You guys are way too nice....
get your saddle as this is going to be a long one....
12/18-22
so we get a plan. My sister is coming over for Christmas (actually the 23-25), but the catch is that her boyfriend is coming too. He WAS on drugs (the worst ones at that) and he at once tried to kill her, and he even broke her door down. I've been told that he is clean now, and not a bad guy when he's sober. I kinda met him and he thinks i'm intelligent, which is good. I'm still scared, though. I told my mom not to let him come, but then i gave in and said 'well, if she wants to bring him, than bring him!' Last Thanksgiving she brought a homeless friend of hers to our family get-together.
He did nothing but call me 'faggot' all day....
but worst of all, no one stood up for me. No one cared. My sister said she noticed and it pissed her off, but she didn't do anything about it. He called me faggot for no good reasons, like me beating everyone at Disney Scene-it, or me winning Mario Cart. He pissed me off. Than at the end of the day, he says 'it was nice meeting you'.
my homophobic brother is coming early tomorrow. He will be staying for a couple of hours, which is cool. He's lonely, i can tell. He's 20, and very odd.... (aren't we all?)
So, on Thursday, which was the last day of school before christmas, i'm walking with my crush (BILL) and he has a pop, and he offers some to me. First, i'm thinking WTF? Most people i know don't like drinking after someone else, but he word for word said 'i don't really care.' So i took some of his pop and downed it. I got to drink after him, you know your a loser when that makes your day!
We had a good after school talk. He asked why i'm always in a hurry. i said shyly 'because i think i can get annoying after a while.' What i meant was, 'sometimes, i think i'm annoying you.' He didn't quite respond.
12/22
The CHRISTMAS DANCESo me and a friend (girl) are going together, and as a couple because its cheaper (by a dollar, lol) Well, she abandons me after two seconds, and i'm left lerching. I start dancing a tad, but i notice BILL sitting by himself, looking at the girl he really, really likes. I felt so sad for him. I just wanted for him to get her, he looked depserate.
I danced with several girls, and me and BILL head banged to a couple of songs together, which was cool. I was (not to be too gross) 'dirty dancing' with a girl i know, and Bill was standing next to me, sad, and longing to talk to the girl he likes (he is VERY shy) Well, than a slow song is put on
and i started dancing with another girl, and i just rested my head on her shoulder, and moaped. I wanted BILL to have a good time, but he looked so sad and alone. I got to talk to him finally, and i told him he should ask the girl he likes to dance. He said 'no shit' and he said he couldn't find her. That was a lie, i know it. But its okay, its human to lie and to try and cover up you're own insecurities. I pointed to her direction (he knew where she was
)
He must of walked by her 4 times, before he asked her to dance. I think he ws planning on getting close, and hoping that she would drag him in, if you all get what i mean. It didn't happen. She seemingly politely turned him down. When he told me, he said it didn't matter, and was kind of happy about it. I wasn't
I was crestfallen, but its okay now.
So the girl i went to the dance with runs to the bathroom. She just broke up with her boyfriend, because he was cheating on her (he didn't come to the dance.) Then she was mad at me, because she thought i was telling everyone that her and her boyfriend at sex. me and a friend told BILL, and thats it. BILL isn't the type that would go back on his word, and spread a rumor. Well, she is pissed off at me, and i can't get her to dance. During this all MY EX IS LAUGHING ALL TO HELL BECAUSE SHE THINKS THAT IF ME AND MY 'DATE' HAVE PROBLEMS THEN I WOULD GO BACK OUT WITH HER! No, never again.
Welcome to the Jungle was the only good song they played all night. Me and BILL went nuts, as its one of his favorites, and i love it too. He is just jumping over walls, like a frog on crack. I'm doing all this weird dancing that envolves some strength (but i have been working out) I danced so hard, i thought i was going to die. I couldn't tell if i was dreaming or what. BILL bought me a drink after words, than he decides that he is going to go outside early. I do too. I'm sitting on a bench when Bill is walking away with some people i don't know when he calls me out and says 'peace!' That's not how i wanted to say goodbye. The woman he was with told me to come to her. it was his sister (who works with my mom) she shakes my hand, and the first thing i say to her is "you guys have the same eyes." They both have ravishing eyes. They are virtually black, but thought provoking. She kinda looks down, as if flattered or embarrassed. Well, Bill kinda puts his hand on my shoulder, and i do the same for him (he took of his shirt, so he only had a wife beater on) and he said drunkingly 'have a nice-' than he kind of mixed up his words. I was doing the same, i was tired out of hell.
He starts to walk away when his sister turns and asks 'are you waiting for something?' I started to say 'my mom' but BILL runs up (literally) and gives me half a hug. I was too shocked to hug back, and he half mumbled '
i love you, man.'
it almost broke my heart. I felt dizzy, and i didn't know what was real or not. He than ran up the the girl he likes and kisses her (i think so anyway)
I say my last goodbyes, and i do a front roll on the cement. It was wet from the evening rain. It had to calm down my twisted heart. Britany (BILL's sister) yells 'are you okay?' I said i am, and she tells me to tell my mom that she said hi.
It was all too short. The dance (do to a basketball game) was only 2 1/2 hours. They are usually about 4 hours. I was so dilapidated when he left. I just wanted to die.
I hope i didn't bore you guys too much, but i had to get this stuff down. I was too afraid to forget it.