Author Topic: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)  (Read 6465 times)

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2009, 09:08:47 pm »
I hate when people do shit like this.

be a man and divorce your wife, and then go find what you want.

::)

Or not, and just deal. Jeez. ...

I hate it, too, Chuck.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2009, 09:23:56 pm »
But Chuck, what if he needs both. What is someone who is truly bisexual supposed to do?

My understanding is that bisexuality means you are interested in either sex. It doesn't mean you have to have both.


Offline milomorris

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2009, 09:32:21 pm »
My understanding is that bisexuality means you are interested in either sex. It doesn't mean you have to have both.

Right. But there lots of bi married men out there who do. I don't know about bi married women, but I'd suspect that must apply to some of them too.
  The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2009, 10:36:57 pm »
Right. But there lots of bi married men out there who do. I don't know about bi married women, but I'd suspect that must apply to some of them too.

No doubt. But my point is, bisexuality isn't an excuse for infidelity. It just increases the population of people you can be unfaithful with. It's not about "needing both."




Offline milomorris

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2009, 11:22:49 pm »
No doubt. But my point is, bisexuality isn't an excuse for infidelity. It just increases the population of people you can be unfaithful with. It's not about "needing both."

I'm not suggesting infidelity. What should a person in this situation do?
  The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2009, 11:39:54 pm »
Wow.  Makes me wistful.

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2009, 11:46:34 pm »
I'm not suggesting infidelity. What should a person in this situation do?

I'm not sure. But in my case (I am bisexual) I chose the path of least resistance, marriage to an opposite sex person, and I've tried to live within the bounds as much as I can. There are many times I've wondered what my life would have been like if I'd been more courageous. This is all covered in the novel The Women's Room.

Bisexual people may be the last frontier. Not straight, not gay, not transgender, not here nor there. Feared by everyone, understood by none, including themselves.
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Seek Friend - 51 (NOCO/Wy)
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2009, 12:16:25 am »
I'm not suggesting infidelity. What should a person in this situation do?

Well, Front-Ranger's answer is both better informed and more eloquent. But my answer would be, whatever the person should do isn't necessarily any different than what a straight or gay person should do.

Again, as I understand it -- and people with firsthand knowledge can correct me if I'm wrong -- the fact that you're attracted to people of both sexes doesn't mean you need to be with people of both sexes. It just expands your options. That is, if you're a bisexual man married to a woman who is no longer interested in sex, you can have an affair with a man or a woman (assuming you can deal with the moral implications of the infidelity). Or you can get a divorce and get involved with a man or a woman (assuming you find the divorce part morally acceptable). Or you can get your wife to change her mind. Or you can not have sex.

In other words, you have the exact same options as you'd have if you were straight or gay, only your other partners could include people of either sex.

The way I understand bisexuality, as a straight woman, is this: Let's say I'm attracted to both George Clooney and Brad Pitt. That doesn't mean I must have sex with both, it simply means I'd be happy having sex with either. If I were bisexual, I might feel the same way about George Clooney and Angelina Jolie. Same thing -- I don't need both, but either one or the other would do.

Again, those of you who know from firsthand experience can correct me if I'm wrong.

I used to think that bisexuality offered the best of both worlds, as presumably it put the entire human race up for grabs, so to speak, as opposed to just half of it. A bisexual friend educated me that it's a bit more complicated than that -- that there are social challenges, the neither-fish-nor-fowl identity that Front-Ranger alluded to. So it's not easy street. But maybe someday, as social attitudes lighten up, it will be the ideal.