Author Topic: The Chris Memorial Thread  (Read 16576 times)

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The Chris Memorial Thread
« on: August 30, 2006, 11:40:34 pm »
i regret to announce that Christopher Benjamin Alyn has left us. things took a surprising turn for the worst. i know most of you loved him and valued his friendship. God Bless all of your souls! many of you may believe this to be an elaborate hoax or some sort of joke which is fine. but that doesn't change the fact that he is gone and isnt coming back. thank you for being his friends. i know he appreciated all of you and please know that he never forgot that. i'm sure he'll check in on you all from time to time.

Sincerely,
SFA

Note from Phillip: At this time, no one from Chris' family will be available to read any further memorial messages.  Therefore, for the benefit of the community as a whole in moving beyond this sad news, I'd like to put some closure on this matter.  I think the family has appreciated the kind sentiments and they are now setting out to move forward in their lives, as we must all do ourselves.  Thank you for your understanding of why I have locked this topic.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2006, 10:49:42 pm by Phillip »

Offline Lumière

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Re: Chris
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2006, 12:01:59 am »
I am gutted by this news..

I dont even know what to say.
Can't quite grasp it yet..


Offline littleguitar

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Re: Chris
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2006, 12:04:10 am »
I've been trying to think of something to say ever since this post appeared. When did this happen? this is horrible, I really don't even know what to say.
‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

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Offline Arad-3

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Re: Chris
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2006, 12:05:54 am »
this is terrible news. I'm shocked.

My prayers go out to his family.
" Save a horse... ride a cowboy "

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Re: Chris
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2006, 12:07:24 am »
Well this is a very sad day for me.  I'm sorry that Shea didn't feel he could share with us what was happening when he's been checking in during the last week and hope that if you see this Shea, you'll feel free to send me a private message or an e-mail and let me know what happened.  I've been afraid of pulmonary embolism or something similar.  I had a long time friend who suffered one of those 8 weeks post surgical.  

I really cannot express to you all how devastated I am by this loss.  Chris was one of the finest young men I have ever had the priviledge to know.  He was smart and generous, kind hearted and posessed a terrific sense of humor.  I will mourn his loss for a long time. He was my friend in a way that is special and unique in on-line encounters. He suffered much in his young life.

Please accept my condolensenses for your loss and extend them to your Mom and Kayla as well.  You take good care of my boy Charlie J, Shea and if you feel like it please keep in touch, if you don't I will understand.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2006, 01:22:16 am by Victoria »

Offline Lumière

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Re: Chris
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2006, 12:27:52 am »
Rest In Peace Bud!
There's no saying how much you will be missed....

I am still at a loss for words, but like Vicky said, to Chris' family, please accept heartfelt condolensces for your loss. 


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Re: Chris
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2006, 12:29:30 am »
I'm still reeling here.  Tears streaming down my face.  I want you all to know how special Chris was and what a difference he made in the lives of so many people, not just mine but lots and lots of others.  I want to tell Chris's Mom about those things and how special her son was to so many of us.  I want to be sure that CJ knows what a terrific guy his Daddy was. 

This pain in unbelievable. I want to scream, to cry, to break something.  I want him back! I want my friend back.  To all those negative folks it no longer matters what YOU think.  Chris is beyond your theories and naysaying now.  You can't hurt him anymore.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2006, 03:24:18 am by Victoria »

Offline Meryl

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Re: Chris
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2006, 12:30:06 am »
Dear Lord, what a terrible shock.  This saddens me more than I can say.  Please, Shea, if you can, let us know more, when you feel able to.  We would be grateful to know what happened to our friend.  We mourn with you and your family.
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Offline littleguitar

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Re: Chris
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2006, 12:30:43 am »
Chris, you were a really good friend. There will always be a special place for you in my heart. I miss you more than I can ever say and this news has absolutely shocked me.

I love you.

And to Shea and the family, you are in my thoughts.
‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

Offline RouxB

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Re: Chris
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2006, 12:44:32 am »
I feel the need to post but have nothing I can say. I am just sick with grief

Heathen

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Re: Chris
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2006, 12:54:22 am »
I just want to remind everyone of Chris's last words to us before he began to experience complications from his illness...

