I had one of those kid moments just the other night. My husband and son and I went to our favorite Mexican restaurant. We go there/order out from there so often, the waitresses and owner greet us by our first names when we walk in. Will and I were there early waiting for my husband - he had gone to the gym and wanted to run home and change first, so he was going to meet us.
We were sitting in our booth eating some chips and (yummy, yummy fresh-made) salsa, when this very tall older gentleman walked in, dressed to the nines - he looked like a CEO or something - just had that commanding presence. He also had a rather prominent beer belly. Will goes, loudly, "That's a tall man!" I said, "Yes, that's a tall, nice-looking gentleman." Then he says, loudly again, "And a fat man!" It wasn't a question of whether the man heard him - the whole restaurant heard him. This is a very small place - only five booths along the wall, a couple of tables for two at either end, and a bar. I leaned in very close and whispered very quietly, "Honey, it's not nice to call people that." He goes, "What? Fat?" Again very loudly. If we weren't meeting Ed, I'd have taken him out of there. But all I could do was hope he wouldn't say it again, change the subject and move on.
David, I had a similar parking-lot moment once. Last Christmas time, I took Will to the mall near where we live, and on a Sunday (what was I thinking???) to pick up a last-minute gift. I had parked outside the department store I wanted to look for it in, and made careful note of which way my car was facing, etc., going in. We came out, and it was like my car had disappeared. Will and I walked up and down the aisles (which were relatively short, at least), and I got more and more frustrated. The worst part was that this lady was stalking us in her car, trying to get a parking spot because there were none to be found. I kept waving her off, but she wouldn't relent. I finally took Will back in the store, thinking my car was really gone (and wanting to get away from her!). When I went back in the entrance we'd just come out, I realized we came out a different way from how we'd originally gone in. I went to *that* entrance, and lo and behold, there was my car right where I'd left it.
Talk about being an ass.
