Current Weather in Indianapolis: Mostly Cloudy Temp: 51 F (10 C)
My Current Mood: HappyWill Rogers once said if advertisers spent the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising, they wouldn't have to advertise it.
It was the summer of 1973, and I had just settled down into my bed with my favorite comic book. I was a very imaginitive child and easily impressionable. After voraciously reading through my entire comic book, I started looking through the ads they always placed in the very back of the book.
A particular ad caught my eye. In the ad, tiny people could be seen sitting in front of an underwater castle. They looked very much like tiny humans with little faces, arms, legs and even a crown on their heads! They were called Sea Monkeys and they could be mine for the price of $1.25 (plus shipping and handling). The next morning I told my Mom and Dad about the Sea Monkeys. Of course they tried their best to talk me out of the idea, but I had already made up my mind. (Did I mention I was also very stubborn?) I was ten or eleven years old at the time, and I quickly filled out the order form, dropped my allowance into the envelope and put it in the mail.
Several weeks later, my Sea Monkey kit arrived! The kit consisted of a small plastic container (with a bubble built into the front of it for magnification) and three small envelopes. The directions instructed me to fill the container up with tap water and add the contents of the first envelope into the container. Next, after letting the mixture sit for two hours, the instructions said to add the contents of the second envelope (the plasma). This envelope contained the Sea Monkeys and once they were added to the water, they would hatch immediately. Cool! But after reading a bit further, the instructions told me I would have to wait roughly two weeks before the Sea Monkeys would be visible to the naked eye. TWO WEEKS?? Two weeks to an impatient 11 year old boy is an enternity! It might have well been TWO YEARS! But I waited, and I obediently added a small pinch of powder from the third envelope (the food) every day; just like the instructions said.
Every day, I laid on my bed, looking at the small plastic container. I tried to imagine what was going on in there. Where the little Sea Monkeys building their underwater castle now? What were they doing? When they grow up, would they talk to me? And if so, would I be able to understand them? What if they didn't speak English or Dutch? Would I be able to take them out of the water and play with them? All kinds of questions were running through my mind. I couldn't wait! But I still couldn't see them.
Finally after nealy 14 days, I thought I could see some movement in the container. I looked through the little "bubble magnifier" and waited for something to swim by. I was anxious to see my new little friends.
I couldn't believe what I saw.
I soon found out my Sea Monkeys were
Artemia salina.
Brine Shrimp.
A Sea Monkey ad from the early 1970'sThis was my first encounter with American advertising. And it certainly wasn't to be the last time I was disappointed.
After reading Sue's blog today, I suddenly started thinking about all the gadgets, gimmicks and contraptions they advertise on television and through the mail; both postal and email.
It seems most of these crazy gadgets are for the kitchen. I guess they figure Americans are terrible cooks and we need all the help we can get. My father ordered a double sided, hinged spatula a couple of months ago. It looked wonderful in the commercial. The lady was flipping, turning and scooping things out of the skillet with the greatest of ease. This double spatula cost my father $19.99 (plus shipping and handling) but if he ordered in the next 30 minutes, they would double his order and give him two spatulas, for the same price.
One of the spatulas melted the first time he used it and almost ruined his skillet. He's afraid to use the second one.
Solar powered car fans, double sided spatulas, magic egg dicers, Ginsu knives, Chia pets, "stick to the wall" picture hooks, "stick on the wall" light bulbs (shatter proof too), "cool to the touch" solderers, "clap on, clap off" clappers, Sea Monkeys... the list goes on and on, doesn't it?
They all look wonderful, they all sound like the answer to all our problems and the little lady in the commercial makes it look so easy.
Tis the season, folks! Christmas is just around the corner and we will be seeing more and more of these gimmicks appearing in television ads.
What is the point of this post?
Hell, I don't know!
I just felt like typing it.
Will Rogers also said if the world comes to an end, he would want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
God. I wonder what he would have said about Indianapolis?