Alright...those who know me know that i am not at all good with sentimentality.  I cringe at the thought of talkin about love and can't express my feeling worth a damn (except anger...I'm a pro at that >:().  I don't cry at movies, don't cry at sad stories, and don't cry because I miss someone....in fact I have only cried twice in ten years in that was when my brother was undergoing dental surgery and when my baby CJ was born.  I hold my sentiments in and they beat me down. 

I've had some interesting times in my life. Mom was married 4 times, smoked and drank 15, got married young, got divorced young, etc...

The list goes on and on...I live by the old "God please show me the way or forgive me for being lost" saying.  I believe I am God's test dummy...you know...the kind they use to test the cars...he puts me through all these tests to see how much a human being can take...sort of 'crash-tests'...

I met most of you last October on the BBM board on IMDB.  We all came together sharing a common interest...Brokeback Mountain.  Many people have often asked me why I connected with Brokeback...me being straight, married and as young as I am.  I try endlessly to answer them the best I can, but the truth is my friends...I don't know!  Many of you have come up with theories...some good some...not so good. But here's what I think...

I believe that God brought me here!  I believe that he knew I would need friends over the next year...and boy did he do one right.  I believe you are all heaven-sent my friends.  Reading your messages (well Shea reading your messages to me) is the only thing that got me through this crash test in my life.  Everyday I would ask..."Anymore messages" or "Anything else?"...he would read them to me over and over again.  Made me feel good...I knew there were people out there pulling for me!  The candles, PMs and message thread are all very special to me...I felt your love...your compassion...and your strength!  And for that I am forever grateful...

Aristotle once said...."A friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies."...I think he got it right!  That is how I feel...I hope you all feel that same feeling someday...

You're all angels...and whatever may happen in the coming days...whether we stay together or drift apart...and whether we get along or not...I thank you all...and will always hold you dear to my heart!!!

And a very special thanks to Jenny (newyearsday) for her work with the healer...and to Victoria...whom kept you all updated...and stood with me come hell or high water!

I love you all!

Ok now go back to your Jake loving, your way over-analyzed discussions, your imaginary stories or whatever the hell it is you do!!!   ;D

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Chris
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2006, 01:46:23 am »
Oh my god. I can't believe it. As a relative latecomer to the Tremblay board, I didn't even know Chris very well. But he seemed like such a great guy (as that post shows), who'd been through so much. And with a new baby! This is so, so shocking.

My thoughts are with his family.


Offline j.U.d.E.

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Re: Chris
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2006, 04:01:39 am »
WHAT?! NO!! What happened?! Is this true?..?.. What happened?!.. Sh*t! Sorry. This is totally dreadful.. What the hell happened?!  :o

Victoria, I'm gutted.. This is very very sad news and you can let out all your pain here! Do! But why is ther so much anger on this thread..?

My thoughts go out to his family. All my condolences and may you, Chris find peace and tranquility - wherever you are...


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vkm91941

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Re: Chris
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2006, 04:10:42 am »
My eulogy for Chris, my friend

Special people leave a void for the people who remain behind.

Chris is that kind of person to me, he occupied a place in my heart and in my life that was uniquely his.  I met Chris on the IMDb Brokeback Mountain board in September of 2006 and we clicked almost immediately.  I guess the old adage like speaks to like is true.  We were forever getting yelled at by the others on the board for hi-jacking threads and just chatting for hours about anything and everything. Since we found e-mail too slow and IMDB PM's awkward eventually we, with a few other friends hi-jacked an unused board for our nightly chats. 

Over the course of that year, through many conversations, some deep , some frivolous, some intensely personal others very superficial…I came to know Christopher Benjamin Alyn the man.  He was a remarkably good man, with a few misspent teenage years that only added to his charm and his bad boy cache.  He was a person of integrity, incredibly self effacing, generous to a fault, intensely loyal to his friends and he loved his family fiercely and was devoted to them, a man who understood a hard day's work and did what needed to be done so that those he loved never wanted for anything.

