The Curious Case of Gayface: Should straight actors play gay roles?

[milomorris]

They are never going to love us.  Remember the old saying: There are basically two kinds of straight people--those who hate you to your face, and those who hate you behind your back.  It may not be true 100% of the time, but it is true enough to be a good way to proceed.

That is a patent falsehood that is just as debilitating as the myth I was taught about white people always secretly hating and distrusting us black folk. Its thinking like this that leads to self-segregation, mistrust, disunity, and a whole host of other social ills.

The truth is that there will be people who hate me simply because I am an ethnic or sexual minority. But there are far more people who are going to love me because I'm me. Most people with who I have come in contact judge me by the content of my character, and not by the color of my skin, or who I love.

[CellarDweller]

I have to agree with Katherine and Milo.  I've had great support from straight people, and I don't believe that we would have gotten as far as we have without our straight supporters.

[x-man]

I hope I am wrong.  I hope you are right, I really do.

[southendmd]

x-man, I'm sorry you feel that way.  When it comes to film, of course we gay folk like to see our lives on the big screen.  But, I don't think it matters who makes them.  They're either good or they're not.  Films like Latter Days, Shelter and Undertow, made by gay filmmakers, are our modern masterpieces.  Yet, straight filmmakers, notably Ang Lee, brought us both The Wedding Banquet and Our Beloved Film.  Certainly, there are a lot of abysmally bad gay-made films too.

However, I don't need exclusively to see gay films.  I can be moved by all kinds of films.  The kind of love in Casablanca has "nothing to do with my life", but it never fails to stir great feeling in me.

As has been pointed out, roughly half of our membership is straight women.  BBM doesn't have anything to do with their lives, on the surface, either.  Yet they are just as moved as us gay guys.  

Queer as Folk is a bad example; I found much of it objectionable myself.  

As for me, I don't need straight people to love us.  I expect respect, and yes, equal rights.  

And as for a good way to proceed, expecting straight people will hate us whether in front, or behind our backs, I think that's a sad way to approach the world.  I'm sorry if that's been your experience.  You said you're 75.  I'm 50.  We must have had different experiences.  

[serious crayons]

 You said you're 75.  I'm 50.  We must have had different experiences.  

Oh, x-man, I missed seeing your age earlier. I wonder if that influences your outlook. I'm 55, don't know many people my age who are homophobic, and I think people younger than me are even less so on average.

My state recently legalized same-sex marriage. There had been, admittedly, a close call on an anti-marriage-equality amendment last fall -- but still, less than a year later, marriage equality. When the law first passed, everybody I know on FB, most of them straight, posted some kind of celebratory post. A huge crowd of couples got married in the capital when the law took effect, starting at midnight and going until about 6 or 7 a.m. Our mayor performed the ceremonies. It was a happy, thrilling moment for both gay and straight people who witnessed it or heard about it.

[x-man]

Responses to my original posting regarding why we should even expect Hollywood to make gay-friendly movies have ranged from "very harsh" to " bigoted" and "a patent falsehood."  I'll accept "harsh," but bad news often is.

I think we BetterMost members live on islands of toleration that are not general, not worldwide, and not as solid as we might like to believe.  I live in Toronto, which is to gay Canadians what San Francisco is to gay Americans.  We have had same-sex marriage since 2003, and federally across Canada since 2005.  Yet even today in Toronto high schools the major cause of bullying is perceived sexual orientation.  And we continue to have gay-bashings, although not often.  What is it like where you are?  Now think of the rest of the world--Russia and its anti-gay law so much in the news, countries where being gay subjects you to long imprisonment or death.  And these are just the worst examples.

Gay film makers are now making movies with happy endings and abandoning the gay-as-tortured-victim motif so common to movies of the past.  I applaud this, but still I wonder.  Perhaps BBM had it right all along.  Joe Aguirre threw Jack out of his office when he came looking for a job that second summer.  Alma told Ennis, "Jack Twist, Jack nasty."  Ennis' father forced 9-year old Ennis to look at the battered, old, dead cowboy in order to teach him a lesson.  And, of course, Jack was beaten to death in the same way, leaving Ennis to face a meaningless future.  Are things now really so different on the larger scale than they were in BBM days?

[CellarDweller]

Responses to my original posting regarding why we should even expect Hollywood to make gay-friendly movies have ranged from "very harsh" to " bigoted" and "a patent falsehood."  I'll accept "harsh," but bad news often is.

With all due respect, it wasn't your post about Hollywood that got those responses, but rather your comment that "there are basically two kinds of straight people--those who hate you to your face, and those who hate you behind your back."  I can't comment on your experiences, I didn't live them, and I didn't live in those times.   All I can say is from my experiences, I have a great circle of straight friends who not only support me, but watch out for me.  Two of them are a married couple I've known since the 90s, their three kids call me "Uncle Chuck", and they frequently ask me to join them at their church, which is open and affirming with a large gay membership, in the hopes that I'll meet someone.

[x-man]

You're right.  I'm very sorry, everyone.  I'll back off.  I just realized I have been bleeding all over the computer screen, and this is not the place for that.  Please forgive me.  BetterMost and the world do not need this kind of negativity.

x-man

[Monika]

You're right.  I'm very sorry, everyone.  I'll back off.  I just realized I have been bleeding all over the computer screen, and this is not the place for that.  Please forgive me.  BetterMost and the world do not need this kind of negativity.

x-man

That´s quite alright, X-man. It´s just that a large part of the Bettermostians are indeed straight. And as a straight Brokie it felt very strange to read what you wrote.
But please do hang around, will you?

[serious crayons]

That´s quite alright, X-man. It´s just that a large part of the Bettermostians are indeed straight. And as a straight Brokie it felt very strange to read what you wrote.
But please do hang around, will you?

I second that. As a straight Brokie, with lots of straight non-homophobe friends, I was pretty taken aback. But no apologies necessary, x-man!

If there's one thing we're used to around here it's debate. You spoke what, to you, is the truth. Others have different opinions, and expressed them. We don't mind doing that; that's how minds get changed, and it's a healthy process. (The only rule at BetterMost is no personal attacks, so you can say "most straight people are homophobic," but you can't say "serious crayons,, you are homophobic," which I don't think you would anyway.)

As for the bigger-picture stuff you described a couple of posts ago, I agree there's still a lot of horrible homophobia in the world, and some in our own countries as well, so there's plenty of reason for despair. But I also see plenty of reason for optimism, at least in North America and Western Europe. Attitudes about sexual orientation have changed so dramatically just in my own lifetime!

I guess it's kind of a glass half-empty half-full situation. But to answer your question, yes, I think things are pretty different than they were back in the BBM days. Everywhere? No. But lots of places, yes.

As a woman, I see a parallel in women's rights. Are there still millions of women in the world suffering horribly because of sexism and misogyny? Yes. Do women in my own country have full equality in business, politics, filmmaking, etc.? No. But have things changed since 1963, when a woman couldn't open a bank account without her husband's permission? You bet.