point where we trust that we are there for each other...so we can be ourselves...we can say "look I am tired and going to bed talk to you tomorrow" and know that it is ok) But I was so nervous those first couple of weeks wondering and fretting.

Like you said, what do you have to lose? You can see you have a lot to gain.

I agree though that right now is not the time to put any pressure on Chris...give it time...

[delalluvia]

The "not ready to date" comment was made early this year--maybe as early as January, I don't remember for sure. I'm the type of person who tends to take people at their word. I've persisted here because he is such good "husband material," and I expect that if I did as I would normally have done--backed off--by the time he decides he is ready to date, someone else will be at third base, whereas I haven't even come up to the plate.

Reminds me of that 'Seinfeld' episode where the 'perfect' couple broke up.  She beautiful, he gorgeous, both nice and sweet people.

Immediately, their friends around them - the Seinfeld gang included - smelled blood and were homing in on them.  Someone mentioned to Seinfeld about giving the girl some space for her 'mourning period'.  Seinfeld responded that her mourning period was 'a luxury I can't afford'. 

In a sense I've regarded the birthday cake as a curve ball. (How did I end up with all these baseball metaphors?) I still don't know what to make of that. The last person to bake me a cake was my mother, and she's been dead ten years!

Because he appreciated what you represented to him?  I'm not trying to be difficult here, but I found myself being very very kind to a guy I knew wanted me very badly, but who I didn't want at all, after a bad breakup because this guy had swooped in, shored up my devastated ego and made me feel attractive and desired.  He essentially picked me up with I was at my lowest point.

I've never forgotten that.  I've sent him gifts, gone to his parties, never forgotten his birthday, but I also never gave in to date or sleep with him either, even though I knew that is what he dearly wanted.  I didn't want to lead him on.

It's a possibility.

At the same time, to be blunt, not to say crude, we've only slept together once--and I did all the work. He has repeatedly declined additional invitations to stay over. (He lives a good 45 minutes out of the city, I live three blocks from our usual hangout.) I finally directly addressed the issue of whether I was out of line that night (he didn't ask me to stop, though maybe he was just being polite), and he insisted that I wasn't, that he was OK with it, so. ... 

This and the fact that he 'doesn't like to talk on the phone' as much as you do bothers me.

And talk about dumbass mules. Here I am asking whether there is any compatibility between a Taurus and a Virgo? Guess what I just remembered last night? Guess what my late boyfriend was (August 28)? 

 

D'oh!   

[injest]

well I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Would rather get my heart broken than to wonder forever what if?

Just because it doesn't work out in all cases, is no reason to assume it won't work in this one. Some do...

and I will call you attention to the fact that we are not talking about him jumping on Chris at his lovers funeral! He has been a friend for 8 months...been spending time with him for 8 months, he says they don't date but constantly compare schedules to find time to be together....(that is a date to me)...he is not pushing Chris.

and he is not the only one in this relationship that is making an effort...we are all just human beings doing the best we can...maybe it will work out maybe it won't but I prefer to support Jeff rather than try to discourage him.

[delalluvia]

well I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Would rather get my heart broken than to wonder forever what if?

True, but it seems to me that Jeff has already made his intentions and feelings pretty clear to his friend and look where he is all these months later. 

There is no harm in showing someone your interest.  But if their response is only hit and miss, hot and cold, here and there, instead of enthusiasm, I'd start to have my doubts.

[vkm91941]

Del I bet you are deadly with an air rifle on the midway at the Fair.  Those little ducks and geese got nowhere to hide from you. 

All JEFF asked any of us was about the compatiblity of a couple of astrological signs and look at this.  Now the mertis of his 14 year friendship are being debated like a hot topic. Maybe Chris is still not ready it took me 7 years before I even went out on a date....and I never looked at or talked to a man before then..... the very fact that Chris even let Jeff in at all speaks volumes.

Come on give these gentlemen a break.  They deserve a chance to explore this what ever it is and make of it what THEY will, not what WE will.  Just because it happened that way for you or for me, for some other gay couple or for some straight couple....give it a rest.... it may not happen that way for these two INDIVIDUALS.

Stop shooting them down. 

Love is love and realtionships are relationships.... but gay couple dynamics are very different from straight couple dynamics on lots of levels and I think we are totally forgetting that these are two individuals who will bring their own twist (pun intended) and baggage to the mix.  Both Jeff and Chris deserve a chance to see if they can fall in love for the last time in their lives....with each other this time...and I for one wish them all the best in the attempt while cautioning Jeff to remain careful but hopeful.  It'll be apparent soon enough if this isn't going to work out in that way.