The loss of my friend is extremely painful, my pain is very strong, debilitating even and  yet also strangely reaffirming because it has made me ever more aware of the rewards of our wonderful friendship. I long to replace pain with hope and peace in the knowledge that my friend is in a better place. I know that is what he would want. We all know how much he hated sentimentality, all these tears would make him cringe.   The memories I have are what keeps things in perspective and I thank God for that. So Godspeed my friend and rest well you’ve earned it.  I love you, I'll never forget you.

Offline chefjudy

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Re: Chris
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2006, 08:12:26 am »
 :'( as I read this I am tearing up - I never knew Chris personally, but I very much enjoyed his commentary and chatting with him in the Chat Room - my condolences to his family and friends, he will be missed................ :'( :'(
Judy


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Offline nakymaton

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Re: Chris
« Reply #15 on: August 31, 2006, 08:21:16 am »
Oh, no. I'm so sorry to hear this. Shea, CJ, all of Chris's family... I'm so sorry.

And to all the people who knew Chris at imdb, especially Victoria... my condolences to you, too. I'm a late-comer and didn't know Chris particularly well, but it's easy to see he was a special person in the way he touched all of you.

Mel
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Offline Sheriff Roland

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Re: Chris
« Reply #16 on: August 31, 2006, 08:53:26 am »
I am saddened, and like Mel, my heart goes out to all of you who knew Chris, on-line or in person.

To his family, I too wish to extend my heartfelt condolence.

He will be remembered in our thoughts.

Au revoir ami.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2006, 05:13:36 pm by Roland »
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Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Chris
« Reply #17 on: August 31, 2006, 08:57:17 am »
Oh, my God. ...

What happened?  ???

 :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(

J.
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Offline Wayne

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Re: Chris
« Reply #18 on: August 31, 2006, 09:30:44 am »
Ohhhhh .......... I'm so sorry - Chris you touched so many lives. Shea, thanks for keeping up with us - hugs to you - so sorry. I hope you'll stay with us and find some new friends.

I'm so sorry.
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Re: Chris
« Reply #19 on: August 31, 2006, 10:36:34 am »
I just read this, and am shocked. God bless you, Chris--I know you are in a safe and loving place. Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence--we will know you in Eternity.

My condolences to Chris's family and friends. I feel so sorry for his little son--growing up without a dad. But I know his father will look down on him and love him and bless him, though he is a little ways away.

So sorry...love to all,

Scott

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Chris
« Reply #20 on: August 31, 2006, 10:56:30 am »
Thank you, Shea, for informing us. My heart goes out to you and the family. Please accept our sympathy, prayers, and wishes. Does your announcement mean that Chris has died? Could you please be more clear? What was the cause of death? We would be very grateful if you could just give us a little more detail about our friend. Thank you.
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Offline pastorfred

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Re: Chris
« Reply #21 on: August 31, 2006, 11:05:37 am »

I'm so sorry to hear of this! It's a reminder to all of us of the shortness, uncertainty, and preciousness of all our lives.

Because all of us bettermosters are experiencing some grief over this loss, I want to say a few words about death and dying, based on the research of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Using the story and movie of Brokeback Mountain, we can illustrate the five stages of death and dying; these five stages apply equally to grief.

1.) Denial - Upon receiving the postcard marked, "Deceased," Ennis went to a nearby pay phone to call Jack, thinking, "This would be alright, Jack would answer, had to answer."

2.) Anger - Jack did not answer. When Lureen confirmed that Jack really was dead, Ennis began to feel anger at her: "He wanted to curse her for letting Jack die on the dirt road."

3.) Bargaining - Ennis hoped to find comfort by fulfilling Jack's wish to have his ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain. He did not get the ashes, but at least he got the shirts, making a shrine of them.

4.) Depression - The shirts were a cold comfort. Ennis faced life in his lonely trailer, knowing he had lost the love of his life, without ever having realized that he had been the love of his life.

