x-man, I'm sorry you feel that way. When it comes to film, of course we gay folk like to see our lives on the big screen. But, I don't think it matters who makes them. They're either good or they're not. Films like Latter Days, Shelter and Undertow, made by gay filmmakers, are our modern masterpieces. Yet, straight filmmakers, notably Ang Lee, brought us both The Wedding Banquet and Our Beloved Film. Certainly, there are a lot of abysmally bad gay-made films too.
However, I don't need exclusively to see gay films. I can be moved by all kinds of films. The kind of love in Casablanca has "nothing to do with my life", but it never fails to stir great feeling in me.
As has been pointed out, roughly half of our membership is straight women. BBM doesn't have anything to do with their lives, on the surface, either. Yet they are just as moved as us gay guys.
Queer as Folk is a bad example; I found much of it objectionable myself.
As for me, I don't need straight people to love us. I expect respect, and yes, equal rights.
And as for a good way to proceed, expecting straight people will hate us whether in front, or behind our backs, I think that's a sad way to approach the world. I'm sorry if that's been your experience. You said you're 75. I'm 50. We must have had different experiences.