13 April 2015
No, sex is NOT all I think about, but I just got back from 6 weeks in Southeast Asia where I lived and worked for several year, and I did a lot of looking and remembering. Since some of you guys may be contemplating a trip to Thailand with the hopes of getting laid. I thought you might want to know what you are in for.
I only know about the men in Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand. I'll talk about Thailand here. Sexual orientation is not such a big deal in Thailand. Thai men can be divided into 1) straighter men, 2) gay-for-pay men, 3) gay men, and 4) ladyboys—transgender men who, irritatingly, have come to be emblematic of what being gay in SE Asia is all about.
Ladyboys are in all parts of Thailand, but their headquarters seems to be in Pattaya, the sin capital of Thailand south of Bangkok. In Bangkok they are to be found in all the entertainment districts since many of them work as prostitutes and escorts They are NOT to be found in the Khao San Road area. Ladyboys were never my thing, and in all my time in Thailand I only spoke to a few—telling them (trying not to be rude) that I was interested in sleeping with a man not a woman.
There is a fine line between gay Thai men and gay-for-pay men. This is because virtually every sexual interaction between a foreigner and a Thai man involves money. You can have a one-night stand or have a man stay with you during your entire trip, travelling with you to other parts of Thailand and beyond. If the latter, he will act as your host, take you to all the places to see, to the best street food, and run interference for you if necessary in sticky situation, AND he will keep you warm at night. You find them in the gay bars. (You can also find expat Westerners providing the same services, but they are a lot more expensive than local men, and for them it is mostly sex) There is no reason to class sex-workers as hustlers. They provide a service, and happy to do it, and while you are with them they make you feel that they care. I have seen some nice love stories come out of escort situations.
Where you will NOT find any gay action at all is on Khao San Road—the main backpacker street in Bangkok, and where you will probably start your trip unless you are the 5-star hotel type Snooty and relentlessly politically correct people denounce Khao San Road for being overpriced, garish, basically bars, guest houses, and tee shirt shops—the ultimate in bad taste. That is probably why I enjoy staying there at least for a few days. It is absolutely straight. There is one gay bar on a nearby street, but that is for gay Thais, not for foreigners. I moaned about this to the Dutch woman who owned the little cafe/bar I frequented. I told her that I KNEW I couldn't be the only queer on Khao San Road; statistically roughly 5% of the men I was looking out at had to be gay. My gaydar went off a couple of times, but nowhere as much as it should have.
What you are looking for is to be found elsewhere in Bangkok. There are some gay bars in the Sukhumvit area, on some of the side streets (sois) especially around Soi Cowboy, Soi 45. But the main action is where it has been for at least the past 50 years—Silom Road near near Patpong Road (a side street off of Silom) especially Soi 2 and Soi 4. You can google <gay Bangkok> for more specific info like names of bars. But almost all of them open up late, so don;t expect much action if you get there too early. In younger days I got into trouble there from time to time, and was surprised I didn't end up floating face down in a canal. But Thai gay men are not ruthless, unlike some of their counterparts in North America. The scene in a Thai gay bar in the entertainment districts is pretty well the same as it is in straight bars, except the people who flock around you when you enter, and cluster around your table and try to sit on your lap, are young men rather than young women. And, gay bars are more expensive than straight bars. If you find yourself in a straight bar and are inundated by unwelcome women, just tell them you are gay—even better go in with a friend and tell them you two are lovers. Just telling them to go away won't work because they will think you want a different selection to draw from, and new women will take their place. They won't care; you're just a little bit of money they won't male. No hard feelings. There ARE gay hotels catering to foreigners. They are generally more expensive, but if you are unsuccessful in your search through the gay bars, there are lots of young men available in the hotel bar and foyer, so you will find someone to keep you company there.
Now, to get down to basics, I have not slept with every available Thai man (sadly) so I must generalize from my own experience. The problem with Thai men is that their dicks are too small, and they cum so fast you haven't even gotten started. Now I like to think I gave good head, but not THAT good. Depending on what you are actually doing, it may not be crucially important when he cums, but I like it when we are at least on the same page. Also, you'll have a better time if you are into twinks, since that is what most Thai men are. Anyway, money is going to be involved somehow, so don't freak out and think you are being taken advantage of. And remember that Thailand has a relatively high HIV rate, so play safely.
Enjoy your trip.