5.) Acceptance - Ennis learned that loving and being loved is the most important thing in life, asking Alma, Jr. if Curt loves her, and deciding to attend their wedding. Ennis's dreams of Jack were his grief and solace. Sometimes the pillow was wet, sometimes the sheets.

These five stages are universal, and each person has to pass through them in our own time. Sometimes we move through them backwards and forwards, and no one can tell anyone else how it must be done or how long it should take. "If you can't fix it, you've got to stand it."
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Offline Impish

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Re: Chris
« Reply #22 on: August 31, 2006, 11:08:15 am »
Just got the news.  I'm saddened, but also a bit angry at the hospital and doctors that allowed this to happen....  well, more than "a bit."

I didn't know Chris very well, but I remember his wonderful sense of humor.  I marvel now at that, now that I know a bit more of his history.  Here was a man who kept a positive attitude, who refused to become bitter, even after experiences that would leave others pale and defeated.

Victoria:  You were a true friend to Chris, and thanks to you, the rest of us were able to keep up-to-date in his last weeks.  More importantly, Chris knew that you were his strongest link  back to his friends here at Bettermost, and knew of your love for him.

I don't mean to negate the grief of others here, but I'm guessing Chris' passing will hit you hardest.  I'm reminded of a line from Terrence McNally's play "Andre's Mother," in which a character says of his recently departed loved one,

"His absence is a thing....  a palpable thing."  I think you'll understand that line more deeply than most.

So to everyone else, I'm asking that all of us here rally around Victoria, to offer your support and love.  You'd do it anyway, without my asking, but I wanted (needed?) to ask it all the same.



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Offline louisev

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Re: Chris
« Reply #23 on: August 31, 2006, 12:32:11 pm »
In re:  Funeral?

perhaps you can tell us where the obituary is posted, and if there is a memorial gift that people can send, or flowers, etc.
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Offline nakymaton

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Re: Chris
« Reply #24 on: August 31, 2006, 12:41:45 pm »
perhaps you can tell us where the obituary is posted, and if there is a memorial gift that people can send, or flowers, etc.

Yes. I've been thinking about Chris's little boy all morning. He came into the world right about the time when I arrived at Bettermost, and, well... it's hard for one person to raise a kid alone. Hard emotionally, most definitely, but also hard financially. If there's anything that I (we?) can do financially, I would like to help.
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Offline Arad-3

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Re: Chris
« Reply #25 on: August 31, 2006, 01:23:54 pm »
Last night when I read that Chris was gone I was so shocked I was at a complete lost for words. I had to log off and try to grasp what I had just read.  Today I am still in shock but I want to send some personal condolences.

First to Chris's family. My heart goes out to all of you.
To Chris's mother; I pray hardest for you. the worse thing that can happen to a mother is losing a child.. The pain must be unbearable. I pray that you will be able to get through this .Thank God you have a little grandson to take care of.

To all of you that were close to Chris;  My condolences to you for losing your friend. Friends are gifts.They can never be replaced.

To Victoria:  I know this news has hit you hard. You and Chris shared what i think was the strongest bond on these boards. We have all had a chance to relize that in the last month or so.  I think it was a combination of being a friend, Aunt or maybe even being a bit of a mother to him. What ever the friendship was to both of you,  I know it was a special one.  .Thank God  Chris did have such a wonderful friend as he had in you. My heart goes out to you. I hope you too will be able to heal in time.

If anyone has any ideas how we can help the family please post them. I really feel like doing something for them. Or even putting on some kind of special memorial day for Chris. So we too can have some closure.

Geri
« Last Edit: August 31, 2006, 03:01:08 pm by Arad-3 »
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Offline Wayne

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Re: Chris
« Reply #26 on: August 31, 2006, 02:01:49 pm »
i'm sure he'll check in on you all from time to time.
:'(    I'm so sorry - I'm confused - do you mean that he died? I'm so sorry, I don't understand!
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Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Chris
« Reply #27 on: August 31, 2006, 02:51:18 pm »
i just read this very sad news.
i know that he will be sadly missed by many, many people
i'd would like to offer my condolences to his family and friends.

