I do believe Alma loved Ennis very much, mostly because he was so emotionally unavailable (same reason why Cassie fell in love I guess, he was such an enigma and so manly and the combination can be really attractive) and she really hung on to the signs of affection from Ennis through the years. I think, though, as soon as she had been directly confronted with Ennis and where Ennis' heart really lay, she put up a barrier and emotionally distanced herself from him to avoid being hurt.
Do I make sense?
You make completetly sense, I just tend to have another opinion
I don't see her as totally in love with Ennis from the beginning on.
As for Alma's feelings while they were still married, I think she loved Ennis. But I don't think the love was particularly passionate, because she just wasn't a passionate person. Nor did she really expect passion from him. As Chrissi says, her expectations from life were pretty simple: husband, kids, place in town she can fix up real nice. Once she had those things, she didn't look much beyond them. That's why she didn't realize anything was amiss with Ennis until she saw how different he was with Jack.
Maybe that's just what she was: a not very passionate person. Guess she hadn't very passionate feelings about Monroe either. But we don't know.
In the movie, Alma looks pretty infatuated with Ennis at first -- at the wedding, and sledding, and at the drive-in. She's so young, though, and it seems like she doesn't know Ennis very well... though maybe nobody except Jack knows Ennis very well.
Yes, she's somehow sweet and nice, also after 4 years of marriage, when Ennis is waiting for Jack. But I still got the feeling she wasn't particulary infatuated with
Ennis as a person, but with her
husband. This fits with your remark that she didn't know him very well: had she been totally into Ennis, had he been her once-in-a-lifetime-love, she would have noticed that something is pretty wrong before she saw them; she would have gone crazy with his holding back, with his inaccessibility.
Alma's expression at Thanksgiving:
Her half-smile says she at least half-fondly remembers those times (even though most / all happened after the reunion), likes seeing the girls enjoy their fathers presence, but her smile is weighted down by everything thats happened.
Wow, a complete different reading from what I think about her in this scene. I think she is resentful. I think her smile to be forced, fitting perfectly into the tension. I got the feeling she does not like Ennis to be with her (new) family at her new home (pretty nicely fixed up, btw), with her new husband. She invited him only for the sake of their children.
Both, her daughter (Junior) and Ennis give uncertain looks to her, as if looking for clues about her mood. Looking as if they want to make sure they don't say anything wrong, anything that could make her sad/angry.
But fernly has some good points, too. It's only natural to have mixed feelings.
I don't know if she's deliberately trying to hurt Ennis -- in the movie she says it kind of hesitantly, and in the story she says it under her breath -- but tell you what, I've never quite understood what the deal is with Ennis' income and Alma's frustration over it. He's not in a very lucrative field, he quits jobs to be with Jack, and she says they're behind on the bills. On the other hand, he seems responsible and hard working; it's not like he's drinking up his paychecks while the girls go hungry. They have two incomes. So why are they so broke?
In the story, they aren't
so broke with both of them working.
"She saw she'd always have to work to keep ahead of the bills Looks to me that they managed to come around with two wages.
But if she'd have another baby, they'd have additional costs and less income. At least for a while she'd have to stop working.
Why does Alma hold Ennis so responsible for their money problems (beyond it just being the way people thought about marital roles in those days, I mean)?
It's part of the package she wanted, what includes traditional role allocation.
While I was typing, Mikaela's reply came in. But this post is long enough and I'll send it just as it is, before reading Mikaela' post.