Seven years, damn. How does your Brokie experience effect your life these days?

[serious crayons]

I haven't seen the movie in six years. I don't think about it probably even once a week. I lost interest in further analyzing its amazing subtleties years ago.

But it has definitely made a longlasting impact on my life. To this day, I catch myself at least thinking of Brokieisms (someone on Facebook just today asked about religion, and I almost answered, "My folks was agnostic").

I think I understand cinema and art and even literaure much better through deeply analayzing the movie here.

I also feel like I've made what I hope will be longterm connections with friends around the world, with whom I share a semi-secret connection. For example, I'm going this summer to Spain and France and made efforts to connect with Brokies in both countries (though sadly, because of geographic constraints, neither one may work out -- major bummer), but both were super friendly and helpful and, I think, would have liked to see me.

I feel like I've honed my argumentative skills (no comments, please  ), and am glad to have interacted with intelligent people whose views are wildly different from my own.

I know stuff like this happens all over the internet, but I feel like we've shared a really unusual and deep and powerful experience that not everybody can claim -- far deeper than anything on Facebook or Twitter -- and that people who didn't have something similar are definitely missing out.

[Meryl]

My feelings are pretty much the same, Katherine.  If I weren't on the computer daily and checking in with Brokie friends here and on Facebook, I would probably lapse into occasional Brokeisms and get-togethers as the extent of my Brokeback consciousness.

But I DO check in daily, and as a matter of course I go through periods of really thinking about aspects of the movie.  If it shows up on cable, I almost always watch at least a portion of it.  One thing I mean to do soon is re-read the story.  Often people will quote a sentence from it that I don't remember at all, so it's time for a refresher.

I think if BetterMost were to disappear, I would be bereft, as this has become a part of my identity and I would miss the "semi-secret connection" as you call it.  That's why me end up here. 

[CellarDweller]

Wow, it's kind of hard to say.

I can't recall the last time I watched the movie, I guess it was the last "Beyond Brokeback" event that I went to.  I don't think of the movie the way that I used to.  I believe it was Jimmy (gnash) who said that "it went from being about 'Brokeback - the movie' and now it's about 'Brokeback - the people', meaning the other Brokies.

While I don't think of the movie/book much anymore, I think of the Brokies on a daily basis.  My cube is full of pics from Brokie gatherings, and I get excited thinking about future gatherings.

Occasionally a Brokie-ism will escape my lips.  Just this week my supervisor (Maria) made a comment about thinking about something, and I said "You're a real thinker there, Maria!"    If I'm at a bar and a drink comes with a twist, I automatically think of Jack.

[serious crayons]

I often wish BetterMost had a "like" button. 

[Front-Ranger]

I often wish BetterMost had a "like" button. 

And a poke button. I don't use it on Facebook, but I need one here for certain renegades on the lam. 

[Shakesthecoffecan]

A lot of times I will hear Jack or Ennis singing in the lyrics of songs from their time, like this one by Neil Young:

There is a town in north Ontario,
With dream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind
I still need a place to go,
All my changes were there.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now?
The chains are locked
And tied across the door,
Baby, sing with me somehow.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless.

The experience of having Jack and Ennis in my life makes me aware of how many thwarted love affairs there have been, and probably always will be.

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aoqVEYzsZk[/youtube]

[Front-Ranger]

You're right, Truman. We see the songs, the movies, and indeed the whole world through the lens of Brokeback Mountain now. It is our baseline.

[Katie77]

You're right, Truman. We see the songs, the movies, and indeed the whole world through the lens of Brokeback Mountain now. It is our baseline.

Thats an excellent way of describing where I am now, after all these years....just as a song or a photograph brings back memories of times with my family or friends, they also bring back memories of not only the Brokeback story, but about my feelings and emotions when I first saw the movie.

There is no doubt it is, and always will be a part of my life, it is part of my profile that my friends and family identify with me and accept with me, and I like that....it means it is part of me, its how others see me, and that is pretty unique and I am very proud of that association.

And talking of songs, when I hear this song, all I can think of is Jack and Ennis.....