[injest]

Poor Chris.. sounds so confused...he reminds me a bit of my girl cat.

I rescued her from an abusive situation. She wants to be loved so much but is so afraid of getting hurt. She will dash to up to me, crouch, look up at me and as soon as I reach down to pet her she moves away; she will jump into my lap but can't lay down, all the petting has to be on her terms...remembering the pain; needing the love.

please be kind to him. The important thing is he was there. He didn't have to be, he could have stayed home or gone somewhere else.

So where are you taking him for his birthday?

(that weak in the knees feeling? wonderful isn't it? Enjoy the feelings, if nothing else, Jeff you are alive and fully LIVING your life! not just cruising thru it!)

[injest]

WHA? you were drinking!?! on a Saturday night??!

THUD

*Jess falls over in shocked disbelief*

[injest]

Just kidding!! 

You are a very coherent drunk...that is good! LOL!

[vkm91941]

You two always crack me up!   

I told him I would leave that decision up to him, so we can go some place I'm sure he likes.

You are so sweet Jeff, and that is a good idea, ordinarily.  Just be careful to be sure it's not someplace he has serious memories of his partner connect to.  It should be someplace new to create a new memory for just the two of you.

Might I suggest asking him if there's any place he's heard of and been dying to try or suggesting someplace that you know is absolute fabulous that he may not have been before.

We want him focused on how nice his birthday is and wonderful you are for helping to make it so....not inspiring a trip down memory lane.

Know what I mean 

[vkm91941]

Sensible advice as always, Victoria. Thank you!

His birthday is Friday, September 8, so I have a little bit of time to work on that. I even said if it wasn't convenient, we wouldn't necessarily have to do it on his birthday, in case he might want to go visit his sister or his mother that weekend, we'd do it whenever he wants, just that I wanted to take him to dinner--since I'm not going to be baking no cake--unless I do. 

Actually, the two times we've had dinner, at my favorite restaurant, came close to disaster. The first time we dined early, and the only other customers were two women with a very noisy small child. No offense intended to parents here, but my mother would never have tolerated me making the kind of noise that child was making in public, imposing on others. It was downright unpleasant. The next time (my birthday) the other customers included 14 raucus, er, lesbyterians celebrating someone's birthday, and we could barely hear each other over the racket.

So I figured maybe we'd have better luck if Chris picked the restaurant! 

Sounds like a plan    At least those two  "disasterous" dinners are the stuff that you guys can laugh about together right?   I am known as the Cake Queen in my family so if you decided to bake, let me know if you need any inspiration.  LOL  I've got dozens of recipes that start with a box mix and no one can tell it's not scratch when you're done.  The little league raised $200 dollars  just from auctioning off 4 of my cakes this past spring. They want 10 next year..lol

[injest]

Jeff I don't see any new posts...how are things going? Can we assume no news is good news?

Hope so!

Jess
xx

[opinionista]

Does anyone know whether a Taurus and a Virgo are considered a good match, a bad match, or what?

Thanks! 

I'm kinda late to answer your question Jeff, but I'm taurus myself and i tend to have good and long lasting relationship with virgo people, on romantic and friendship levels. But don't rely on the horoscope, because taurus and aries aren't supposed to get a long, and I had a 3 1/2 year relationship with an aires man. We're no longer together, but we're still very good friends.

[injest]

Thinking about you this morning, Jeff.

{{{{Jeff}}}}

Jess
xx

[injest]

GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!!

oops sorry

Good morning sunshine..

[injest]

are you even noticing how good I am being?? Here I am DYING for updates...but do I pester you?? NO! I have a will of iron! self control of untold strength!

Would I like to hear how things are with you...YES of course, but do I ask? NO...cause I have tact...and understanding...

sometimes I just amaze myself with my subtlety!

you could just set up a blog over in Our Daily Thoughts

but you won't here ME suggest such a thing! Far be it from me to be pushy in any way!

[injest]

 

 

[serious crayons]

Jeff, I just saw this thread for the first time now -- or maybe I saw the subject line and skipped it because I know nothing about astrology.

I also know nothing about helping people through transitions, or how to tell for sure whether the people I want to date want to date me. No one has ever baked me a cake, and I defrag my own computer if and when I remember to. (I sound so pathetic that I have to mention that I am actually married, at least for the moment, and have been for 13 years.)

So anyway, I don't have any helpful advice to offer but I figured after reading through the thread I could at least offer my support and my hope that it works out for you guys.