Fabienne
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Offline ednbarby

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Re: Chris
« Reply #28 on: August 31, 2006, 03:40:00 pm »
I'm beside myself with this news.  Shea, my heart goes out to you and your family.  Victoria, my heart goes out to you, too, honey.  I'm wrapping my love around you all right now and will be for some time to come.

Chris was a special light, and the world is a lot darker without him.


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Offline DeeDee

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Re: Chris
« Reply #29 on: August 31, 2006, 03:55:25 pm »
Just got home and I don't know what to say.  Words fail me right now.  I need to process this and I will post then.
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Chris
« Reply #30 on: August 31, 2006, 04:11:11 pm »
This is indeed very shocking and sad news.  I have asked the CT moderators to make this our official condolences and memorial thread, and I'd also like Victoria to keep the first message in the thread updated through edits with any further information about arrangements and, if possible, contact information so that our community can send cards and notes to Chris' family at this very difficult time.

I know I speak for all of us when I say Chris is irreplaceable and has been an extremely important part of BetterMost since he got here.  He will be in all of our thoughts and memories, and his posts here will remain as long as BetterMost continues.
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Offline Becky

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #31 on: August 31, 2006, 04:51:16 pm »
What? No this can't be true! This news has absolutely floored me. I've been staring at the computer screen for about 10 minutes thinking of what to say, but the words just aren't coming: but the tears are.
I never knew Chris as much as I would have liked, and I know that is my fault more than his, parted by an ocean but united by IMDb and more importantly our love of eachother and the other wonderful people around us. When ever I spoke to Chris he made me laugh and that is how I wish to remember him. I am even smiling now as I am about to leave BM to go and have a shower I think what Chris always used to say when I left to take a shower, and promised i would be back later to ramble, "Yeah you need one, I can smell you from here". Which always made me smile and thank him for his 'kindness' before I reluctantly pulled my self away from his adictive banter.
Parted by a sea, bought together by a common cause and now parted for ever. Rest in peace Chris, we will love you for ever. :'(
My thoughts are with Shea, CJ and Chris' family, I send my love and support to you in this hard time.

Chris is our Jack, and BM is our Mountain now we have to be Ennis' and accept, but NEVER forget!  :'( :'( :'( :'(
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Offline Katie77

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #32 on: August 31, 2006, 05:21:39 pm »
There are not words yet that I can think of......this is so damn sad.....a terrible loss to his son, his family, his friends, us.......................
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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #33 on: August 31, 2006, 08:30:40 pm »
At Phil's request I have put this on the bottom of Shea's message on the first page as well.

I have sent messages to Chris's family and requested information on any planned memorial, interment etc. and an address to send our condolences's.  I am also monitoring the Layton/Salt Lake obituaries in the hope of catching something.  Those frequently run for only a day or two.  Chris's Mom may also elect to take Chris home to Texas for interment and may not run an obituary, many folks do not.  Of course I will pass on any info I receive. However should the this very private family choose to remain private, my family and I plan to make a sizable donation to the Matthew Shepard Foundation in memory of Chris. It is a charity that I know Chris supported from my conversations with him.  I am also looking into a donation to the National Film Preservation Foundation since movies were Chris's passion.  If anyone would like info on either of those charities please let me know.

I will not be around much for a while for obivious reasons but will  log in briefly if I have any updates to share.  To everyone who has been so kind. Thank You words fail me but you know I am grateful for the support.

Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #34 on: August 31, 2006, 10:29:16 pm »
Oh my.  What tremendously sad news.   :'( 

It certainly is hard to know what to say at a time like this. But, like everyone here, I'd like to send on my best wishes to his family and all his friends. 

The last message he posted here is unbelievably poignant in light of this turn of events. 
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Offline SFEnnisSF

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #35 on: August 31, 2006, 10:57:29 pm »
I'm saddened and in shock.  :'(

I remember his posts on IMDB.  He was an important part of our Brokeback experience.  Chris, you will never be forgotten...  We swear!