"Different Drum"


 You and I travel to the beat of a different drum
 Oh can't you tell by the way I run
 Every time you make eyes at me
 Wo-oh
 
You cry and moan and say it will work out
 But honey child I've got my doubts
 You can't see the forest for the trees
 
Oh don't get me wrong
 It's not that I knock it
 It's just that I am not in the market
 For a boy who wants to love only me
 
Yes, and I ain't saying you ain't pretty
 All I'm saying is I'm not ready
 For any person place or thing
 To try and pull the reins in on me
 
So good-bye I'll be leaving
 I see no sense in this crying and grieving
 We'll both live a lot longer
 If you live without me
 
Oh don't get me wrong
 It's not that I knock it
 It's just that I am not in the market
 For a boy who wants to love only me
 
Yes, and I ain't saying you ain't pretty
 All I'm saying is I'm not ready
 For any person place or thing
 To try and pull the reins in on me
 
So good-bye I'll be leaving
 I see no sense in this crying and grieving
 We'll both live a lot longer
 If you live without me


The song was written by Mike Nesmith of the Monkees, and most popular recording was by Linda Ronstadt......







 

[serious crayons]

As long as we're talking Jack and Ennis songs, mine is Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here":

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in a war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fears
Wish you were here

[southendmd]

Surely, Katherine, you mean "affect".  LOL

Brokeback remains a source of both joy and sadness for me. 

While I have enough "stuff" around my house to remind me, I too:  check in daily to BetterMost; cherish my Brokie friends; pepper my speech with Brokieisms; love being part of a "secret society"; and feel bad for people who don't have this kind of connection.

As for the sadness, Tru summed it up:  we're helpless.

The experience of having Jack and Ennis in my life makes me aware of how many thwarted love affairs there have been, and probably always will be.

I'm a pretty "out" Brokie.  Some people think I'm crazy; others just accept it as a part of me.  I'll never forget all the sympathy calls/emails I got when Heath died.

[serious crayons]

Surely, Katherine, you mean "affect".  LOL

Thanks, editor!    Your right ( ).
 
E/Affect is one I always have to stop and think about for a moment, and this time I apparently neglected to do that.

[southendmd]

Now I'll stop calling you Shirley. 

[CellarDweller]

I'll never forget all the sympathy calls/emails I got when Heath died.

I will always remember this:

Heath was declared dead late in the afternoon, I only found out about it when I got a call from Rich, who was very distraught.  It was around the time I leave work, so I left, keeping Rich on the phone to try and calm him down.  That night, most of my coworkers saw the story.

The next day at work, I got the message that Jackie had died.  I sat there in my cube, trying to processes this, and focus on work, when three coworkers came over to tell me that they were sorry about Heath.  I vaguely remember telling them that I didn't know Heath, but that my friend Jackie just died, and the lost it and burst into sobs.

[Meryl]

I will always remember this:

Heath was declared dead late in the afternoon, I only found out about it when I got a call from Rich, who was very distraught.  It was around the time I leave work, so I left, keeping Rich on the phone to try and calm him down.  That night, most of my coworkers saw the story.

The next day at work, I got the message that Jackie had died.  I sat there in my cube, trying to processes this, and focus on work, when three coworkers came over to tell me that they were sorry about Heath.  I vaguely remember telling them that I didn't know Heath, but that my friend Jackie just died, and the lost it and burst into sobs.

That was so hard on you, Chuck.  I was knocked over when Heath died.  To have it happen again the next day with a close friend---it's just too much to even think about.  ((((((((((Chuck))))))))))

[Front-Ranger]

How I became a Brokie: After seeing the movie in January of 2006, I was hit by a sudden need to talk about it with like-minded people. Surfing around, I found the discussion board on imdb. Trolls began to infiltrate, but my need to discuss the movie was so great that the trolls didn't bother me at all. I believe it was somebody in Texas who told me about the hidden board over on Chez Tremblay. I only participated for a week or two when Celeste orchestrated our exodus to BetterMost. I joined BetterMost on March 8 and was grateful to Celeste and NewYearsDay for their faith in me as a Brokie. Others thought I was a troll, and some people accused me of masquerading as a man, which I never did (there are many female Rangers!) During that summer I met my first sister Brokies, serious crayons and LauraGigs. I also met Marge Innavera on a trip to Kansas City. I got very excited about going to Wyoming in the fall and meeting more Brokies, but was told by Ohiomyown that I couldn't go (because of the suspected troll thing again). I will always regret not going on that trip. Fortunately, I got together with five other Brokies in the late fall and we began organizing our own get-together for Memorial Day 2007, and that's how me end up here!

As for how the Brokie experience affects me today, it has really changed my life. However, I haven't been able to see as much of my Brokie friends as I would have liked in the past few years because my travels have taken me way out in the middle of nowhere. I'm about to remedy that by taking off for Boston tomorrow, and it's going to be high-class entertainment all the way!