Offline kirkmusic

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #36 on: August 31, 2006, 11:19:06 pm »
A word to Chris' family about CJ from someone who also lost their father as an infant: Regardless of any lack of cognitive memory of his dad, the bond will still be there for him.  Keep Chris' pictures around.  Make sure CJ knows who his dad was.  It will be important to him.

Love and healing to Shea, CJ, the rest of Chris' family, Vicoria, and everyone here at BM who knew and loved him.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2006, 11:21:14 pm by kirkmusic »

Offline fernly

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #37 on: August 31, 2006, 11:22:27 pm »
to Chris' family, to Vic and all Chris' dear friends, I am heartbroken over this loss of such a wonderful person

Shea, you and your family, especially little CJ, you are in my thoughts, sending you love and support
on the mountain flying in the euphoric, bitter air

Offline David In Indy

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #38 on: August 31, 2006, 11:52:58 pm »
I am just utterly shocked and saddened to hear this terrible news about Chris. I have been sick and I haven't posted much in the forum for awhile. I saw the news about Chris on news banner today when I logged on to read a pm sent to me by a friend.

I just can't believe it. I'm having trouble even processing it and I don't know what to say.

I'm just heartsick.

My thoughts and prayers now turn to Chris' family.

Come to his assistance you Saints of God. Come forth to meet him you angels of the Lord.
Receive his soul and offer it in the Sight of the Most High.
May Christ who has called you, receive you, and may the angels lead you into Paradise.

Eternal rest grant him oh Lord and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace.

Rest in Peace Chris. I will miss you buddy!  :'(
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline twistedude

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #39 on: September 01, 2006, 12:10:07 am »
I am so sorry for all of you, and Chris's family. I did not know him (unless--what was his posting name?). 
"We're each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand out in the dark?" --"Nine Lives," by Ursula K. Le Guin, from The Wind's Twelve Quarters

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #40 on: September 01, 2006, 01:20:03 am »
Although I am new here I am sorry to hear of you guys here at BM looseing a close friend.  He sounded like an amazing man. :'(

Offline Aussie Chris

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #41 on: September 01, 2006, 05:50:12 am »
Awful, awful news.  No other words seem appropriate.
Nothing is as common as the wish to be remarkable - William Shakespeare

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Re: Chris
« Reply #42 on: September 01, 2006, 06:32:17 am »
Oh my god. I can't believe it. As a relative latecomer to the Tremblay board, I didn't even know Chris very well. But he seemed like such a great guy (as that post shows), who'd been through so much. And with a new baby! This is so, so shocking.

My thoughts are with his family.


The same here, relative newcomer and haven't even had the chance to get to know Chris, but OMG- this really shocked me, it's terrible to hear this about somebody so young and with a new baby! My thoughts go out to his family...

Offline Ray

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #43 on: September 01, 2006, 07:30:19 am »
Stacks!  See you in the next one mate.  I hope life gave you some great pleasures.
~A good general knows when to retreat~

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #44 on: September 01, 2006, 09:15:28 am »
Just a thought. ...

Those we love never really leave us, because they stay in our hearts as long as we live.

It's not much, but this has helped me through the two or three great losses in my life.

J.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #45 on: September 01, 2006, 12:50:59 pm »
Oh my god. I don't want to believe this.
I can't find the right words here. This is so horrible, so shocking.

My thoughts go to Chris parents, his brother, little CJ, Victoria and all of you who were close to him.


Offline David

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #46 on: September 01, 2006, 05:13:50 pm »
Aw crap!     :'(


I thought we saw you thru the worst buddy.     I hope you went gently into the night my friend.

Rest in Peace Chris.    May you ride off into the sunset and up to Brokeback, harmonica in hand.

Peace
David~ 

Offline Katie77

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #47 on: September 01, 2006, 07:23:30 pm »



Rest in Peace Chris.    May you ride off into the sunset and up to Brokeback, harmonica in hand.

Peace
David~ 

Yes David, I think we all have that vision of Chris riding off into the sunset up to Brokeback...........

Rest, dear Chris, among the hills and the sky..........we will all meet again one day.....I Swear........

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline delalluvia

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #48 on: September 02, 2006, 01:36:13 pm »
 :'( (because there is no screaming face)

Offline starboardlight

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #49 on: September 02, 2006, 01:37:47 pm »
Oh man! I can't believe this. Chris, may your spirit now be at peace where ever you are, my friend. We've come to love you as a family member, and I'll never forget the close intimacy we've shared.
"To do is to be." Socrates. - "To be is to do." Plato. - "Do be do be do" Sinatra.

Offline Amber

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #50 on: September 03, 2006, 12:47:41 am »
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family and friends.
"... and Ennis, not big on endearments, said what he said to his horses and daughters, little darlin." ~Proulx

"Life is not a succession of urgents nows; it is a listless trickle of why-should-I's."  Johnny Depp as the Second Earl of Rochester.

Offline Chriscd45

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #51 on: September 05, 2006, 12:32:57 am »
I didn't know him. But I have seen some of his posts. Seemed like a sweet person.

My prayers go out to his family and friends. May they find peace.

Here is a song that has helped me get through many deaths in my own life.

"Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say.
Now it's too late to hold you. '
Cause you've flown away, so far away.

Never, Had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile.
Feelin' and knowing you hear me.
It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Darling, I never showed you.
Assumed you'd always be there.
I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven.
Like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Although, the sun will never shine the same, I'll
always look to a brighter day.

Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep,
You'll always listen, as I pray!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Sorry, I Never told you, all I wanted to say "
"I still feel like a child as I look at the moon, maybe I grew up a little too soon"

"If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it"

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #52 on: September 05, 2006, 09:55:31 am »
The Chris that I knew was completely without ego or pride. He was a happy-go-lucky guy, much like Jack, who let the Sturm and Drang of us just roll over him. He was always so admiring of anything I said and always ready to listen, that he made me feel whole again when I woke up in the night feeling like a thousand shards of myself. And he was always happy to go whatever direction I wanted to go in whether thoughtful, zany, or ranting, never judgemental, and hardly ever having strong opinions of his own. A chameleon-like person, he sympathized with the Jacks and Ennises, as well as all the colorful personalities that showed up in the chat room or discussion boards. I don't know who he was or where he went but I know that he helped me, listened to me, and connected with me, and he was a true friend.
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline RouxB

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #53 on: September 05, 2006, 03:01:56 pm »
Lee-

Thanks for that. The weekend was tough for me-missing Chris who was so much a part of what CT has meant to me. I seem to be mourning  a lot of loss these days and without the comfort that I have come to depend on this past year. Somehow my process of grieving Chris' passage was interrupted by other drama this past week and caught up to me this past Satuday.

So, Chris, know that you were loved by many for your readiness to "ROFLOL", your ever- presence in the chat room to welcome whoever just happened to drop by, your concern for the well-being of others, your dedication to your family and your strength in overcoming some crazy obstacles in your life. You were so much more than just a name to me and I thank you for including me in your life-if even for just this short time. I will hold your memory in my heart always.

Your Rub

 O0


Heathen

Offline littleguitar

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #54 on: September 05, 2006, 03:57:02 pm »
Quote
I don't know who he was or where he went but I know that he helped me, listened to me, and connected with me, and he was a true friend.

Lee, thank you for those beautiful words.

For the past 9 months I spent hours at a time almost every single night talking to Chris. I shared more with him than I share with many of my closest friends at home whom I see daily. He helped me through many hard times and was always there if I needed to talk or even if I just needed to laugh. He was kind, open, warm hearted, generous and I trusted him completley. There is a huge hole in my life right now that he used to occupy and I honestly have no words to explain how much I feel his loss. He was my friend and I loved him. I can only hope that I gave him at least a little of what he gave me in return and that wherever he is he knows that he was loved.

I miss you buddy.

Your, Mandster
‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #55 on: September 05, 2006, 10:59:12 pm »
So I come into this news after a few days away after receiving a mass email on the order or War and Peace.

Said author has gone to a lot of trouble to mine addresses to get their point across.

I offer my sincere condolences to his family. This news troubles me on a few levels.

Rest in peace dear soul, friend to all here.

Let be, Let be. 
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #56 on: September 06, 2006, 09:42:10 am »
I am very sorry to learn of the vituperative, personal attacks into which discourse on this sensitive and deeply felt issue has devolved. I have had my impudent and facetious moods on these boards, but I have never sought to willfully hurt another's feelings (and I apologize to anyone if that has been the case), and it pains me to read of such efforts. I feel that we at BetterMost have become a family, coalesced around love for one timeless, beautiful story, and I was in awe of how we were fostering one another's personal growth, first on IMDb, and then here. I would hate to see us lose this precious, delicate gift that has been given to us, and which we give to ourselves and each other.

Victoria, my heart goes out to you. You are a beautiful and caring human being. I condole with you in the pain you are dealing with, on so many levels.

To address the issue of the elephant in the living room, the issue which no one seems willing to state out loud, I will say only this. If my words are deemed insensitive or inappropriate, moderators may delete or amend with no ill will from me. But it is this--phantoms, if and when they come into play, can impinge upon our hearts and lives as powerfully as a flesh-and-blood person. We are, after all, here ultimately out of love and abiding concern for two phantoms. Their names are Ennis and Jack.

Peace to all, let's keep the love alive...
Scott

Offline JennyC

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #57 on: September 06, 2006, 10:38:12 am »
What had happened???!!!  How can this happen after we thought he is recovering...  I don't know what to say :'( :'( :'( 

I am so sorry to hear this news.  I have been on vacation and have not checked the broad until today.  Chris, I will miss you terribly even through we have not official met face to face.  I felt that I have known you for a long time. 

Rest in peace my friend.  I will always remember you ...

Jenny  :'(

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: The Chris Memorial Thread
« Reply #58 on: September 06, 2006, 01:13:49 pm »
To everyone in CT who have shared their thoughts about Chris, I thank you, and I am certain the family appreciates these kind wishes and regards at this difficult time.

I am aware that a bunch of people have received unsolicited e-mail about this matter as well as replies to that unsolicited e-mail.  I am disappointed in the tone of the messages, the language in some of them, and most importantly the fact that these were sent to people who I suspect have no interest in debating the subject at hand.

These e-mail addresses were not released by anyone here - apparently they were collected by the originator of some of the messages over time here.  Your private contact information remains entirely private.  If your account profile is set to display your e-mail address, that information can be had by any registered user here.  You can change that setting by clicking the Profile button.

Because of the concerns raised by a number of members about this situation, I feel it is appropriate to lock this thread and move us forward. On the matter of those e-mails: It is very easy for us to fall into the trap of intrigue and worrying about other people instead of growing ourselves as individuals and help keep this community moving forward with positive energy.  We need to worry more about ourselves than the affairs of others, and I remind everyone that personal attacks are never permitted here.

I appreciate your understanding, and this thread and its good wishes will remain here for those who wish to revisit it in the future.  If I had a mailing address for Chris' family for cards and notes of condolence, I would share it with you, but that isn't available to me at this time.  I'll edit the thread if conditions change.
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Offline montferrat

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Thank you...
« Reply #59 on: September 07, 2006, 04:42:13 am »
Thank you Chris,
For being a friend when I needed it. For bringing fun into my life when I was fumbling around in a state of confusion, contemplation, depression, introspection, and hope.

I will never , ever, forget the nights on IMDB on the "Walter" board, typing with  Mandy, Vic, Brandon, and others...Laughing, bitching, flirting (mostly one-sided of course!) and just generally havin' a ball. :-)

You were a loyal pal, a fiery defender, and a general smartass. And I will miss you very much.

I wish your son peace, comfort, and all the blessings he deserves.

Paul
« Last Edit: September 07, 2006, 04:44:01 am by montferrat »
"hunh?!" ~ Ennis Del Mar